Wating...in the interim

There are times when I've felt pretty useless.  Life ebbs and flows, and there are these periods when I've felt like I'm just sitting there...just taking up space....feeling like a lump.  I've gotten stuck in that mental trap again.  Stuck in that time warp between where I've been and where I want to be.  Those dreams are just. out. of. reach.  That hurt just. won't. fade.  There's a glimmer of hope, but it's almost too dim to tell if it's real.  Something has to give.  Something just has to change soon, doesn't it?  And here I am...still waiting.

You know, I'm tired of thinking I can't do anything until that ONE BIG THING comes to pass.  I'm tired of the self-pity.  I'm tired of feeling like my life can't move forward until the wait is over.  I'm tired of waiting for someday and wasting the life I have today! 

So what can you do "in the mean time"?  God has given us right here and right now.  God has given us TODAY.  I believe that God has given all of us gifts and the ability to serve other people.  And that's not contingent on your economic status, your stage of life, your health, your age, or whether or not you think you've finally "arrived".  Ask Him to help you find ways to develop what you have available to you right now.  Ask Him to grow your faith.  Ask Him to use You.  Ask Him to help you discern His hand and give you wisdom to walk through the doors He is opening without hesitation.  Ask Him for the humility to see your shortcomings.  Seek out opportunities to serve.  Seek out ways to connect with other people who are hurting like you are and reach out to them.  Support.  Encourage.  Instill hope.  Share Jesus and what He's doing in your life. 

The more I think about it, maybe the real gift isn't in arriving.  Maybe it's the wait in and of itself? 

It's amazing how much more intensely I've sought God when I'm in one of those overwhelming seasons.  Those are the times when I've felt His presence so much more acutely.  I've devoured His Word.  I've prayed incessantly.  I've learned to trust Him implicitly.  I've fallen more deeply in love with Him.  Honestly, I wouldn't trade those times for anything in the world.  More than any other time, those seasons of wait have strengthened and deepened my relationship with my Father as I've run hard after Him and surrendered everything to Him along the way.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.