Note to Self: Try

It's so simple, really.

No, I don't mean "trying".

I'm talking about "I can't".

It's easy.

Shying away from the difficult.

Refusing to give it a shot.

Remaining comfortable.

Safe.

Saying "I'm not good enough."

"I'm not ready."

"I'll fail."

"I'm scared."

"I can't."

It's easy to stay where you are.

Maintain the status quo.

Unchanged.

Unmoved.

The same.

It's easy.

But what gain is there in that?

What glory can you bring to God?

Is it really about you anyway?

If God asks you to go, don't you dare say "no".

You GO.

If God says, "do", don't say "I can't".

You DO.

God, Who spoke the universe into existence.

God, Who knit together your very essence.

If God is asking,

He will faithfully carry you through.

I don't want easy.

I want God's best.

I want to take a chance.

To answer His call.

To step out in faith.

I don't want easy.

I want the impossible.

What is impossible with men is possible with God.

Note to Self: Pity Parties

Pity parties. I used to be really good at throwing them.

Guest list: me, myself, and I.

They weren't much fun.

I certainly didn't invite God to them. Oh sure, I'd call Him crying. I'd ask Him to make it stop hurting so much. I'd ask Him "why me?!" He'd always show up wanting to help, but I'd never let Him in the door. For some reason every time He came knocking, I decided I liked my party just the way it was. A big, sad, self-pitying mess.

And then somewhere along the way I woke up. I grew up. I realized how much I was missing in my pity party of one. How selfish and self absorbed I was being. I was downright ungrateful. I was miserable. I was denying God the opportunity to take the chaos and confusion and turn it into something beautiful and flourishing.

I still throw my little pity parties at times, but thankfully I'm finding that I'm letting God in more often than not now. Sometimes we just sit and cry together, but I'm finding that He changes the bitter, angry tears to tears of joy and hope. Sometimes in the middle of it all, I just need to be reminded of where I've been and how far God has brought me. How He's faithfully carried me through so much. How time after time He's provided for my exact needs and blessed me abundantly even in the middle of some of the most painful times.

And so I thought I should write myself a little reminder...

Today's Note to Self: Pity Parties - don't talk yourself into hosting one...ever.

2011 Best Of - Waiting

It seems like a long time since I compiled my thoughts on what I've been learning through the process of waiting.  I think it's one of the major themes of this last year.

Waiting...

I'm still waiting...

I'll probably always be waiting for something...

So I went back and read over my thoughts from earlier this year.
It's good to review.
And as I read, I'm seeing that they still hold fast and true.

It's something that will consistently continue to be ingrained in my heart. Something that I'm so thankful to still be learning and growing in as time flips forward into the new year.

Waiting...

Waiting...in Contentment

Waiting...with Expectation

Waiting...in Worship

Waiting...in the Interim

Waiting...with Shattered Dreams

Time Off

I think it's time for a little break.

Inspiration is fleeting at times, and right now it's on the lam.

Plus, I'm heading south for a bit.  :)

No worries. I will return...at least that's the current plan.  haha

Fleece

Is it ok to question God?
Is it ok to test what you think God's leading you to do?
Is it ok to wonder if you're hearing God correctly?
Is it ok to ask God to prove Himself?

Enter Gideon and his fleece.

In Judges 6, God comes and has a little chat with Gideon saying that He is going to use Gideon to rescue the Israelites from Midian. Gideon flat out sees the LORD face to face, and yet he still questions God and asks Him to prove Himself...and not just once, but twice.

Then Gideon said to God, “If you are truly going to use me to rescue Israel as you promised, prove it to me in this way. I will put a wool fleece on the threshing floor tonight. If the fleece is wet with dew in the morning but the ground is dry, then I will know that you are going to help me rescue Israel as you promised." And that is just what happened. When Gideon got up early the next morning, he squeezed the fleece and wrung out a whole bowlful of water. 

Then Gideon said to God, “Please don’t be angry with me, but let me make one more request. Let me use the fleece for one more test. This time let the fleece remain dry while the ground around it is wet with dew." So that night God did as Gideon asked. The fleece was dry in the morning, but the ground was covered with dew.

