When It Becomes Real...

To sit within the isolation of I'm the only one is oppressive.
To feel the burden of I'm the only one is overwhelming.
To live life believing I'm the only one is a bleak and lonely existence.

But when we're willing to let down our guard
...that's when it becomes real.

When we invite someone into that partitioned inner sanctum of our soul
...that's when it becomes real.

When we reveal that sacred hidden place we can't let anyone see
...that's when it becomes real.

When we uncover the dirt we've tried so hard to beautify
...that's when it becomes real.

When we openly shed tears of grief and pour out our true heart's cry
...that's when it becomes real.

Friendship becomes real, and subsequently, I'm the only one loses its debilitating grip.

Together brings an instant sense of relief and peace. Friendships like no other form out of shared anguish and are bound as battles are fought together side by side. We aren't alone in our struggles. In our fears. Our hurts. Our worries. In our past mistakes.

When we're tempted to listen to the lie of I'm the only one, I pray that we remember the reality found through true friendships. And even when our earthly friendships fall short, I pray that we remember that our faithful Father will never fail us. We are never, ever alone...

The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” 

I Hate Cats

Ideas are being tossed around with my former college roommate about potentially living together again in the future. Sounds great, right?!

I love my college roommate.
My college roommate loves me (or so I like to think...haha).
So far, so good.

My college roommate loves to cook.
I love to eat.
Brilliant arrangement!

My college roommate loves to shop, watch movies, and be cultured.
I love all of the above as well.
This couldn't be more perfect!!

My college roommate loves her cats.
I HATE CATS!
Shoot.
Dilemma.

Yes. I said it.
Yes. I mean it.
I am not a fan of cats whatsoever. I think it's mostly the shedding part, to be completely honest. Ugh...I feel like I'm choking on a hairball just thinking about them. Nice mental image, I know. Ohhhh, I can hear it in my head now too. ;-)

In addition to the shedding and their overtly self-absorbed temperamental attitudes, there are multiple other reasons to dislike cats...as demonstrated by the following:

Cats disturb sleep and mangle your face!

Cats destroy furniture and force feed you insects!

Cats interrupt important TV viewing, and I swear they're trying take over the world!

Cats completely obliterate all your hard work! It's a conspiracy!!

Cats even ruin Christmas!!

And that right there is more than reason enough to hate them! :)

And so, now the question remains:
Which has more clout?? My love for my college roommate or my hatred of cats?? 
Hmmmm... I guess time will tell.  :)

Road Trip Drama

You really get to know someone when you're stuck in a car together for 12 hours on a road trip. Granted, most of the time it's always more entertaining and fun to have someone driving with you, but sometimes...well...did I mention that you're STUCK in a car together?!

On my most recent road trip south to Atlanta there was a lot of random silence for some reason. Typically a TON of talking makes time pass quickly, but on the trip down it seemed like we just didn't have much to chat about?? Really weird. (perhaps part of it was that someone was playing angry birds on my iPhone for two hours straight, but nahhhh...it couldn't be that...haha) Let's just say I spent a lot of time listening to music while I drove. If you had asked me at the time, I seriously wouldn't have been able to tell you if I was singing, humming, or whistling with the music along the way or not. I swear I do it unconsciously! It just comes out!

Of course, I learned later in the week that apparently the answer should have been fairly obvious...
The grand culmination: sitting at a stand still waiting to get out of the arena parking lot after our last session of the conference was over. There was a lot to process, so we sat in my car without talking for at least a half hour with Hillsong playing in the background.

Then came the question: Can you ever just listen to music without humming along?

Crap. I'm thinking: Well, if you ask it like that, then I'm guessing it's a pretty rhetorical question, isn't it?

Haha...oh, to be a fly on the wall that day!! Here's how I envision parts of our trip may have looked:

Aaaaahahahahaha!!! Ok, ok...perhaps that's just a touch overly dramatic. Or is it?!  haha! (don't hurt me, Lulu!)

