Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Transparency

I love the freedom that comes along with transparency.  The ability to be open.  To be REAL with people.  To share my heart.  To share life with the people around me and not live behind a facade.  To connect and get beyond the surface niceties.
 
I'm a people pleaser.  I want everyone to be happy, and deep down, I just want everyone to like me.  So I can understand some of the fears that can be associated with dropping our walls.  There's a fear that people will see our imperfections, and maybe they won't like what they see...maybe they won't like ME.  There's a fear that people will see our ugliness and walk away in disgust. 

Rejection.  That hurts.

But I've come to learn that it's only when you take that chance...when you let down your guard...when you start being yourself...that's when real relationships start to grow.  And it is so worth the risk.  Sure, not everyone will reciprocate in kind.  And there is wisdom in being cautious to not reveal everything to everybody you meet.  But nothing compares to finding a few genuine friends with whom you can share the depths of your heart.  I would rather have a friend who truly knows me, truly cares, and truly understands speak into my life about issues I need to deal with, than to walk around disconnected either thinking I've got my act together or the other extreme: thinking I'll never measure up.

We've all experienced dirt in our lives in one way or another.  Trials.  Hurt.  Disappointments.  Confusion.  Anxiety.  Heartache.  We've messed up.  We've failed.  But I believe that when we give that dirt over to God, He redeems.  He forgives.  He restores.  I don't believe that it ends there though.  I believe that there's a greater purpose.  We can learn to turn that around to others and extend the same grace that God has extended to us.  We can come alongside others to help point them to God's truth.  We can walk beside them and empathize and truly understand because we've been there ourselves.  I believe that's one of the main points in all of it.
An open rebuke is better than hidden love!  Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.
The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.
That sweet freedom comes when we can share the dirt and know that our friends aren't there to judge.  They are there to extend truth in grace.  Often times we will find that they, too, have been where we're at.  And that is the ultimate power of transparency. 
Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.  A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer.

2 comments:

Rachel said...

I cried when I read this Amy. You are a gifted writer! I am blessed to have you as a friend!

Amy Hoffman said...

And I, too, am blessed by you! ...an exact representation of the kind of transparent friend I'm referring to. God is good!