I've come up on two different sides of this coin. On one hand, there have been times when I've thrown caution to the wind, plowed full steam ahead, and run after what I think is best. I think it has to be what God's best is for me, because for all intents and purposes it looks good on the surface. And honestly, there's nothing even wrong with it. It really is good. But I've never stopped to consult with God on the matter. I've never given Him the opportunity to speak into the situation. I've never asked Him if it really is what He's calling me to do. I've never asked Him to prove Himself. And then I've found out that what I thought was His voice, really was just my voice telling me what I wanted to hear.

There have also been times when I've over analyzed. I've asked God to show me what He wants me to do. I've prayed. I've poured over the Scriptures. I've asked for signs. I've questioned if it's God speaking, or if it's just me trying to convince myself. I've mulled it over. Talked to other people. Tested the waters time and time and time again. After all that, I've still felt the same call on my life, but then I didn't do anything. I didn't take any action. I remained in my comfort zone...still waiting for God to prove Himself...when, in reality, He already had. I was just too afraid or just too plain comfortable to follow.

I believe that it's not only wise, but it's also necessary to seek God's direction in our lives. It's foolish to come to rash conclusions without consulting Him first. Decisions should be made with prayerful consideration combined with affirmation from His Word. And setting before Him a "seemingly impossible, only God could do this" fleece of a test can sometimes be the most prudent and godly action we can take. But, in conjunction, I also believe that if you're going to test Him, then you also better be ready to take action and follow Him.

The very next verse that follows Gideon's fleece test reads: Gideon and his army got up early and went. Gideon didn't go and ask other people what they thought. He didn't keep thinking about it. He didn't over analyze.

Gideon asked for a sign.
God answered Gideon.
Gideon went.
End of story.

Actually, that's not the end of the story. It's just the beginning. The rest of Judges 7 tells of how God used Gideon to defeat the Midianites. God worked through Gideon to rescue the Israelites just like He promised He would.

So go ahead. Ask God to prove Himself. Lay out your fleece before Him. But when He speaks, make sure you're ready to respond. He's going to work through you just like He promised He would!

I've seen how God has specifically answered the prayers one of my former pastors more than once as he's placed his fleece before God with an open heart and feet ready for action. (You can read his blog posts here and here.) I just love how God continues to speak to us today and show us His will.

Black Friday

I can't say that I ever remember actually going out and shopping on Black Friday before...well, at least not at some ungodly hour of the morning. I think it takes a special kind of person to actually really enjoy that kind of mayhem. And special, I am not! Well, not that kind of special at least. :o)

So I'm curious...if you are one of the special ones and you actually enjoy the craziness, do you do anything in particular to prepare for your outing? Do you plan exactly where you're going and map out your route? Do you head out in the morning, or do you camp out over night? Have you ever gotten into a fight over the "last one on the shelf"? Do you go by yourself, or is it a group event?

I was thinking that if I ever decide to go out and brave the chaos, I'd need some tips to help me figure out the best course of action. Since we finally have our very own Target that just opened up in town, I found their commercials from last year, and I think I'm all set now. Of course, I can't tell exactly, but I think this lady might be on crack. So now I'm second guessing her suggestions, and I'm not so sure that taking advice from the Crazy Target Lady is really the best idea after all???
But she certainly is special, isn't she?! :o)

Tip #1: Practice Reverse Psychology

Tip #2: Visualize Your Path

Tip #3: Check The Weather

Tip #4: Use A Utility Belt

Tip #5: Draft To The Doorbusters

Tip #6: Make A List & Check It Thrice

Oh my word. Apparently in 2010, they only opened at 4am. But now in 2011, they're opening at 12am!! Absolutely crazy. Hope you're ready!! :o)

Happy Thanksgiving!

I'm thankful for a ton of things. Obviously, there are those big ticket items like my relationship with God, my family, friends, a good job, my home, etc. where God has poured out abundant blessing upon my life. But there are lots of little things too...most of them might even be considered trivial. But I'm still thankful for them none-the-less.

Coke Zero - zero calories with less "diet taste" than diet.

iPhone - I never have to be disconnected...EVER. I think I'm addicted.

Hillsong/Jesus Culture - putting out some of the best worship music out there (I could list several more, but these probably top my list at this particular moment)

christianbook.com - just a click away from an amazing new book, and it's ALWAYS fun to get packages in the mail...even if you've sent them to yourself.  :-)

Lucky Jeans - simply awesome

Cadbury Mini Eggs - why such an amazing form of chocolate is only available for a couple months out of the year, I'll never understand.