I will say that the trip back north was the exact opposite. It was filled with phenomenal conversation, complete with both crying and laughter. AND there was even exhuberant singing and car dancing with complete participation from all occupants of the vehicle! Now THAT's more like it. And therefore, I have qualified it as one of the GREATEST road trips EVER. :-)

Child Proof

I've owned my home for...well, let me think...  Wow.  It will be 10 years in December.  Oh my word.  I must be getting old. ;-) 

I've made changes here and there. I've painted. I've slowly pulled together coordinating pictures and accent pieces over the years. But for the most part, the main large pieces of furniture have remained the same. Let's just say that when you live somewhere for that long by yourself, there can be a tendency to get used to the way things are. And if you're like me (God help you if you are...haha), you can walk through your every day routine without even thinking, because everything has a specific spot, and it will most certainly be right where you left it when you go to reach for it the next time.  There's also a tendency to not even notice particular items and totally overlook them, because that's just where they've always been. That is...until you bring a child into the picture.

A few weeks ago, I was finally able to hang out with some dear friends that I don't get to see nearly enough, and they brought their precious wee ones with them to my house for the afternoon. Granted, one of them is still a baby, and he could do no more harm than to drool on my carpet. :-) But the same cannot be said of the sweetest one year old toddler girl I know. She really was so good, but everyone gets a little naughty when they're way overdue for a nap, right? And it was that afternoon when I realized how child proof my house is NOT. My collection of wooden elephants that my grandfather got me overseas became the first fun target of attention. Oh, and all the pretty buttons on electronic media equipment are so fun to push. The porcelain teapot on the bottom shelf, of course, just had to be touched. Then when all breakables were finally put up out of reach, those stairs...ohhhhh those stairs were there just asking to be climbed. And I will never understand what draws kids toward electrical sockets. Their tiny holes are like magnets for little fingers!

Seriously, when I invited my friends over to hang out, I never once thought about any of those things! Apparently I'm a touch inexperienced. haha!  And in my friend's defense, she really handled her daughter's curious fingers so amazingly well. She disciplined out of love, and she said "no" to protect her daughter from harm. I loved watching her parenting skills in action. I have so much to learn, and I'm so glad I have great examples all around me!

It's surprising how many things there are in our own lives that we've lived with for so long that we just start to overlook them. We get comfortable in our routine. We don't even realize it when we have things that need to be cleaned up in our hearts. And if we actually do recognize that there's mess, we're the only ones who see it. We can justify it. We can sweep it under the rug. And no one is the wiser. That is...until you bring a friend into the mix. Someone to hold you accountable. Someone who will point out those areas in your life that are fragile. That are dangerous. That need to be cleaned up. That really should be off limits.

We're all a work in progress.
We can all tend to be blind to our own deficiencies.
We all need a wake up call from time to time.
We're all in need of a little child proofing in our lives.

I have so much to learn, so I love surrounding myself with friends who are great examples of God's grace, love, mercy, and truth. Friends who will hold me accountable. Friends who will not only point out my weaknesses, but will, in turn, help me child proof my heart. And I love planting God's Word within my mind. Setting it like a seal over my soul. Because it's for my good. It's for my own protection.

Proverbs 4
Listen, my sons, to a father’s instruction;
pay attention and gain understanding.

When I was a boy in my father’s house,
still tender, and an only child of my mother,
he taught me and said,
“Lay hold of my words with all your heart;
keep my commands and you will live.
Get wisdom, get understanding;
do not forget my words or swerve from them.
Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you;
love her, and she will watch over you.
Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom.
Though it cost all you have, get understanding.

Hold on to instruction, do not let it go;
guard it well, for it is your life.
Do not set foot on the path of the wicked
or walk in the way of evil men.
Avoid it, do not travel on it;
turn from it and go on your way.

The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn,
shining ever brighter till the full light of day.
But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness;
they do not know what makes them stumble.

Above all else, guard your heart,
for it is the wellspring of life. 

Unveiled

Victory Church has witnessed incredible life changing growth within individuals who have participated in their men's mentoring ministry, Men of Iron, they started a few years ago.  It has also served to highlight even more that there's a desperate need within our society...
          ...for relationship.
          ...for accountability.
          ...to have a safe and trustworthy confidant.
          ...to be transparent and real.
          ...for discipleship.
          ...to know that someone truly cares.
          ...for strengthening God-centered spiritual foundations.
          ...for encouragement.
          ...to know that we don't have to walk through life's struggles alone.

Its success has now become a catalyst to begin branching out into other demographics.  And I'm so excited about the upcoming launch of Unveiled, the new women's mentoring ministry, that's starting up in September! 

