Waiting...with expectation

Do we really trust that God is big enough to answer our prayers?  Do we believe He cares enough to listen?  Do we flippantly throw up requests out of desperation without really trusting that He will ever answer us?  Do we put God in a box and put limits on His power just because we can't see an end to this seemingly endless season of wait?  In the middle of waiting, it's pretty easy to lose hope.  It's easy to start going through the motions.  It's easy to give up.

I believe that God is bigger than any situation we could possibly face.  I believe that He not only listens to our cries, but He also loves us enough to answer.  Just because we don't think we see His answer right away, doesn't mean that He's not working behind the scenes.  His timing is always perfect...even when it doesn't fit into our preferred timeframe.  And He always knows what is best for you and is working everything for your good...even when it seems like you're going through hell on earth.  So with this in mind, I've started to turn a mental corner.  I've begun to find that my seasons of waiting are turning into seasons of expectancy.

In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.

As I've started trying to turn my focus off of ME, God has opened up my eyes to some amazing blessings that He's been bringing into my life all along the way.  But, sadly, there are times when I'm too stuck on what I think I want or too bogged down in my pain, and I fail to realize that God's been abundantly providing for my needs every step of the way.  Why do we insist on clinging to our puny, tarnished, me-sized dreams, goals, and plans?  Why would we want to settle for anything less than God's best for our life?  Why are we afraid of giving up control?  If we'll only loosen our grip and surrender them to God, we'll find that He has incredible, GOD-sized plans for our lives that He longs to lavish on us.   

Compared to the plans of the Creator of the universe, your plans SUCK!  God has more in store for your life than you can possibly imagine.
--Perry Noble

I'm starting to see waiting as an incredible opportunity to step back and watch for God's hand.  I've found that when I am actively looking for God's fingerprints in my life, there's an anticipation...an excitement in the wait.  I believe there's a reason for our seasons of waiting.  I'm seeing over and over that if we will trust Him and follow His leading every step of the way, God uses our most painful and most uncertain times to bring us closer to Him.  To change us for the better.  To grow our faith.  To make us stronger.  To prepare us for a greater purpose.  Every challenge, every hurdle, every trial, every heartache...we can trust God.  He is working.  The wait isn't all for "nothing".  Morning always comes even after the darkest of nights.  So wait in expectation for His dawn.      

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Waiting...in contentment

Waiting is hard enough, and now you want me to WHAT?  Not get impatient?  Not die a little inside each time someone else receives the blessing that I've been longing for?  ...and then actually be happy for them?  Not wonder, "when is it my turn"?  Actually be joyful in my current circumstances?  Not worry or get anxious?  Be CONTENT?

Contentment.  There are times when I hate that word.  I'm sorry.  I do.  There are times when painful situations or deep rooted desires are so intense and so overwhelming, that if one more person tells me that it "could be worse" or "this too shall pass", I just might scream.  And sometimes I'm just so wrapped up in that one thing that I want to change or that I think I need, I can't see outside of that self-absorbed bubble called ME.

Pity parties.  I'm good at them.

And then God got a hold of me.  I'm not totally sure how it happened.  I do know that I started making a concentrated effort to invest a whole lot more time into Him.  That's key.  I'm sure of it.  All I know is that the more I know God, the more I trust Him.  I'm tired of worrying or getting frustrated or upset over things that I can't control.  What's the point?  It only makes the wait worse.  I can't control circumstances.  I can't control other people.  I've come to realize that I can only do something about my personal response, my actions, and what I'm doing about today.  So if I know I'm following God step by step along the way, I need to trust that He will take care of the rest.

Paul certainly had a right to complain.  He was beaten, imprisoned, persecuted.  And yet in Philippians, he wrote:

...for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

There it is: "through Him who gives me strength".  Trusting a God Who is so much bigger than any problem that we might be waiting for an answer to.  He already knows the future.  He's got it under control.  And if we look to Him, He will give us strength to make it through. 