College football - Saturdays in the fall are never boring, and I will forever be a Penn State fan...WE ARE!!

Ann Taylor & Banana - the OUTLETS, not the real stores. My closet thanks you!

Pumpkin Spice Lattes - Starbucks, I am eternally grateful.

The iPod jack in my glovebox - it has forever changed my car music experience.

Brooks sneakers - I love you, and I curse you. You have made me able to run pain free, and now I have no more excuses.

The elliptical in my basement - being able to exercise no matter the weather (also affording me no excuses...shoot)

USATF - now I actually know how far I'm running, AND it's fun to map new routes.

Elf - Christmas (and, honestly, the rest of the year) wouldn't be complete without it!

Great blogs - Perry Noble, Pete Wilson, Rick Glass (when he actually writes...ha), Tripp Crosby, Jon Acuff, Carlos Whittaker, Steven Furtick, Plywood People, Leading and Loving It ...and that's just to name a few.

Heated Leather Seats - there's nothing else that needs to be said.

Special K with Red Berries - my dinner staple 75% of the time.

I could go on and on. It was hard to narrow down my list, but I might be most thankful that my Thanksgiving day will NOT be like this... 

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

:)

What trivial things are you thankful for??  :)

Risk

Just an excerpt from Jon Acuff's Quitter that made me stop and think:

*******************************************************

Apathy is a good friend when opportunity stares you in the face and you're afraid to actually find out what would happen if you tried to follow through with a dream job or a desire. And it's a good friend because something weird happens when we step out for a big adventure. We start to ask ourselves the "what if" questions.
"What if I try and I fail and it turns out I'm not really a writer after all?"
"What if we have kids and I'm a horrible mother?"
"What if I start my own business and it turns out all these years I've been wrong about being a great entrepreneur?"

In those moments, we become obsessed with the fear of finding out what we are not. It reminds me of how Matt Damon's character describes why he is a murderous imposter in the movie The Talented Mr. Ripley. He says, "I always thought it'd be better to be a fake somebody than a real nobody." Apathy is ultimately about being a "fake somebody."

We're afraid of finding out what we're really made of so instead we end up making no decision because neutral is safe. We think that if we don't do anything, we won't make the wrong decision. But not doing anything is its own decision, and the odds of failure are horrible.

Let's pretend that you decide to pursue your dream job with all your heart. Let's say that, like me, you put all the chips in and move your family and change jobs and end relationships and start new ones in a new state. Five years later you look back on the decision and either it worked or it didn't. There will be shades of differentiation in there, but for the most part you'll either have succeeded (you made the right decision) or failed (you mace the wrong decision). So you have roughly 50 percent odds of things working out.

But nobody fears just making the wrong decision. Through the kaleidoscope we fear the worst possible outcome we can imagine - a series of interrelated failures, a spider web of screw-ups that collapses our entire being. When I play that game, I go from "mistake" to "hobo on the streets" in about five minutes. I imagine losing my job in some sort of spectacular way that prevents me from ever finding gainful employment again. I don't just get blacklisted in one industry; I manage to get barred from every industry on the planet. My family would leave me too because I'd be a hobo and they wouldn't want to be part of my new drifter lifestyle. Riding the rails and whatnot. I'd kick around the Pacific Northwest and try to become a glassblower or something, but that wouldn't work either. Ultimately I'd fall apart and people would use me as a cautionary tale of extreme potential gone to extreme waste.

The chances of that happening, of you or me really wasting our lives to that degree, are very, very slim. They're probably 1 percent. Maybe 2 percent if you already know a guy who's into glassblowing and lives in the Pacific Northwest.

Now let's say that your fear of answering "What if?" is massive. You're paralyzed by it and in order to avoid it you don't make any decision about pursing your dream. You now have a 100 percent chance of your dream not coming to fruition. People who do not attempt to recover their dreams fail 100 percent of the time.

So you have a 2 percent chance of horrific failure if you try and a 100 percent chance if you don't. Those are horrible odds, but maybe I over exaggerated and 2 percent is incredibly low. Let's pretend there's a 50 percent chance that your worst failure comes to fruition. Those odds are still better than not trying at all.