In preparation for its launch, a mentor training meeting was held this last weekend.  Not only was I blown away by the hearts of the women who are heading up this ministry, but I was overwhelmed and literally brought to tears by the passion and heart of each woman who will be stepping up to give of themselves and their time to be mentors.

As an introduction, we were all supposed to say our name and tell everyone a "fun fact" about ourselves, but what actually ended up happening was so much better than what was originally intended. One by one, each woman stood up and shared their excitement over this ministry. And as we went around the room, it was incredible how many similar sentiments were being expressed among the group.

As each woman shared their heart, it quickly became apparent that many of us on some level had at some point felt inadequate to fill this role.  There were thoughts of: I'm not trained for this.  I won't know what to say.  What do I have to offer?  What if I don't know the right answers?  But the amazing thing is that God has made it very clear that we don't need to have all the right answers.  We just need to be available.  We just need to listen.  We just need to be Jesus in the flesh.  It sounds so simple, but in my own life, I've found no greater comfort than hearing from someone who cares and being encouraged to trust that God is in control and loves me.

I also loved how many women shared how circumstances of their past, albeit painful and difficult, have served to not only help them grow as individuals and in their relationship with Christ, but they now recognize how God is able to turn those trials around to be used to help others.  I've seen it time after time.  As we're willing to open up and share, God turns those past hurts into a tool to help heal others.  We all have imperfections.  We've all done things we're not proud of.  We've all had to face hard situations in life.  And, if we're willing to be transparent and real, God uses all of those trials to make us better equipped to take someone else under our wing and walk through life with them. He makes us better equipped to empathize.  He makes us better equipped to know how to uphold them in prayer.  He makes us better equipped to guide them toward Christ and His loving arms.

As the ministry's mission states:  Empowered by the Spirit, we desire to mentor women in the Word of God so that they experience a transformation of heart, mind, and lifestyle. It's my prayer that as each woman involved in this ministry offers up her time and her heart, we would all be woven into more beautiful women of God. 

All of us are looking with unveiled faces at the glory of the Lord as if we were looking in a mirror.  We are being transformed into that same image.

A Little Help

Did you ever have one of those days when you feel like you just don't have the energy or the strength to keep pushing forward.  When life has worn you out, and while you really want to stay positive, you just don't know if you can keep fighting.  When that same old hurt, failure, or disappointment rears its ugly head yet again, even though you thought you had surrendered it to God a long time ago.  When you know God's leading you right where He wants you to be, and yet you still have to hurdle so many obstacles along the way.  You're just tired.  And despite all your determination, you can't do it alone.  You need a little help.

In Exodus 17, the Israelites are making their way out of Egypt toward the Promised Land when they get attacked.  So Moses tells Joshua to take some men and fight.  Moses stood at the top of the hill with the staff of God in his hands, while they were fighting.  As long as Moses held up his hands, they would win, but as soon as he would lower them, the tide would turn.

Moses knew that God had called him to lead the Israelites.  He knew that God was taking them to the Promised Land.  Moses knew he was exactly where God had called him to be.  Moses also knew that by surrendering this battle to God, God would win it for them.  It was proven that God was fighting for them as long as Moses kept the staff of God raised.  But Moses was tired. And despite all of his determination, he couldn't do it alone.  He needed a little help.  And that's why I love Exodus 17:12 so much. 

When Moses' hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset.

I don't believe we were meant to do life alone.  I don't believe we're meant to face trials and fight battles alone.  Yes, we need to work on building our relationship with Christ, and leaning hard into Him first and foremost, but I also believe that we need to surround ourselves with a few good friends as well.  We all need a support system.  We all need people in our lives who will come along side of us and encourage us.  We all need friends who will recognize our weak areas and help us remain steady when we're faltering.  We all need accountability.  We all need people who will rally around us and help us fight through the difficult times we will inevitably face along the way.

I'm so thankful that God's brought people into my life that have helped me in so many ways.  I have friends who love me no matter what and are a great encouragement, and I have friends who truly understand some of my deepest unmet desires and can empathize right along with me.  I have friends that will call me out when I'm wandering off track and hold me accountable to making sure I'm pursuing God's will over my own.  I have friends who I've walked with through some really rough times, who have experienced similar hard decisions, and who have been through hell and back with me. 