I don't know when the peace and contentment settled in, but it did...somewhere along the way...it DID.  Sure, I still struggle.  I have big dreams, and I have no clue if they'll pan out.  I have desires that I genuinely believe God has planted in my heart, and right now I can't see how they will ever be fulfilled.  But I'm trusting that the more I get to know God, the more my heart will align with His.  I'm trusting that if God has given me those dreams and desires, then He's not going to abandon them.  And if God has another plan for my life, then I'm trusting that He will reveal that to me in His good timing, and my heart's desire will find peace in knowing it's from Him.  I'm trusting that this waiting is all part of His plan for my life, and I need to embrace the wait, learn from it, and glean as much as I can from it along the way.  I'm trusting that He has it all worked out for my best.  I know I'm making it sound so much easier than it is, but I'm telling you...TRUST HIM.  Surrender to Him.  Lay it at His feet.  It's the only real solution.

I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.

Waiting...

It feels like I've been doing a lot of waiting on some major issues recently.
Actually, I take it back.  I think I've been waiting all my life.  Maybe not always for significant things, but waiting for something.  Something BIG to happen.  Always looking forward to someday.
 
Waiting can sometimes seem slightly more bearable when there's a definite timeframe attached to it.  You know...like waiting 4 years to graduate from college, waiting 9 months for that first little bundle of joy, or even waiting for Christmas morning.  There's a sense of anticipation...a set date to look forward to...something to put concretely on the calendar...to circle.  And then the waiting ends.  And there is much rejoicing! 
Well, at least THAT segment of waiting has ended. 

But what about those times (some of them painful, scary, and/or heartbreaking) when you really have no clue how long you will have to wait? 

• Collecting unemployment; searching incessantly for a job; and nothing is out there. 
• Laying in the hospital; praying for healing; and the test results aren't showing any change.
• Feeling very alone; desiring to share life with someone; and there honestly aren't any viable prospects anywhere on the radar.
• Recognizing God given gifts; wanting to be used; feeling a greater God-sized calling in your life; but struggling to find that niche.

I've come to realize that life is a never ending cycle of wait.  When one wait is over, another wait begins.  Sometimes multiple seasons of wait happen simultaneously.  But maybe instead of getting all wrapped up in the wait, maybe we can focus on another perspective?

I get it.
I've been there.
Wait a minute.  What am I saying?!  I'm STILL there!! 
I'll never fully "arrive", but there are some things that I'm learning to cling to along the way.
I'll share soon enough.  But you'll have to wait...

I know.  That was cruel. 
So I'll leave you with these verses from the book of Psalms and Hebrews that have been SO encouraging to me:

Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised.

Enthusiasm

So here's this kid.  He's got some incredible talent. (and apparently he has an itchy nose too...haha) 

What I love the most is his ENTHUSIASM!!  He's feeling Beethoven all the way down to his toes!  And I love the beaming smile that erupts out of his serious concentration...it's infectious!

 
When was the last time you invested your whole being into something?  When was the last time you threw yourself wholeheartedly into serving?  Worshiping?  Loving?  Giving?  When was the last time you put so much effort into something, that at the end of it all, you fell down in joyful exhaustion?  When was the last time you were so enthusiastic about God and your relationship with Him that it was literally infectious??

Goodbyes

Saying goodbye is never easy.  Saying goodbye to people you love, care about, and respect is even harder.

I've had the privilege of sitting under an incredible pastor and teacher the last several years.  He loves Jesus, and he is passionate about sharing Christ with people.  God has gifted him with an amazing ability to communicate, and He's given him a vision to spread the gospel by meeting people where they're at and moving them to where God wants them to be.  I've seen God use him for His purposes and His glory.  God has used him in my own life.  I've grown in my walk with Christ.  I've been challenged by him.  I've been encouraged.

I've also had the privilege of serving with and being mentored by his wife: a wonderful godly woman who oozes Jesus from every pore.  She is a beautiful example of grace and loving kindness.  I've known her heart to reach out in empathy, and I've known her to speak the hard truth in love.  I've been touched deeply by her giving spirit.  She's recognized God's gifts in me before I've even realized them myself.  God has used her in my life.  I've grown in my walk with Christ.  I've been challenged by her.  I've been encouraged.

So I want to say thank you.  Thank you for investing in the church, in the community, and in my life in particular. You've been a gift, a blessing, and an amazing source of wisdom and encouragement in my life.  Thank you for being an incredible example of godly character. You've been transparent, raw, and honest, and also gracious and loving.  I'm so thankful to have had the privilege of knowing you and serving with you in an effort to help people move closer to Christ.

You are leaving today.  But know that you are loved.  And you will be greatly missed.

Change is hard...and even moreso when it is born out of pain.  But God works everything for our good.  I believe this with every fiber of my being.

Romans 8:28
Genesis 50:20

Green

Whoa.  Where did that come from?  I got hit square between the eyes the other day by the green-eyed monster.  It came out of nowhere.  Like a predator stalking its prey.  Apparently it's been lurking in the shadows.  I didn't know it was even there until it struck.

There was something I really wanted to do, but I wasn't able to.  Ok, that's just the way it goes, right?  No big deal.  I understand that I can't have it all.  Can't do it all.  Can't be everywhere I want to be.  It just doesn't always work out.  But then I caught wind that someone else got to do what I had wanted to do?!  Like I said...whoa. 

I was immediately aware of the burning.  What do you do when feel those fires build inside you?  Too many times we probably vent the steam, and it feels better, right?  But the fire still smolders unless we extinguish it.  And I've found that for me, that means dousing it in repentance and prayer.

So what does God have to say about jealousy?  Here's the irony...the majority of the verses in the Bible that contain jealous or jealousy talk about how God is a Jealous God.  Huh?  How is that possible?  Here I am thinking this is an issue I needed to deal with in my life, but God is jealous too?? 

Jealousy, in my case, stems from feelings of envy or resentment toward someone because of their success or advantages they had over me. 
But jealousy, in God's case, is a result of His intolerance of unfaithfulness or rilvary for affections that rightly belong to Him and no one else.  The first four of the ten commandments speak directly to the fact that God wants and deserves our attention. 

“You shall have no other gods before me.  You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below.  You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God..."

I think a lot of times jealousy simply comes down to one word:  entitlement.  And that's where the difference lies.  We get envious and angry because we think we're privileged.  We think we deserve special treatment.  We think we have certain rights because of our status, our relationships with different people, or our abilities.  But really?  Who do we think we are??  God?!

God is the only One who has a right to be jealous, because He is the only One who truly deserves the merit, the attention, the adoration, the affection, the recognition, the priority, the honor, glory, and praise!!  For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen.

Sunday's Excitement

I look forward to Sunday.  Sure, the Sunday afternoon naps are great, and there's usually a whole lot of relaxing going on before the work week hits again.  But that's not what gets me excited about Sundays.

Honestly, I think I fell off the horse for a bit.  I lost that "excitement".  There were several factors that played into that, but the one major key component came down to the fact that I wasn't plugged in and serving anywhere.  I didn't know where I "fit".  Walking in and taking up space is pretty much worthless.  Yeah, you might be getting fed, but are you just sitting in your pew getting "fat"?  What's the point if you're not going to turn around and put it into practice and exercise what you've learned by giving it back?  These last couple of weeks have been so much different for me though.  And this past Sunday was especially great. 

There's just something about getting up in the morning to do something purposeful.  Eternally purposeful.
There's something about meeting with people who care about other people.
There's something about worshiping our great God with His children...my family.
There's something about serving side by side with other believers.
There's something about leading people into a more intimate relationship with our Savior.
There's just something about connecting people to Christ.

Victory Church is opening a satellite campus at our local Penn Cinema theater on April 3rd, and it's been so exciting to see how God has been working to pull people together...all in an effort to advance Christ.  It's been amazing to see the hearts of the church leaders and their transparency each step of the way.  It's been refreshing to connect with other volunteers and see a true desire to do anything that's asked of them...unselfishly...without ego.  Sure there are hiccups.  Nobody's perfect.  The technology used to pipe in a live feed of Pastor Curt's sermons is bound to have issues.  There are still bugs that need to be fixed in order to make everything run more smoothly.  But what stands out more than anything is the underlying heart and servant attitude of the church body who get up early every morning to make it all possible.

So stop taking up space.  Get up.  Serve.  Do something.  Let God use you...it's EXCITING!!

Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men

...whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all.  For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.

Goodbye Winter!!

Here's to celebrating the official beginning of the spring equinox this coming weekend AND the gorgeous weather we are having today!! 

And just because I find Calvin's snow creations HILARIOUS...here's one last final hurrah for winter:

Heart of Worship

Worship music resonates deep within my heart.  It touches my soul.  I can't help but be moved.  I can't help but sing along.  It's one of the major ways that I communicate with my Father.  I've sung my heart out to God with wild abandon.  Danced before Him in complete and utter joy.  Broken down and wept.  Been overwhelmed by His love.  Curled up in the lap of my Abba, Father.  Fallen at His feet.  Closed my eyes, raised my hands, and just worshipped Him.  And I can't help but beam!   

It's been a while since I've had the privilege to lead worship through music within a church setting.  I was ok with stepping back at first.  It's what I felt God was calling me to do.  To sit.  To be still.  Soaking.  Being fed.  Healing.  But that season of needing to just "be" didn't last very long.  An ache in my heart started surfacing...that void wasn't easy to ignore.

Along the way, I've recognized some dirt under the surface that needed to be dealt with.  I've had to process my motives.  I know leading worship is where my heart is at, and I know that God's given me gifts, and I know that He's given me some really amazing opportunities to combine both of those facets and be used in the past.  But there's this tendency toward an underlying struggle with humility and selfishness.  I wonder when I get frustrated...where is that coming from?  Do I think too highly of myself?  Who am I doing this for?  Is this about me, or is this truly all about God??  And the whole time I'm sitting here thinking...God, whatever you want.  I want to be open to His leading, and more than anything, I just want to make sure I'm doing everything for the right reasons.

This is not about me...not about being "Rockstar Amy" (as some beloved friends nicknamed me).  This is not about music.  This is not about preferences or performing or recognition.

Worship is about God and God alone.  This is about fixing our eyes on the Creator of all things.  Our Father.  Our Saviour.  Our Redeemer.  Jesus.  This is about giving Him all our praise and honor and adoration.  Returning thanks.  Lifting up His name above all others.

And so this week, I've had the opportunity to begin stepping down the road toward getting involved once again.  It's amazing how merely practicing and singing with a team of people has done my heart a world of good.  That ache is still there, but it's somehow turning the corner from being an aching void to an ache of excitement.  A longing to be used in other people's lives within that forum again.  An anticipation of fulfilling God's purposes.  A passion to help others connect with God in a more intimate way and on a deeper level.    

Psalm 100

Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth.  Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs.  Know that the Lord is God.  It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.  For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.

Transparency

I love the freedom that comes along with transparency.  The ability to be open.  To be REAL with people.  To share my heart.  To share life with the people around me and not live behind a facade.  To connect and get beyond the surface niceties.
 
I'm a people pleaser.  I want everyone to be happy, and deep down, I just want everyone to like me.  So I can understand some of the fears that can be associated with dropping our walls.  There's a fear that people will see our imperfections, and maybe they won't like what they see...maybe they won't like ME.  There's a fear that people will see our ugliness and walk away in disgust. 

Rejection.  That hurts.

But I've come to learn that it's only when you take that chance...when you let down your guard...when you start being yourself...that's when real relationships start to grow.  And it is so worth the risk.  Sure, not everyone will reciprocate in kind.  And there is wisdom in being cautious to not reveal everything to everybody you meet.  But nothing compares to finding a few genuine friends with whom you can share the depths of your heart.  I would rather have a friend who truly knows me, truly cares, and truly understands speak into my life about issues I need to deal with, than to walk around disconnected either thinking I've got my act together or the other extreme: thinking I'll never measure up.

We've all experienced dirt in our lives in one way or another.  Trials.  Hurt.  Disappointments.  Confusion.  Anxiety.  Heartache.  We've messed up.  We've failed.  But I believe that when we give that dirt over to God, He redeems.  He forgives.  He restores.  I don't believe that it ends there though.  I believe that there's a greater purpose.  We can learn to turn that around to others and extend the same grace that God has extended to us.  We can come alongside others to help point them to God's truth.  We can walk beside them and empathize and truly understand because we've been there ourselves.  I believe that's one of the main points in all of it.

