Follow

Twisted turning road ahead of me

Foggy steps my feet take

Winding down or up I can't see

Stumbling blindly through life's heartache

Hands clinging desperately

To the line of life I need

To the only One I know

Who will always lead

Where I should follow

Heart crying out my plea

For saving grace to rescue me

You're the only One I know

Who will always lead

If I'll learn to follow

Change

It's crazy to think that a year ago, my little world as I knew it totally turned upside down. The safe little bubble that I had built up and lived in completely imploded. I suppose in comparison to the crisis situations that I've seen other people go through, it might have been insignificant. But for me, it was earth shattering. Not knowing who to trust. Not knowing what to do. Not knowing anything really.

And yet in the middle of it all, there was a strange sense of peace. 

You see, this wasn't the first time I've had the rug pulled out from under me.  It wasn't the first time I've experienced heartache.  It wasn't the first time I've been left in complete bewilderment. Not understanding. Not knowing who to trust. Not knowing what to do.  But I think this most recent time was different somehow, and I think it's because of things that God has been teaching me step by step especially over the last few years.

For the first time in my life, I knew that my focus was first and foremost dead set on following what God wanted for me. Even if it meant change (which up until that point hadn't really been a part of my vocabulary). Even if it meant leaving everything that I loved doing and was thrilled beyond words to be involved in.  Even if it scared the crap out of me. So while I felt completely out of control and disoriented, somehow I knew that God was in control. I knew that no matter what happened, He would walk through it with me. And if God was asking me to uproot myself and start over, then He would certainly not waste the amazing things that He had begun in my life or the passions that He had been stirring in my heart.

There was really only one thing I kept coming back to amidst my uncertainty. Even if I didn't understand, I knew that if God was calling me to change, then I could change.  I would change. And I found peace in that. Overwhelming peace.

Sitting on her front porch, a great friend encouraged me to trust my gut, and trust that if I've truly been seeking God's will and His guidance, then God was in that peace that I was experiencing. And that's when I think the lightbulb finally went on, and it finally clicked. I realized that maybe I wasn't so uncertain about what I needed to do after all.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Crazier still, once I started to embrace that peace and follow God's leading, that's when change actually started to hold a hint of excitement for me. I'm actually starting to look forward to it! I love what Steven Furtick posted on twitter yesterday: Everything I ever thought I needed that God took away, turns out it was blocking something BETTER He had prepared. And let me tell you, I've seen God open some amazing doors along the way. And as I continue to learn to let go of my will and follow His, I'm thinking there's a whole slew of incredible opportunities just waiting to unfold in God's perfect timing.

I do not know what the future holds.  I do not know where God might call me.  I do not know what may be on the horizon.  But I do know without a doubt that as long as I'm running hard after God and following His lead, I never have to be afraid. I can trust that His plan will always be so much greater than my own. I can rest in His peace no matter what He might ask me to change.

Four Chords

I've never really thought about how many songs are out there that are built off of the exact same chord progression.  Four chords...apparently that's all you need to write a good love song.  And North Point Community Church rocks this medley!!  I love it!!

It's Friday, and I have nothing in depth or profound to expound on with this one. 

This is just awesome.  End of story...

Epic Fail

This clip got passed around the office this week, and I just died laughing...

Don't worry...it's fake.  No one was harmed in the filming of this video.  Therefore, it's ok to laugh at the kid's demise!  :-)

It's crazy though.  You kind of  forget the fact that their tablecloth trick actually worked, because you're left in shock (and laughter) at the epic failure that happens afterwards.  I think life is like that sometimes.  How many times do we try something new and triumph in our success, only to have the world come crashing down around us in the very next second?  How many times do we lose sight of how far God has brought us when we're yet again smacked in the face with that one area of life that just doesn't want to fall into place?  How many times do we forget about the incredible blessings that God has lavished on us when we encounter disappointment, loss, or heartache?

It's in times like this that I'm so very thankful that we have God's Word to run to - to remind us of His love and faithfulness and to give us hope. There is nothing in life...no pain, no crisis, no failure...that is too epic for Him to overcome! 

I have been deprived of peace;
I have forgotten what prosperity is.
So I say, “My splendor is gone
and all that I had hoped from the Lord.”
I remember my affliction and my wandering,
the bitterness and the gall.
I well remember them,
and my soul is downcast within me.
Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:
Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”
The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;
it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the Lord.