I think the common denominator among all of my closest friends is centered around the fact that they all love God, and we all mutually spur one another on to become more like Christ.  And I love that when we feel tired and just can't go on, God gives us friends to lift us up and help us win the battles we face in life.  God provides a little help through our friends.

BEACH!!!

It's officially that time of the year again!!!  BEACH SEASON!!!  Woo Hoo!!!

Every summer for the last several years, I've had the incredible privilege to escape from reality for a few days and head off to the beach somewhere with some wonderful friends.  We tend to try new locations every year just to mix it up a little, and the people in the group sometimes change slightly from year to year, but we always end up having a blast!

This year it's just me and one other friend.  We sadly had to leave behind another friend who would love to be here, but the new baby takes priority...as he should.  BUT...the summer isn't over yet (hint, hint), and there will be many more summers to come.  I've come to dearly love our annual beach outings, and I dearly love my wonderful friends who share these trips with me!

We're back in Cape May this year, and this is our view today!!

It's ok...you can be a little jealous.  I would be too.  :-)

Here's a little celebration of the great times I've had with my awesome friends in past summers:

Cape May, NJ 2007

First sporadic trip with Laura and Laurie

Cape May, NJ 2008

Visiting the lighthouse again, but with Jen, Rachel, and Laurie

There's ALWAYS eating involved on vacations!!

Lewes, DE 2009

See...what did I tell you about eating?!  :-) 
Rachel, Jen, and Laurie two years in a row!

Rachel had to head home a day early, but I had to prove
that we actually DO go to the beach at some point.


 

Chincoteague, VA 2010

Seeeeee...BEACH!
This time Jen and I mixed it up with Linda!



And yes, we are now, of course, preparing to head out to eat...

Just Saying Hello...

I've been noticing recently that the typical traditional "handshake" that I used to receive as a greeting, at church in particular, seems to be morphing into something a little less formal.  I'm wondering if it's just a passing phase within our society in general or if it's limited to the new group of people I'm getting to know?  Granted, the handshake is still used, but I'm finding other greetings seem to be more prevalent.

First of all, I've never greeted with so many hugs in my life.  I don't know why it seemed foreign to me initially.  Not uncomfortable necessarily.  I just don't think I was used to it...well, not THAT much hugging from THAT many people at least.  I started getting greeted by hugs from people I hardly knew.  I'd go to shake their hand, and I'd find myself getting pulled in for more.  I started realizing how much it made me feel welcomed and how quickly it made me feel like family.  Haha...kind of like this...

The other phenomenon I've noticed is how many high fives I get when I walk into church.  They're always offered with enthusiasm, and I find it funny how they come in many multiple forms.  There's the high five up high...sometimes issued with a slight spring in your step.  There's the parallel hand slap that turns into a handshake and sometimes morphs into a half hug.  And there's the increasingly popular fist bump issued with the directive to "pound it!".  With all these different variations, I thought it might be valuable to share some helpful tips and lessons on high five etiquette for those of you who aren't quite up to speed on this greeting style.  :-)

No matter what form it might be in, I'm coming to realize how important it really is to communicate a welcoming and friendly atmosphere at church especially.  As is true in most areas of life, first impressions are critical.  People can be so easily turned off by cold, sterile, unfriendly, and unwelcoming attitudes.  We all need to work at it...not just the "greeters" at the front door.  So offer a smile.  Shake a hand.  Give a hug.  Jump up, high five, and throw in a chest bump.  I don't care how you do it.   For goodness sakes, just say hello!

Accountable

Yikes.  Accountability.  That's a scary word.

You want me to actually own up to things that I'm doing?  You want me to answer to someone and be held responsible?  You want me to follow through and do things that are good for me even when they feel like "work"?  You want me to be honest, share those tainted places I tend to keep hidden in my heart, open up, and actually be real?  You want me to be honest about my mistakes and my failures?  Whoa.

Actually, I'm starting to look at it differently.

I've found that the more I've made following Christ a priority in my life, the more I actually WANT someone to speak into my life and hold me accountable.  That's kind of crazy, I know.  But it's so much easier to grow and mature in Him when you have someone to walk with you on your journey. 

