Breaking Free

Recently it seems like I've been involved in conversations with several different individuals and groups of people that revolve around our response (or lack thereof) during worship...specifically the time we set aside for singing/music within our respective church services. It's something that I've thought about in the past. Something that's bothered me on occasion. Something that I've wondered whether or not I'm actually justified when it frustrates me.

I've seen a change in my own response, and it's interesting to track the progression that's occurred especially over the last few years. When I think of my response today, compared to my past, there's an amazingly stark contrast. I remember when I was first introduced to "praise & worship" music and how awkward it felt when a scattered few started to clap. And that first time I saw someone across the auditorium raise their hand...bizzare. But now I'm the one clapping and raising my hands...and not just turning my palms up in front of me, but both arms are often flung straight up in wild abandon. I've found that when the Holy Spirit's stirring in my heart, I can't help but respond physically. And I especially can't help the joy that flows out of my heart and spreads across my face.

Like I said, I'm actually bothered now when people don't respond. I've experienced some frustration when I've lead worship, looked out into the congregation, and been met with stone cold expressions. It hurts my heart to think that such a large body of believers can gather together with the express purpose to worship our Father corporately, and yet for all intents and purposes appear to not be moved in any way.

But I've been pondering today if I actually have a right to be upset?? I think the crux of it comes down to a question of each person's heart. And the problem is that I have no way to be able to judge what's going on inside of people at any given time. Maybe it comes so easily and so naturally to me because I'm just an emotive person, and that's the way God's designed me to respond. Is one way of worshiping better than another? I don't think so. Maybe some people aren't singing because they need to take the time to actually stop and soak in the words. Maybe other people are actually responding in their own respective ways, but I don't understand it because we're not wired the same way.

With that said, I do think that in some way we all have a genuine struggle to break free from things that hold us back from really meeting with God. I know that I'm constantly battling the noise of life. There are things that pull for my attention and take my focus off of communing with my Father. For others, it might be an inability to break free from tradition or a fear of change. Or maybe we're just worried about what other people might think. We can be overly conscious of everyone around us, and we can't break free from caring about the opinions of others. I really believe that satan loves to keep us in bondage, and he will do anything and everything to keep us from our relationship with Christ.

I was just reading in 2 Samuel this week about David bringing the Ark of the LORD back to Jerusalem. King David was celebrating in the presence of the Lord. He danced before the Lord with all his might, wearing a priestly garment. (i.e. he was all but naked) Typically there tend to be certain traditions and rules that govern the way royalty is expected to act. When you're the king, people are definitely going to be watching you. And David's wife, Michal, wasn't too pleased with his display. She came out to meet him in disgust saying, "How distinguished the king of Israel looked today, shamelessly exposing himself to the servant girls like any vulgar person might do!" But I love David's response. David retorted, “I was dancing before the LORD, who chose me above your father and all his family! He appointed me as the leader of Israel, the people of the LORD, so I celebrate before the LORD. Yes, and I am willing to look even more foolish than this, even to be humiliated in my own eyes!"

Now I'm not suggesting that anyone go and get naked. Please...don't. :) But what I am saying is that putting everything aside, it doesn't matter what people think. It doesn't even matter if we do, in fact, look foolish to people around us. Ultimately the only thing that matters is God's opinion. He is reason enough to put aside our inhibitions. He is the reason we worship. And there is freedom to be found in surrendering everything to Him. It's my prayer that as we continue to grow in our walk with God, that we'll recognize the things that hold us back, be able to break free from them, and genuinely meet with our Father.