An open rebuke is better than hidden love!  Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.
The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.

That sweet freedom comes when we can share the dirt and know that our friends aren't there to judge.  They are there to extend truth in grace.  Often times we will find that they, too, have been where we're at.  And that is the ultimate power of transparency. 

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.  A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer.

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

Talk about AMAZING...

There isn't a whole lot that compares to the miracle of a new little life being born into this world.  God knits together wonderfully precious things, wraps them in wee little packages, and breathes LIFE!

I'm gazing at him in amazement.  Witnessing God's incredible handiwork.

Ten little fingers.  Ten little toes.  Miniaturized in comparison to my own. 
Wee little fingernails.  Eyelashes.  A fuzzy, perfect little pea-sized head.
Bitty button nose.  Precious lips purse in consternation.
Whoops...and there it comes...the little "voice" whimpering.  Crying.  Needing what he can't provide for himself.
There...that's better.  Contended little sighs.  Sleepy little noises.  A tiny set of lungs breathing in life.

Then those little fingers wrap around one of my own. 

He's not mine, but I'm pretty sure he's going to be my little buddy...because his mommy is one of my dearest friends.

He. Is. Beautiful.  Absolutely beautiful.

Psalm 139:13-16

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.  When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.  All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

God, I thank You for the loving, thoughtful, caring creativity You've put into designing, molding, and making each and every one of us.  And I thank You for the gift and miracle of the LIFE.

Happy Dance

A couple of my friends and I talk about doing the Happy Dance.  The Happy Dance is only typically done to express extreme joy over outstandingly exciting things.  Like when we see God answer MAJOR prayers in our lives.  Or when some uber extraordinary event is on the schedule, and we're really looking forward to it.  [Granted, I've never actually seen any of us physically do an actual DANCE, but the expression lives on...]

I've been thinking though.  Why do we reserve the Happy Dance only for special occasions?  Will it become less "happy" if it gets overused?  Can one celebrate too much?  Is there such a thing as having too much excitement?  ...too much JOY?? 

In Philippians, Paul said to REJOICE IN THE LORD ALWAYS. 
Really??  Always?! 
What does that even look like?
Yes, there is a time and a season for everything, but Paul said to rejoice.  ALWAYS.
Right smack dab in the middle of the worst situation you could ever possibly find yourself in...REJOICE!  Right when you're feeling like you're bottoming out and won't ever be able to climb back out...do the Happy Dance! 

But how do you do that??  And WHY??  I can tell you, it's probably the last thing you feel like doing.  But you're not rejoicing over the pain or the trial or the heartache...you're rejoicing in the LORD. 

I think we often quote the verse that commands us to rejoice, and we stop.  Keep reading verses 5-7...

The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I think THAT is how we can rejoice.  Because God is with us.  He is near.  We don't have to worry about anything.  He has everything under control.  And as we rejoice in Him in the midst of our trials, and focus on Him instead of our pain, His peace will overwhelm our hearts even when we don't understand the "why" of the moment.

So try it.  Do the Happy Dance!  Rejoice in the Lord!  Always.

What about me?

John Ortberg is one of my favorite authors.  Ok, so I actually have quite a few "favorite authors", but it just so happens that I'm reading an Ortberg book at the moment.  The Life You've Always Wanted. 

There was a section that I read recently that hit me square in the face.  I'll just let him share it with you...

When I catch myself comparing with others or thinking, I could be happy if only I had what they have, then I know I need to withdraw for a while and listen for another voice.  Away from the winds, the earthquakes, and the fires of human recognition, I can hear again the still, small voice, posing the question it always asks of self-absorbed children:  "What are you doing here?"

Too often I reply to the voice by whining about some of my own Ahabs and Jezebels.  And the voice gently reminds me, as it has reminded thousands of Elijahs before me, that I am only a small part of a much larger movement and that at the end of the day there is only one King whose approval will matter:  "It is the Lord who judges me."

The voice also whispers, Do not despise your place, your gifts, or your voice, for you cannot have another's, and it would not fulfill you if you could.