Without accountability there is no motivation for change. ~Pastor Curt

I have a couple of people in my life that I totally trust with everything that goes on in my life.  And it's not because they're going to sugar coat their responses and tell me what I want to hear.  It's because they're going to be honest and upfront with me and call me out when I'm off track.  They're not going to let me get away with things that aren't God-honoring.  They're not going to stand by idle and not speak up when they see something in my life that's harmful.  They're not going allow me to become apathetic about my walk with Christ.

I am so thankful to know people that love me THAT much.  Honestly, it's actually pretty liberating.  I know I don't have to do this on my own.  I don't have to hide and deal with trials or carry burdens alone. 

So find someone you trust.  Let them in.  Hold each other accountable.  It's really ultimately for your good, and in the end, you won't regret it.   

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no on to help him up!

Lifetime Kind of Love

I love seeing marriages flourish.  I love seeing those good ones where you can just tell that there is mutual love and respect.  Sadly, it seems like they are getting harder and harder to find these days, but I know they're still out there.  I've witnessed several of them first hand, and I get so excited when I see how abundantly God has blessed these couples for their love and faithfulness to each other. 

It makes my heart melt to see little old couples who are still in love after decades of being together.  The ones who aren't just "putting up with each other", but the ones who know each other so well and are still celebrating each other...and genuinely actually still LIKE each other.   

I know it's animated, but this scene from "UP" always makes me cry...

Answered Prayer

I think we all have some prayers that we've been praying for a VERY. LONG. TIME.  There are those things that you truly believe God has placed in your heart.  You keep trusting that He will indeed answer, but you certainly can't see how He will do it based on your current circumstances.

I've been praying alongside of a friend for literally years now for God to come through on some major life direction and some God given dreams.  I've worked on being a voice of encouragement.  I've tried to instill hope.  I've attempted to be a reality check and constantly be a reminder that "things take time".  Honestly though, there were times when I wasn't sure that I fully believed.  I wasn't sure I totally had hope.  I couldn't see the means to the end either.  It wasn't my personal trial, but I found that I was getting discouraged, too.  But God has a way of stepping in right when we feel like giving up.  I've seen Him move in amazing ways time after time in my friend's life...right when it was most vital.

It's crazy how God works.  Actually, it's downright amazing, overwhelming, and even a little bit surreal.  After years of praying, I've seen the heavens open up over the last couple of weeks and literally rain down blessings on my friend's life.   Let me tell you, when God decides to move, you better be ready to move with Him...and fast.  A series of events have started recently that just keep coming one right after the other...and God's hand has been all over it.  There were things that happened over the last couple of years that didn't make any sense whatsoever in the moment, but looking back...God's genius plan is so evident.  And while there are still some uncertainties that have yet to play out, I am so entirely astounded how God has been orchestrating every single detail this entire time.

It may take a seemingly LONG time, and it might be a crazy journey, but I love when God completely blows you away with answers to prayer!! I am SO flippin' excited to see how He will continue to work.  God is AWESOME; His way is always BEST; and His timing is always PERFECT!!

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Full

I don't typically get REAL food...meaning, good home cooked meals that actually take time and love to prepare.  But Sunday was Easter.  And Easter typically means a big family meal.  I don't have family close by to celebrate with, but it always seems like someone in my church family steps up and invites me to be a part of their family for the day.  This year was no different. 

Can I just say how much I love people who have made an effort to be aware of the situations and needs of others around them?  Not because I've been on the receiving end of their hospitality (although, I am truly grateful), but because they are such an example to me of generosity, and they inspire me to extend similar graciousness to others.  I love how each and every year, I've been made to feel like I am a part of each of these families that I've had the privilege of sharing Easter with.  I love the amazing food they've all prepared, the laughter, seeing the crazy inner circle of loving families, and celebrating the holiday with incredible godly people.  I am so full.  Full to overflowing.  Not just with food (trust me, I NEVER walk away hungry), but mostly full with that warm fuzzy feeling of good quality community I have within my church family.

I love celebrating Easter with my church family.  But Easter is so much more than a meal.  There is such an excitement that surrounds the day.  It's a day to focus on what Christ has done for us even though we could never do anything to deserve it.  But more than that, I am full to overflowing with joy because it isn't limited to just one holiday.  We can celebrate Christ's loving sacrifice EVERY day.  And I'm so thankful that I can gather with my church family to celebrate Jesus EVERY week.  Easter is all about Christ and the sacrifice He made for us.  But it isn't only about the fact that He was beaten and bruised, that He willing laid down His life, and that He died for us.  It doesn't end there.  That's where it begins!!