Lamentations 3:17-26 

Holy

I see the Lord

Clothed in splendor

Too brilliant

Too awesome

Too wonderful to comprehend

I fall to my knees

And I cry

Holy, You're holy, holy Lord

Holy, so holy, holy Lord

I'm not worthy

Stained with sin

Too guilty

Too broken

Too unclean to raise my head

I fall to my knees

And I cry

Holy, You're holy, holy Lord

Holy, so holy, holy Lord

Then He lifted me

Redeemed my life

Gave freedom

Gave healing

Gave power to begin again

I stand to my feet

I lift up my eyes

I raise my hands to You

And I cry

Holy, You're holy, holy Lord

Holy, so holy, holy Lord

I Love This Church!!

I headed up north to State College last weekend to watch Penn State and Alabama square off against each other. It's amazing to see an entire town transformed for game day. People flock in all decked out in their game day apparel touting their support for their school, and during this white out game, it was even easier to spot the crimson Bama fans dotting the stadium. "We Are!!...Penn State!!" could be heard as people chanted around town, and you could feel the anticipation build as you got closer to Beaver Stadium and game time approached. The Blue Band came out to kick off the game (as you can see above), and the place erupted. The Nittany Lion led a call and response as one side of the stadium shouted "WE ARE!!", and the other side answered "PENN STATE!!". The air was filled with passionate excitement, and fans were ready.

So how is it that we can go to a football game and cheer on our favorite team...yelling, screaming, clapping, waving our pom-poms...and then go to church on Sunday and sit there sullen and straight faced without any excitement at all?? Shouldn't our relationship with God be exciting? Shouldn't we enjoy the community of believers that gather together to celebrate the God who created us and loves us? I'm not saying we need to jump up and down, dance in the aisles, and wave flags...although, maybe there is a time and a place for that as well. I'm just saying that maybe we should actually realize why we're going to church in the first place and Who we're actually there for. Isn't God an even bigger reason to celebrate? Shouldn't He be the greatest reason of all to celebrate? Maybe we should actually let that sink in and have an affect on our hearts.

God deserves our excitement. God deserves our joy. God deserves our best.

I want to be contagious. I want the excitement that I've found in my relationship with Christ to be caught by others around me. I want to spread the joy that God's put in my heart and effect people I come into contact with. I want to worship all week long in anticipation of joining with my church family each weekend to celebrate together. And even more than that, I want to turn that celebration into action. Not only by being responsive within our time of corporate worship, but also by responding through serving within my church.

I love my church!!

I'm loving the current "I Love This Church" series that Pastor Curt is sharing with us, and I love that we have the opportunity to be involved, share our excitement, live out our faith, and do something about it by giving back.

Glorious

I was out for a run last night, and this song shuffled into my music mix. Its bpm is perfect for the speed I typically run at, and I found myself pushing forward with more energy with every step. Here's the problem though: I CANNOT help but sing along with this song! There I was...out on the trail...singing and running. Well, to be honest, I wasn't really successful at doing either one combined together like that. So it didn't take long for me to stop singing. Instead, I just found myself smiling and raising my hands in worship. It's a good thing I didn't pass too many people. They would've gotten a good show.

FYI: if you ever see me smiling while I'm out on the trail, I can guarantee it has NOTHING to do with the fact that I'm running. :-)

We look to You, eyes upon Your cross
We live for You, and count it all as loss
We hold on to You, knowing You have overcome
We trust You, giving up our hearts
We wait for You, knowing You will come
We belong to You, You have given life to us
Great is Your name and we give You praise

You are Glorious, high above the heavens
You are Glorious, in brilliance unapproachable
And marvelous
We await our Savior, Glorious

No enemy can keep us from You
Our victory, anchored in truth
More than conquerors, in You we will overcome

You are Glorious, high above the heavens
You are Glorious, in brilliance unapproachable
And marvelous
We await our Savior

Sovereign King, over all things
We give You honor
Humbly You came, forever You reign

You are Glorious, high above the heavens
You are Glorious, in brilliance unapproachable
And marvelous
We await our Savior, Jesus
High above the heavens
You are Glorious, in brilliance unapproachable
And marvelous
We await our Savior, Glorious
You are glorious

Waters Rise

Wow...there is water EVERYWHERE in central PA.
A storm system that stalled over top of us brought rain...LOTS of rain.  And the rain brought flooding...LOTS of flooding.

Lancaster County was hit hard:

Lititz Springs Park

Linear Park under water in Lititz

772 near Brownstown

Route 23 crossing the Conestoga River

Main Street in Denver

322 in Ephrata

Green Dragon under water

Crazy fools in Mount Joy

And Lebanon County was hit just as badly:

Collapsed roads

More roads washing away 

And then there are areas farther north near my parents:

Poor Knoebels Amusement Park  :-(

Crazy high waters surround all the bridges heading into my hometown.  Mandatory evacuations for some areas had been put in place:

Route 11 bridge heading into the underpass in Norry

That's a BRIDGE...the water is usually WAY down below.

The Susquehanna is taking over

When the waters rise around me I am safe
In the valley Lord, You are near always
You have me surrounded by Your grace
When my strength is gone, I won't be afraid
You are with me always

Training

This past weekend I witnessed the culmination of weeks upon weeks of my two friends' training efforts. Sacred time was carved into schedules. Sleep was sacrificed. Muscles were sore. Perspiration flowed. And I'm thinking there may have been some blood and tears to accompany that sweat along the way as well. At the end of it all, they ran in the Virginia Beach half marathon.

This wasn't the first half marathon that they've run. Actually, this was their third of four they're running in this year, and the ninth one they've run since they initially started training. Sure, they may take a week or two off here and there in between races, and they may cut back on the intensity and the distance of their runs during the winter. But they've come to learn that in order to get ready for the next big race, they need to be in a constant state of training.

One of my friends, unfortunately, had a little run in with some e coli bacteria from her out of the country excursion the prior weekend. But she, albeit somewhat stubbornly, still ran anyway. And while I think she'd tell you that this wasn't really one of her better races, after all that training, there was no backing out. You see, some days running comes a little easier than others. Some days you feel like you're on top of the world, and you have the energy to run for miles on end. But sometimes different conditions hit. Excessive heat and humidity. Poor food choices during the day. A run in with e coli or the common cold. Even simply rolling out on the wrong side of the bed in the morning. Something just doesn't click. Everything hurts. You're gasping for air. You just want to lay down...right there...on the pavement...and sleep. But when you're in the middle of training, you get up and run anyway. And even more so, when the day of the big race comes, you force yourself to get up and run anyway!

It's my hope that I can stay in a constant state of training in my own daily life...in my spiritual life...in my relationship with God.  I'm running this race that God's set before me in order to win.  I want to ultimately finish this race well and win the prize...eternal life with my Father in heaven.  And I'm coming to learn that in order to run this race, it takes an awful lot of training and dedication.  Sacred time needs to be carved into my schedule to spend in God's word and prayer.  It takes hard work and sometimes even a little sweat equity to put myself out there and give of myself to others.  To be a part of God's church.  To sacrifice things that people around me may see as fun and pleasurable, but will ultimately hinder my ability to run this race in peak condition.

It's inevitable.  I know there are days that poor choices will cause me to stumble.  When I'm not willing to deal with sin issues in my life that come up and fester in my heart.  Life is just downright hard sometimes.  Everything hurts, and I'm simply trying to get through the day and breathe.  I just want to lay down...right there...on the floor...and give up.  But when you're in the middle of training, you get up and run anyway.  When you're training to win the most significant and precious prize of all, you force yourself to get up and run anyway!!

...let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.

Celebrating Good

I look around, and I see a world that God spoke into being.  With just a word, the heavens and the earth came into existence.  And when God created this world, it was GOOD.  The light was good.  The sky, land, and sea were good.  The plants and animals were good.  Mankind, created in God's image, was GOOD.  God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. 

Well...it was good at least. In this crazy life we live, there are a lot of things that seem hurtful and painful and just plain destructive.  The fact is, this old world is slowly wearing out. And on top of that, there is war and fighting. There are natural disasters...seemingly more now than there have ever been. And we are all a sinful people with sinful natures who just outright mess up...a lot. It's no wonder that sometimes I find myself getting stuck focusing on the negative.  

I'm realizing that there really are good things all around us though, and I just need to step up and recognize them. 

Orange and pink sunsets
Bible verses that speak to your soul
Spring flower blooms
Encouragement exactly when needed
Babies laughing and cooing
Smiles that light up your entire face
Promises of rainbows
Friends who know your soul and protect your heart
Morning dew drops catching early morning rays of light
Answered prayers
Life nourishing rain

Sometimes it comes easy.  In the high points of life, it's easy to be positive and see good in everything.  But there are often times when I need to force myself to find the good amidst the storms that rage in life.  I love how God still creates good even the darkest times, and I want to make sure I celebrate His goodness and the good blessings He gives.

I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me.

WE ARE!!!

I love the fall. It's the best season ever! I love the cooler, crisp weather. I love watching the leaves change into their various brilliant colors.  I love the autumn scents in the air. I love wearing hoodies in the evening.  And most of all, I love the fact that it's football season!!  COLLEGE FOOTBALL SEASON IS FINALLY HERE!!!  I can't believe games start again tonight.  The jersey is coming back out!! I'm so stinkin' excited!! It really is the MOST wonderful time of the year!!  Time to get pumped up!!  Time to cheer on the boys!!!

WE ARE!!!!

PENN STATE!!!!

  

Whispers

My heart's response to yesterday's post...

Dampen the roar

Catch my attention

To hang on Your every word

There's so much to miss

If I remain unstirred

Help me be still

Focus my thought

Tune my ear to Your will

Silence my voice

Quiet my heart

I want to hear Your whisper above the noise

Sweep me away

Rest the busy

To help me find You today

I know You still speak

If I take time to pray

Help me be still

Focus my thought

Tune my ear to Your will

Silence my voice

Quiet my heart

I want to hear Your whisper above the noise

Help me to stop

And listen

Lord, whisper Your love to me

Jesus, whisper Your love to me

Making the Time

I tend to talk to God off and on throughout the day as different things come up in life. I think of a friend who's hurting and struggling, and I pray that my Comforter would intervene and shelter her. I see a beautiful sunrise, and I thank the Creator for it. I mess up yet again, and I repent to my Savior and Redeemer and ask for forgiveness. I hear of a sickness or a need, and I bring it before my Healer and Provider.

I know there isn't a magic formula for prayer. I know there's no required time, place, or way that we have to pray. I know we can talk to our Father at any time and in any place. But sometimes I realize that while I've thrown out popcorn prayers throughout the day, I haven't ever slowed down, got away, and set aside specific, dedicated time to spend one on one with my Daddy. Time to get to know Him. Time to really communicate with Him.

As I've been reading through the gospels over the last few weeks, I was noticing how many times Jesus physically withdrew from the crowds, withdrew from serving, and even sometimes withdrew from His own disciples...to spend time in prayer.

But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.

I can't even imagine how busy Jesus must have been. People were clamoring for his attention all the time. He'd try to escape on occasion for a little just to catch His breath and rest, and somehow the crowds of people always seemed to find Him. And even when He did get away from the crowds for a few minutes, He had His disciples there with Him. They were constantly watching His every move to learn from Him and follow Him step by step. And yet, He made determined efforts to set dedicated time aside just to talk with His Father. 

Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed. 

Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.”

It's made me think.  Am I carving out sufficient time to really grow in my relationship with Christ?  Am I quieting the noise of my life enough to actually be able to hear God speak...to hear His answers?  Am I even taking the time to listen for His response?  While I think it's important to recognize God and talk with Him throughout the day, I'm also being reminded that, as in any good relationship, it's also important to spend quality time in face to face dialogue...in heart to heart deeper communication. 

So I'm sure this will end up being a life long evaluation, but it's an important question none-the-less...  

Am I making the time to withdraw and pray?

Unveiled

Victory Church has witnessed incredible life changing growth within individuals who have participated in their men's mentoring ministry, Men of Iron, they started a few years ago.  It has also served to highlight even more that there's a desperate need within our society...
          ...for relationship.
          ...for accountability.
          ...to have a safe and trustworthy confidant.
          ...to be transparent and real.
          ...for discipleship.
          ...to know that someone truly cares.
          ...for strengthening God-centered spiritual foundations.
          ...for encouragement.
          ...to know that we don't have to walk through life's struggles alone.

Its success has now become a catalyst to begin branching out into other demographics.  And I'm so excited about the upcoming launch of Unveiled, the new women's mentoring ministry, that's starting up in September! 

In preparation for its launch, a mentor training meeting was held this last weekend.  Not only was I blown away by the hearts of the women who are heading up this ministry, but I was overwhelmed and literally brought to tears by the passion and heart of each woman who will be stepping up to give of themselves and their time to be mentors.

As an introduction, we were all supposed to say our name and tell everyone a "fun fact" about ourselves, but what actually ended up happening was so much better than what was originally intended. One by one, each woman stood up and shared their excitement over this ministry. And as we went around the room, it was incredible how many similar sentiments were being expressed among the group.

As each woman shared their heart, it quickly became apparent that many of us on some level had at some point felt inadequate to fill this role.  There were thoughts of: I'm not trained for this.  I won't know what to say.  What do I have to offer?  What if I don't know the right answers?  But the amazing thing is that God has made it very clear that we don't need to have all the right answers.  We just need to be available.  We just need to listen.  We just need to be Jesus in the flesh.  It sounds so simple, but in my own life, I've found no greater comfort than hearing from someone who cares and being encouraged to trust that God is in control and loves me.