You might fail. By recovering your dream and running with it, risk runs with you. You could fall flat on your face. But I'd accept that risk a thousand times before I accepted the guarantee of failure of not trying.

Do the math and don't make the fear of failure an insurmountable obstacle.

I Hate Cats

Ideas are being tossed around with my former college roommate about potentially living together again in the future. Sounds great, right?!

I love my college roommate.
My college roommate loves me (or so I like to think...haha).
So far, so good.

My college roommate loves to cook.
I love to eat.
Brilliant arrangement!

My college roommate loves to shop, watch movies, and be cultured.
I love all of the above as well.
This couldn't be more perfect!!

My college roommate loves her cats.
I HATE CATS!
Shoot.
Dilemma.

Yes. I said it.
Yes. I mean it.
I am not a fan of cats whatsoever. I think it's mostly the shedding part, to be completely honest. Ugh...I feel like I'm choking on a hairball just thinking about them. Nice mental image, I know. Ohhhh, I can hear it in my head now too. ;-)

In addition to the shedding and their overtly self-absorbed temperamental attitudes, there are multiple other reasons to dislike cats...as demonstrated by the following:

Cats disturb sleep and mangle your face!

Cats destroy furniture and force feed you insects!

Cats interrupt important TV viewing, and I swear they're trying take over the world!

Cats completely obliterate all your hard work! It's a conspiracy!!

Cats even ruin Christmas!!

And that right there is more than reason enough to hate them! :)

And so, now the question remains:
Which has more clout?? My love for my college roommate or my hatred of cats?? 
Hmmmm... I guess time will tell.  :)

Being Present

I've really been feeling convicted recently to put my phone down, put it on silent, and really focus on the people right there in front of me. It chimes with every notification and incoming message. But why do I feel the need to check email/text/facebook/twitter right in the middle of a conversation that I'm having with someone face to face?! What could be that important that I can't put the world on hold and focus on someone in that moment who actually matters?

We're always distracted. The busyness never seems to end. There are always multiple things vying for our attention all at once. We're always connected, and yet how often are we really connecting? We're interacting on so many different levels with tens/hundreds/thousands of people, and yet I question whether or not we are ever fully invested in anyone? When was the last time we truly spent time with people? Even more importantly, when was the last time we really gave GOD our undivided attention? Do we ever just STOP and listen? What does being present even look like?

I've been mulling over the challenge we received at Catalyst Atlanta this year:
Are you willing to be present??

And I really appreciated their examples of what being present really looks like in a practical way:

• Being present means wherever you are, you are all there. It's our responsibility to embrace what God has put squarely in front of us.
• Being present means when talking with someone, you look them in the eyes and listen. Not looking over their shoulder to see whom else is there. Be all there.
• Being present is about focusing on and embracing the NOW. Not just passing through a moment to get to the next thing, but instead focusing on the right now, the present, the Today.
• Being present is about engaging and listening to those right in front of you.
• Being present means you're all in when you're at home. You engage with your spouse and kids.
• Being present means creating margin that allows for interruptions and moment of inconvenience, which can be moments when God does the greatest work through us.
• Being present means consumed by Jesus and the presence of the Holy Spirit. Because He is Present.
• Being present means balancing a culture of distraction and consumption with a commitment to solitude and silence.
• Being present is about staying. It's about showing up and never leaving. Having presence in a place, location or context. Being connected to an address, a neighborhood, a city, a zip code.
• Being present means embracing the role that God has given you right now, and bearing fruit in and through your life.
• Being present means being involved in the community you are located in. Existing in community and not always trying to "create" community. Knowing and loving your neighbors.
• Being present means being deeply rooted. Having maturity, and tremendous depth. Not being anxious and overbearing or sporadic.
• Being present means being in relationship. Incarnational ministry. Creating disciples. Presence demands relationship. Being available to those around you, and casting self aside and focusing on the needs of others. Knowing those around you deeply.
• Being present is more than just attending an event. It's more than just showing up. It's being a part of a moment. It's a way of life.

And don't be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God's place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there.

The 21st Century

Yeah, communication and technology have come a LONG way!!

Remember this sound???