After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb.  There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it. The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified.  He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples: ‘He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.’ Now I have told you.” So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples.

The women who saw the empty tomb were full to overflowing...filled with joy!!  Christ has risen!!  And two thousand years later, I, too, am full!!  Filled to overflowing.  Filled with joy!!  Because my Redeemer lives!  Christ is risen, indeed!!  And because He lives, my life is purposeful, joyful, meaningful, and just plain FULL!!

So Blessed

I've truly been blessed with some of the best friends anyone could ever want.  Friends you can share anything with, and they'll still love you when you're done.  Friends you can be completely real around.  Transparent.  Raw.  Genuine.  And even when your life stages or localities change, you know that your friendship will never change.  They're still there for you no matter what. 

I've been contemplating how we made that initial connection.  How we've gotten to know each other.  How somewhere along the way we crossed the line from being mere "acquaintances" to being trusted, true friends.  I don't know how it happened exactly.  I think sometimes God just flat out blesses us.  I do know that there were specific times when we decided to break down those inner walls that nobody really knows are even there until you get close enough and care enough to see them.  And to find people you can trust enough to let them into the inner circle...that just doesn't happen very often.

It's easy to take people for granted.  It's easy to forget how important it is to invest in the lives of the ones you love.  It's easy to get busy and let schedules get the best of you.  It's easy to lose touch and let the really good ones slip away.  It's easy to forget to celebrate your friendships and fail to share your gratitude for them.

So thank you, God, for blessing me with these incredible friends of mine!!  

I had the privilege to spend some good quality time with two of these friends yesterday.  It's crazy how life has changed so drastically within the last year.  They both have wee ones to care for now.  But I absolutely love having the privilege of being a part of their lives...and now their children's lives.  Like I said, life stages have changed, but that deep rooted friendship remains intact.  So I want to say thank you.  Thank you for everything you've done for me.  Thank you for every time you've been there for me.  Thank you for the fun we've had and the crazy antics.  Thank you for the tears we've shed and for the heartaches you've helped me through.  Thank you just for being there to listen and to care.  And thank you most of all for encouraging me to follow hard after God and be a better me.  You are greatly loved!!

Transparency

I love the freedom that comes along with transparency.  The ability to be open.  To be REAL with people.  To share my heart.  To share life with the people around me and not live behind a facade.  To connect and get beyond the surface niceties.
 
I'm a people pleaser.  I want everyone to be happy, and deep down, I just want everyone to like me.  So I can understand some of the fears that can be associated with dropping our walls.  There's a fear that people will see our imperfections, and maybe they won't like what they see...maybe they won't like ME.  There's a fear that people will see our ugliness and walk away in disgust. 

Rejection.  That hurts.

But I've come to learn that it's only when you take that chance...when you let down your guard...when you start being yourself...that's when real relationships start to grow.  And it is so worth the risk.  Sure, not everyone will reciprocate in kind.  And there is wisdom in being cautious to not reveal everything to everybody you meet.  But nothing compares to finding a few genuine friends with whom you can share the depths of your heart.  I would rather have a friend who truly knows me, truly cares, and truly understands speak into my life about issues I need to deal with, than to walk around disconnected either thinking I've got my act together or the other extreme: thinking I'll never measure up.

We've all experienced dirt in our lives in one way or another.  Trials.  Hurt.  Disappointments.  Confusion.  Anxiety.  Heartache.  We've messed up.  We've failed.  But I believe that when we give that dirt over to God, He redeems.  He forgives.  He restores.  I don't believe that it ends there though.  I believe that there's a greater purpose.  We can learn to turn that around to others and extend the same grace that God has extended to us.  We can come alongside others to help point them to God's truth.  We can walk beside them and empathize and truly understand because we've been there ourselves.  I believe that's one of the main points in all of it.

An open rebuke is better than hidden love!  Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.
The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.

That sweet freedom comes when we can share the dirt and know that our friends aren't there to judge.  They are there to extend truth in grace.  Often times we will find that they, too, have been where we're at.  And that is the ultimate power of transparency. 

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.  A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer.