Note to Self: Pity Parties

Pity parties. I used to be really good at throwing them.

Guest list: me, myself, and I.

They weren't much fun.

I certainly didn't invite God to them. Oh sure, I'd call Him crying. I'd ask Him to make it stop hurting so much. I'd ask Him "why me?!" He'd always show up wanting to help, but I'd never let Him in the door. For some reason every time He came knocking, I decided I liked my party just the way it was. A big, sad, self-pitying mess.

And then somewhere along the way I woke up. I grew up. I realized how much I was missing in my pity party of one. How selfish and self absorbed I was being. I was downright ungrateful. I was miserable. I was denying God the opportunity to take the chaos and confusion and turn it into something beautiful and flourishing.

I still throw my little pity parties at times, but thankfully I'm finding that I'm letting God in more often than not now. Sometimes we just sit and cry together, but I'm finding that He changes the bitter, angry tears to tears of joy and hope. Sometimes in the middle of it all, I just need to be reminded of where I've been and how far God has brought me. How He's faithfully carried me through so much. How time after time He's provided for my exact needs and blessed me abundantly even in the middle of some of the most painful times.

And so I thought I should write myself a little reminder...

Today's Note to Self: Pity Parties - don't talk yourself into hosting one...ever.