What??  You can't even remember the last time you heard that?? Well, up until yesterday, living in the land of dial up, that's the only sound my parents heard when they tried to tap into the world wide web. And here I thought I made some giant technological advance when I upgraded from my old regular cell phone to my smart phone?! Funny thing is that up until yesterday, they wouldn't have been able to even watch that clip because it would have taken too long to load! :)

I'd like to officially welcome my parents to the 21st century. There's a whole new world out there just waiting to be discovered!! I think my dad might be most excited because he can finally watch the Guy On A Buffalo videos whenever he wants now.  haha!

I wonder what's next?? Maybe someday they'll get a webcam. HA!! I can just imagine that it might go a little something like this...

Who knows?! Maybe someday they'll even get cable or satellite tv and actually be able to see more than four channels?!  **gasp** Then again, that's probably pushing it...  :)

Annoyed

I spent the first two days of this week in the Lancaster County court house serving my very first jury duty summons...ever.
Ergo, I spent the first two days of this week being annoyed.
Yes, annoyed.

I was annoyed that I had to get up earlier than normal.
I was annoyed that I had to drive into the city.
I was annoyed that I couldn't wear jeans.
I was annoyed that I wasn't able to get my beginning of the week tasks done at work.
I was annoyed that I couldn't remember if I locked my car in the parking garage.
I was annoyed that I had to take off my watch when the metal detector went off.
I was annoyed that I had to wear a red juror button.
I was annoyed that I was sitting in a room full of people I didn't know.
I was annoyed that the chairs were horribly uncomfortable.
I was annoyed that the loudest typer in the world had to write a novel on his laptop.
I was annoyed that everyone had to ask the bobbin lace making lady what she was making.
I was annoyed that the bobbin lace lady also knew everything about everything and wasn't afraid to voice her opinions about every single detail...loudly.
I was annoyed that the bobbin lace lady touted the superiority of New York drivers in the middle of a PA juror holding room.
I was annoyed that people didn't know how to put their phones on vibrate.
I was annoyed that non-smart phone users were texting without silencing them first. (beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, well...you get the picture...)
I was annoyed that I didn't bring my phone in with me the first morning.
I was annoyed that I didn't consume any coffee.
I was annoyed that my non-caffeinated head bobbed several times throughout the morning.
I was annoyed that I couldn't focus enough to read with all the chatter going on around me.
I was annoyed that the smokers got special privileges to go outside.
I was annoyed that I got my hopes up thinking we might get to leave early.
I was annoyed that they made ten of us squish together and sit in one pew.
I was annoyed that the courtroom smelled of a strange horrible mix of fish and urine.
I was annoyed that the judge had to over-explain every single detail.
I was annoyed that people stood up and gave irrelevant answers to the judge's inquiry.
I was annoyed that the courtroom benches were super hard and made my butt fall asleep.
I was annoyed that the courtroom temperature continued to rise to a boiling point.
I was annoyed that we had to come back a second day.

But mostly...
I was annoyed that I didn't know what to expect.
I was annoyed that, in my opinion, my time was being wasted.
I was annoyed that my normal routine was being interrupted.

Basically, I am a selfish, spoiled little brat.  :-/

Apparently do everything without complaining or arguing totally went out the window this week. Wow. **sigh**

And now I am annoyed that I was annoyed.  :-/

60

Wow. Today is my momma's birthday, and it's a BIG one. A whole new decade. It's kind of surreal. Seems like only yesterday we were celebrating her 50th. And the other birthdays weren't that long ago either, were they?

She just told me yesterday that Life is GOOD! And I believe it. Life really is good.

I know I pick on her, and we butt heads at times, but our time here together is so fleeting and way too precious to waste. So not only do I want to say "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOMMA!!!", but much more importantly I want to say "I LOVE YOU!!!"  :-)

Rewind

Have you ever wanted to go back and redo certain eras of life?

Sometimes I'd just love to hit the rewind button and totally change everything about my college experience. Well, not my roommate (just to clarify since I know you're probably reading this...haha). And I'm not saying I want to go through the classes and studying part either. BUT seriously, sometimes I wonder what it would be like to go back and relive the social life part as the person I am today rather than who I was back then. Oh man...I would have gotten involved in SO much more...done SO much more...been so much more fun! Why in the world did I hole up in my room so much?! Why didn't I get to know people?! I can't even use the excuse that I was investing time in studying. Nope...I was just flat out lame.  haha

And then there's a whole other level...

