On Pause

I've been reading in the Old Testament about the Israelites after God brought them out of Egypt.  Every time I've read through those passages, I subconsciously shake my head and laugh at how ridiculous they are.  They could look back and see how God rescued them in miraculous ways.  They could visibly see that God was right there with them...leading and guiding both day and night.  They'd complain about not having water, and God would provide water.  They'd worry about what they were going to eat, and God provided manna.  Then they complained about not having meat, and God provided quail for them to eat.  Time after time after time, God provided.  And yet they still complained. 

Then I stop laughing when I realize that I just read about myself...

Is it just me, or does anyone else have times when it feels like God has hit the pause button?  You feel like you've been obedient and done your part.  You hurry up...then you wait. 

Come on, God!!
Hello?  God??  Are You there? 
Tag...You're it! 
It's Your turn.  Make a move. 
Hello?

[[grand pause]] 
**crickets**

Nope.  Nothin'.
**sigh**

It seems like I can look back over the past and see time after time when God has blessed me in incredibly amazing ways.  I can vividly see that He's been actively working in my life.  I know without a doubt that I'm on the right "path" and following where He's leading.  I can see Him at work in other people's lives around me, and I'm able to encourage them to rejoice in His victories within their lives.  I can see how He's been moving and orchestrating events both in the past and the here and now.  And yet, there are days, which at times stretch into weeks, when I start to lose a little hope. When I get discouraged.  When, logically, I might still trust Him, but I don't feel His presence.  I might even start to complain a little.

I read Jeff Manion's The Land Between several months ago, and I love how he described what God's goal was for the Israelites in the desert...and for us as well:

In the wilderness travels of the Israelites, God was out to grow a specific fruit in this harsh environment: he wanted to produce a relationship of trust.  He desired an intimate relationship with his people, and trust is the glue that holds any relationship together. 

The [wilderness] was intended as the people's training ground, their boot camp.  The desert was to serve the purpose of transforming the people of slavery into the people of God.

Because they were in training to be God's representatives, they were thrust into situations in which either their trust would have to stretch or they would crack.  Their God was asking, "Will you trust me when you have limited water?  Will you trust me when food is in short supply?  Will you trust me when you grow tired of the food I am providing?  Will you trust me?"  Unfortunately, the people cracked - repeatedly.

The wilderness is a great space to be enrolled in the school of trust.  Perhaps if we can grasp the purpose of our [wilderness], we can cooperate with that purpose rather than resisting it.  The purpose is trust.  The purpose is transformation.  God brings us out of Egypt and into the [wilderness] to draw us closer in a relationship of trust and to transform us.  We need true, lasting transformation in our lives.  If we can understand what God desires from these experiences, we can resist a spirit of complaint and turn toward God, crying out to him honestly with our hearts, believing that he hears us.  We can trust him to provide in ways we might not even know to ask for - trust that he sees us, knows our needs, and looks on us with loving concern.