Rewind

Have you ever wanted to go back and redo certain eras of life?

Sometimes I'd just love to hit the rewind button and totally change everything about my college experience. Well, not my roommate (just to clarify since I know you're probably reading this...haha). And I'm not saying I want to go through the classes and studying part either. BUT seriously, sometimes I wonder what it would be like to go back and relive the social life part as the person I am today rather than who I was back then. Oh man...I would have gotten involved in SO much more...done SO much more...been so much more fun! Why in the world did I hole up in my room so much?! Why didn't I get to know people?! I can't even use the excuse that I was investing time in studying. Nope...I was just flat out lame.  haha

And then there's a whole other level...

Sometimes I'd just love to rewrite portions of life when I made stupid choices; gave into temptations; let other people's opinions speak louder than the truth; rushed ahead with decisions before consulting God's wisdom. Actually, there are even some parts of life that I honestly just want to completely erase. I wish they never took place. I don't even want a second chance to live through them again. Can we just pretend like they never even happened and move on?

But there's something I've started to learn and really understand over the last few years. There's something about the past that's made me who I am today. There are seasons of life I'm not proud of, there are things that I should have handled a whole lot better, and there are moments when I've completely messed up. But without going through those rough spots and working through a lot of painful and hard times, I wouldn't have learned most of the invaluable life lessons that are behind why I'm where I am right now.

There's something to be said about the wisdom that comes as you live life. There's a difference between head knowledge and really understanding through experience. And while it might be nice to be able to rewind and be granted a do-over, I can honestly say that I wouldn't want to trade any of my past if it meant giving up what I've learned through it. And as long as I keep my eyes open to God's leading, He will continue to use every facet of life to continually mold me and help me grow.