Ouch.  I believe God has given all of us gifts, talents, passions, and abilities.  God will not waste the gifts He's given us, but often, we just need to stop balking at what we do not have or cannot do, get out of the way, and allow Him to use us.  When it all comes down to it, none of this is really about me anyway.

Glow

Did you ever wonder what it would be like to be in the presence of God?  How would it change you?

Exodus 33 tells of a time that Moses asked for that exact opportunity.  Moses asks to see God's glory...to be in His presence.  God speaks directly to Moses.  Moses encounters God.  And when he met God, he was visibly changed.  At the end of Exodus 34, Moses comes down from Mount Sinai, and his face was actually shining..."glowing".

I believe that we can experience the presence of God even today.  One way is through soaking in His Word...pouring over God's words that were written to speak directly to us.  Another significant way is through worship...to bow and worship Him with reverence and awe and adoration.  Both foster a meeting of our hearts with our Father's.  Focusing solely on Him.  Drawing close to Him.

Do we spend so much time with God that we literally shine from His presence?  Are we changed so much that people see God radiating through our lives?  Do we GLOW with the glory of God?

Song of my year...and beyond

Monday's Melody:

Every once in a while, God  touches my heart with an incredible song.  Actually, He touches my heart through music just about every day!  But this song is one I've come back to over and over again especially this last year or so.  God's love never fails.

Listen to it.

Let it sink in.

Let it wash over your heart.

God's love NEVER fails no matter what you might be going through.  No matter where you've been or what you've done.  He is faithful.  He is trustworthy.  He loves you!!  He makes all things work together for our GOOD!!



Verse 1:

Nothing can separate
Even if I ran away
Your love never fails
I know I still make mistakes
But You have new mercies for me everyday
Your love never fails

Chorus:
You stay the same through the ages
Your love never changes
There may be pain in the night but joy comes in the morning
And when the oceans rage
I don't have to be afraid
Because I know that You love me
Your love never fails

Verse 2:
The wind is strong and the water's deep
But I'm not alone in these open seas
Cause Your love never fails
The chasm is far too wide
I never thought I'd reach the other side
But Your love never fails

Bridge:
You make all things work together for my good

Confessions

Confession:

I break the speed limit.  A LOT.

I sit behind the wheel of a red rocket, and she all but necessitates that I drive her FAST.

When I first got her, there were bets being placed on how long it would take for me to get a ticket.  But so far, there have been no winners of said bet. 

I think I've learned how to push the limit...but not be excessive.  I know where the cops sit.  I drive the same route almost every day, and I know where I can lay the pedal down, and where I have to ease up.  So I haven't gotten a ticket, but I probably deserve that ticket.  Just being honest. 

Confession:
I break God's heart.  A LOT.
I was born with a sinful nature, and it all but necessitates that I live like the world.
I live in a fallen world with a sinful heart, but God sent a Savior to set me free from that sin.  And when I asked Him to come into my heart and change my life, He most certainly did!  But I still struggle.
I think I've learned how to push the limit...but not be excessive.  I know how to avoid the "major" sins.  I settle into my normal routine, and I know when I can get away with things, and when I need to clean up my act.  I do the things I don't want to do, and I don't do the things I do want to do.  I know I deserve that ticket to hell.  Just being honest.

Thank you, Jesus, that I can look to You to save me, and I don't have to depend on myself!!  This doesn't negate my responsibility to "obey the law", but I am most certainly thankful that I have Someone who stands in the gap for my shortcomings.

John 3:16-18 says it best:
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.  For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.  Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son."

Hopeless no more...

Hopelessness.  It's all around us.
Life can hurt.  Life can overwhelm.  Life can eventually drown.

But when I am feeling that familiar tug, THIS IS MY HOPE...

Lamentations 3:21-26

Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:  Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.  I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”  The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.

This is so rich, and there's so much I could say, but sometimes it's just best to let the Word speak for itself.  So for now, that's it.  And it's more than enough.

What am I doing here?!

God's put some things on my heart. 

Things He just might want me to share. 

So this is the beginning. 

Of what?  I don't know.

But this is what I do know:

God's given me this life.

I'm giving it back to Him.

In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.