I've been thinking a lot about surrender and what that really means. What does that look like practically in every day life? Does it mean completely letting go of dreams? Does it mean defeat and loss? Does it mean giving up completely on desires that run deeply to the core of our hearts?
We hold so tightly to the thought of
one day. We try to imagine what it would be like if all our chasings and strivings suddenly would all come together. What would happen if that windfall actually came? What if all our planning actually panned out the way we wanted every step of the way? What if
one day finally arrived, and we could be who think we want to be; do what we think we want to do; be with who we think we want to be with. Our dreams of
one day turned into reality.
Much of the time the things we hold on to the tightest are those inmost longings. We yearn for something or someone to fill a void...that deep ache of the soul. We scramble to do anything and everything to orchestrate the outcome the way we believe is best. But even when we're just simply waiting on God and praying earnestly like we're "supposed to do", that once truly healthy desire can become an obsession and morph into an ugly oppressive mental trap that eats away at our resolve and robs us of our joy.
Doubts form.
Resentment builds.
Bitterness starts taking root.
I like to think I know what's best for me, but really, I don't have a clue. It's like I keep trying to shove that square peg into that confounded round hole, wonder why nothing seems to work right, and then have the audacity to keep pushing. Maybe I'm supposed to eventually fulfill that dream of filling that space, but until I'm willing to surrender that square peg and allow God to guide me in His good timing, it's only going to be futile and frustrating.
Surrender. I don't think it necessarily means completely giving up on God given dreams and desires. But I do think it means allowing God access to those sacred places that we're not willing to let go of and offering them to Him. Laying them at His feet and relinquishing control. Declaring
Thy will be done and really meaning it, because He has promised:
I will lead the blind by ways they have not known,
along unfamiliar paths I will guide them;
I will turn the darkness into light before them
and make the rough places smooth.
These are the things I will do;
I will not forsake them.
I'm starting to realize that surrender is God's antidote to the cage we create for ourselves as we plan for
one day. I'm beginning to experience surrender as something completely liberating. I want to trust my life in God's hands...the God who controls the universe. I want that freedom that's found in surrendering my mediocre way of doing things and embracing His perfect plans and His way of accomplishing them. God's way is always, always better.
Blessed is the man who fears the LORD,
who finds great delight in his commands.
Even in darkness light dawns for the upright,
for the gracious and compassionate and righteous man.
Surely he will never be shaken;
a righteous man will be remembered forever.
He will have no fear of bad news;
his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD.
His heart is secure, he will have no fear;
in the end he will look in triumph on his foes.