Sometimes I'd just love to rewrite portions of life when I made stupid choices; gave into temptations; let other people's opinions speak louder than the truth; rushed ahead with decisions before consulting God's wisdom. Actually, there are even some parts of life that I honestly just want to completely erase. I wish they never took place. I don't even want a second chance to live through them again. Can we just pretend like they never even happened and move on?

But there's something I've started to learn and really understand over the last few years. There's something about the past that's made me who I am today. There are seasons of life I'm not proud of, there are things that I should have handled a whole lot better, and there are moments when I've completely messed up. But without going through those rough spots and working through a lot of painful and hard times, I wouldn't have learned most of the invaluable life lessons that are behind why I'm where I am right now.

There's something to be said about the wisdom that comes as you live life. There's a difference between head knowledge and really understanding through experience. And while it might be nice to be able to rewind and be granted a do-over, I can honestly say that I wouldn't want to trade any of my past if it meant giving up what I've learned through it. And as long as I keep my eyes open to God's leading, He will continue to use every facet of life to continually mold me and help me grow.

Catalyst Craziness

The Catalyst Conference isn't all serious intensity.  There's a ton of random crazy creativity thrown in the mix every year too.  It's one well rounded experience.  And it's awesome! 

Haha...and here are just a few of the crazy stunts that were included in the Catalyst East 2010 experience:

And I think this one was my favorite stunt of all:

Catalyst Atlanta 2011

The time has finally arrived! The day is finally here! We've been waiting all year for this amazing annual event!!

Catalyst Atlanta 2011 begins TODAY!!! 

I know I posted about my excitement over this back in June when I registered, but now that it's finally here, I am even more pumped up! I can't wait to sit and absorb all of it again this year!!  What a phenomenal line up of speakers:

Andy Stanley

Jim Collins

Priscilla Shirer

Dave Ramsey

Judah Smith

Mark Driscoll

Francis Chan

Dr. Cornel West

Blake Mycoskie

Joel Houston

David Kinnaman

Derreck Kayongo

Katie Davis

Learning invaluable leadership insights. Being refueled and inspired. Worshiping. Growing. Being challenged. Just plain having fun.  ...these just a few things that I'm looking forward to once again this year!

Here's just a small glimpse into what happened last year. I'm sure it will be just as awesome this time around! I can't believe I get to be a part of this TODAY!!!  :-)

Worth it

I wrote earlier this week that I wish every woman would come to realize just how valuable they really are. And I would especially love to drill that sense of significance straight into the heart of every young girl. You are worthy of respect.  You are worth waiting for. You deserve to be treated with honor. You are precious. And you should be cherished and pursued. I long to see you radiate self assurance, a sense of self sufficiency, and a knowledge that you are, indeed, worth it.

Please don't misunderstand me. I am the farthest thing from a feminist. I'm not getting up on any soapbox as an advocate for woman's rights. I'm not rallying for female dominance. And I'm completely sold out to the Biblical command, "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord". I'm just saying that I'm also totally sold out to the rest of the command, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church".

It flat out breaks my heart to see so many women who don't see themselves the way that God sees them. It breaks my heart when I see women settling for less than God's best for their lives. It breaks my heart to see women close themselves off so tightly and put up so many defenses that they never allow themselves to be known and truly loved. It breaks my heart to see women diving into unhealthy relationships to avoid being alone. It breaks my heart when I see women jumping at anyone who will show interest in them. It breaks my heart to see women giving away pieces of their heart and their bodies that they can never get back.

So to the young woman who is searching for love, looking for acceptance, longing for someone to fill that empty space...please know that you are worth more than a one night stand. You deserve to be treated well. You should never be made to feel little and discarded. You are worth being pursued. Your boundaries are worth keeping and need to be respected. You need to hold tight to your standards. And if you're currently in a dating relationship where you're belittled, where you have to walk on eggshells, if you're just flat out not able to be you, and especially if he hasn't made Jesus a priority in his life...RUN AWAY...NOW!!! I know it will hurt. I know it sucks to sit at home on a Friday night with nothing to do, but trust me...staying is only hurting you more. God has SO much more for your life. You are precious to Him, and He wants only the best for His daughters. Run to Him. He loves you more than any person here on earth could ever begin to love you. He accepts you just the way you are, and only He can truly satisfy that empty space. You are worth it!

In Ephesians, God gives us an amazing picture of the way you should be treated by comparing our earthly relationships to the way Christ relates to us:

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church– for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery–but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

I realize that's a pretty high standard, and humanity will never be able to perfectly mirror Christ. But I also don't believe that God put this in the Bible without expecting us to do our best to follow it. I believe this is what God intended for all of us to experience. THIS is God's best for us, and I firmly believe that He will honor your commitment to pursue His best for your life. You are worth it!!

And if you're interested, I love how Perry Noble comes straight out and addresses dating/relationships without holding back.  These posts he's written are awesome:

• Every Single Dude and “Dude-ett” Should Read This!!!
• How To Be Pursued By A Guy
• Six Signs The Dating Relationship Is In Trouble…
• Five Things A Single Dude NEEDS To Know…
• 10 Reasons I Should Not Be Dating Him/Her
• How To Pursue A Young Lady–Four Things You Should Know
• Top Five Temptations Single People Face When Considering A Relationship
• Advice For Single People!!!
• I/We Should Break Up Because…
• 18 Myths Singles Believe…And A Quick Note About Sunday

It Is Good

I love this excerpt from the last chapter of Shauna Niequist's Cold Tangerines:

I have to remind myself that [life] is good. I have to create hope in my life, because there's something inside me that has radar for the bad parts of life. I walk into the kitchen and all I can see are crumbs on the counter, and I look in the mirror and don't even see my face, I just see all the potential wrinkles forming. I have a dark, worst-case scenario sensor, and it takes over. It's all true. There are crumbs on the counter. I am definitely getting wrinkles. I just don't want to live in only that reality.

Because there is another reality. A better one. Hope and redemption and change are real, and they're happening all around me. So I choose to act out of that reality, because the other one makes life too hard, day after day. Life is painful, and we carry with us so much disappointment and heartbreak. But I'm fighting to save some space inside me where I can create hope. I can't live there in the disappointment anymore. I've missed whole seasons of my life. I look back and all I remember is pain. I guess I went to work or class during that time, but I don't really remember. I wasted a lot of time wishing I was different. I didn't love the gift of life because I was too busy being angry about the life I was given. I wanted it to be different. But being angry didn't change those things. It just wasted time. I can't take away the things that have happened to you or to me, but what we have, maybe as a reward for getting through all the other days, is today. Today is a gift. And if we have tomorrow, tomorrow will be a gift.

It's rebellious, in a way, to choose joy, to choose to dance, to choose to love your life. It's much easier and much more common to be miserable. But I choose to do what I can do to create hope, to celebrate life, and the act of celebrating connects me back to that life I love. We could just live our normal, day-to-day lives, saving all the good living up for someday, but I think today, just plain today, is worth it. I think it's our job, each of us, to live each day like it's a special occasion, because we've been given a gift. We get to live in this beautiful world. When I live purposefully and well, when I dance instead of sitting it out, when I let myself laugh hard, when I wear my favorite shoes on a regular Tuesday, that regular Tuesday is better.

Right now, around our house, all the leaves are falling, and there's no reason that they have to turn electric bright red before they fall, but they do, and I want to live like that. I want to say, "What can I do today that brings more beauty, more energy, more hope?" Because it seems like that's what God is saying to us, over and over. "What can I do today to remind you again how good this life is? You think the color of the sky is good now, wait till sunset. You think oranges are good? Try a tangerine." He's a crazy delightful mad scientist and keeps coming back from the lab with great, unbelievable new things, and it's a gift. It's a gift to be a part of it.

Let's echo his words, and let our lives speak those words: It is good.

5k Run

I never thought this day would come, but it's official. I'm finally doing it. I'm running in my very first 5k on Saturday. I've run off and on over the last few years. Granted, most of the time it's more off than on, but still. I've moaned and complained about how much I hate running. Seriously, when I would run while playing soccer in high school, it was a completely different ball game (no pun intended). It was totally different than running just to run. There was a point. There was something to run after. Now that I think about it, I've even whined in a blog post or two about how much I loathe running. And yet, I keep doing it. Because it's good for me. *sigh*

And now I'm actually running in an organized event?! I'm running with a bunch of other people?! I'm actually being timed?! Oh boy. I must be crazy. OR...it must be for a good cause!! Yeah, I think that's a much better explanation by far! Because it is, indeed, for an incredible cause...for an amazing little boy!!  Check out his story and details for the race here.

Come out and run, walk, bike, skate, or even crawl with us. Just come out. Come and support this wonderful family.

Side note: I love the crazy, awesome staff at Victory Church. This video truly captures two of them in all their glory. haha

Child Proof

I've owned my home for...well, let me think...  Wow.  It will be 10 years in December.  Oh my word.  I must be getting old. ;-) 

I've made changes here and there. I've painted. I've slowly pulled together coordinating pictures and accent pieces over the years. But for the most part, the main large pieces of furniture have remained the same. Let's just say that when you live somewhere for that long by yourself, there can be a tendency to get used to the way things are. And if you're like me (God help you if you are...haha), you can walk through your every day routine without even thinking, because everything has a specific spot, and it will most certainly be right where you left it when you go to reach for it the next time.  There's also a tendency to not even notice particular items and totally overlook them, because that's just where they've always been. That is...until you bring a child into the picture.

A few weeks ago, I was finally able to hang out with some dear friends that I don't get to see nearly enough, and they brought their precious wee ones with them to my house for the afternoon. Granted, one of them is still a baby, and he could do no more harm than to drool on my carpet. :-) But the same cannot be said of the sweetest one year old toddler girl I know. She really was so good, but everyone gets a little naughty when they're way overdue for a nap, right? And it was that afternoon when I realized how child proof my house is NOT. My collection of wooden elephants that my grandfather got me overseas became the first fun target of attention. Oh, and all the pretty buttons on electronic media equipment are so fun to push. The porcelain teapot on the bottom shelf, of course, just had to be touched. Then when all breakables were finally put up out of reach, those stairs...ohhhhh those stairs were there just asking to be climbed. And I will never understand what draws kids toward electrical sockets. Their tiny holes are like magnets for little fingers!

Seriously, when I invited my friends over to hang out, I never once thought about any of those things! Apparently I'm a touch inexperienced. haha!  And in my friend's defense, she really handled her daughter's curious fingers so amazingly well. She disciplined out of love, and she said "no" to protect her daughter from harm. I loved watching her parenting skills in action. I have so much to learn, and I'm so glad I have great examples all around me!

It's surprising how many things there are in our own lives that we've lived with for so long that we just start to overlook them. We get comfortable in our routine. We don't even realize it when we have things that need to be cleaned up in our hearts. And if we actually do recognize that there's mess, we're the only ones who see it. We can justify it. We can sweep it under the rug. And no one is the wiser. That is...until you bring a friend into the mix. Someone to hold you accountable. Someone who will point out those areas in your life that are fragile. That are dangerous. That need to be cleaned up. That really should be off limits.

We're all a work in progress.
We can all tend to be blind to our own deficiencies.
We all need a wake up call from time to time.
We're all in need of a little child proofing in our lives.

I have so much to learn, so I love surrounding myself with friends who are great examples of God's grace, love, mercy, and truth. Friends who will hold me accountable. Friends who will not only point out my weaknesses, but will, in turn, help me child proof my heart. And I love planting God's Word within my mind. Setting it like a seal over my soul. Because it's for my good. It's for my own protection.

Proverbs 4
Listen, my sons, to a father’s instruction;
pay attention and gain understanding.

When I was a boy in my father’s house,
still tender, and an only child of my mother,
he taught me and said,
“Lay hold of my words with all your heart;
keep my commands and you will live.
Get wisdom, get understanding;
do not forget my words or swerve from them.
Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you;
love her, and she will watch over you.
Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom.
Though it cost all you have, get understanding.

Hold on to instruction, do not let it go;
guard it well, for it is your life.
Do not set foot on the path of the wicked
or walk in the way of evil men.
Avoid it, do not travel on it;
turn from it and go on your way.

The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn,
shining ever brighter till the full light of day.
But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness;
they do not know what makes them stumble.

Above all else, guard your heart,
for it is the wellspring of life.