I also loved how many women shared how circumstances of their past, albeit painful and difficult, have served to not only help them grow as individuals and in their relationship with Christ, but they now recognize how God is able to turn those trials around to be used to help others.  I've seen it time after time.  As we're willing to open up and share, God turns those past hurts into a tool to help heal others.  We all have imperfections.  We've all done things we're not proud of.  We've all had to face hard situations in life.  And, if we're willing to be transparent and real, God uses all of those trials to make us better equipped to take someone else under our wing and walk through life with them. He makes us better equipped to empathize.  He makes us better equipped to know how to uphold them in prayer.  He makes us better equipped to guide them toward Christ and His loving arms.

As the ministry's mission states:  Empowered by the Spirit, we desire to mentor women in the Word of God so that they experience a transformation of heart, mind, and lifestyle. It's my prayer that as each woman involved in this ministry offers up her time and her heart, we would all be woven into more beautiful women of God. 

All of us are looking with unveiled faces at the glory of the Lord as if we were looking in a mirror.  We are being transformed into that same image.

Back to School

I seriously cannot believe it's that time of year again.  I haven't even had to go "back to school" for over 10 years now, and those three dreaded words still carry a hint of depression in them for me. 

I don't know what it is exactly.  Perhaps it's because it symbolizes the end of freedom.  Perhaps it's because I know it means that the days are getting shorter and cold weather is just around the corner.  Perhaps it's merely because I know there will be more traffic on my way to work in the morning, and those big yellow buses will be slowing me and my red rocket down with their flashing yellow lights and their little stop signs.

I've never quite been able to understand those people who genuinely get some kind of high out of the process of learning.  Don't get me wrong.  I do like to learn new things and expand my horizons, but I'm much more interested in investing my time in diving deeper into areas that I'm passionate about rather than learning random facts that I know will never stick because I have no practical application for them.  My brain hurts just thinking about having to take a test and get graded on my aptitude and seeing potential red marks on my paper!  I'm starting to break into a cold sweat even as I type this!  The funny thing is that despite my aversion for school, I typically have been a pretty good student.  I even graduated high school with the honored salutatorian title and all!  (shhhh...#2 out of 12 students in my graduating class doesn't sound as impressive...haha)  But still, I really wouldn't have classified all that learning as "fun" for the most part.  Except for algebra...I genuinely LOVED algebra.  :-)

So here's to all of you students out there who are starting to head back to school for yet another year of filling your brain with all kinds of wonderful facts and figures.  I do not envy you.  But I will say that while I'm thankful I'm not in your shoes any more, I'm also thankful that I stuck with it and actually put the time and effort into making the most of my schooling.  No pain, no gain...right?

Good luck!!  :-)

(something tells me that I should never be asked to give an encouraging motivational speech to students...ever. haha)

Ordinary Miracles

A holy silence

Breaking with dawn

Like breathing and laughter

Winds blow and are gone

Sunrise to sunset

Winter turns spring

Your fingerprint touches

Creation all sings

Even in the ordinary

There are miracles every day

Your goodness

Your kindness

Your faithfulness

They're on display

Joining the applause of angels

Singing hallelujah praise Your name

Colors triumphant

Bursting through gloom

Clouds settle on meadows

Buds bloom perfumed

Thunder that rumbles

Life giving rain

Love breaks through with healing

Undeserved again

Even in the ordinary

There are miracles every day

Your goodness

Your kindness

Your faithfulness

They're on display

Joining the applause of angels

Singing hallelujah praise Your name

We're singing

Hallelujah!

Hallelujah!

Praise Your name!

Shaken

So we're sitting at the office yesterday, and the building starts to vibrate.  I'm rocking gently in my chair.  My co-worker feels the extra heavy fire safe filing cabinets sway.  We're looking at each other in bewilderment.  What in the world is going on?  Did a massive truck just drive by?  Were the shop guys pounding something extra vigorously?  Did a low flying plane just go overhead?

 

Now for those of you who have experienced that kind of earth shaking movement before, it probably was no big deal.  But to us here on the east coast, this is not a normal occurrence.  The funniest part was that we hopped online right away to check the news stations to see what had happened, and there wasn't anything being reported at that point.  What we really should have done was gone straight to the world of Facebook.  I've never seen so many comments populating my wall so quickly!  Technology in this information age...you have to love it!  Who needs news reporters when you have Facebook?!  :-)  Actually though, it was bordering on being a touch overkill.

 

This little earthquake got so much attention, and we weren't even near the center of it.  By far, this was the best comment I read from one of my friends:  So much #twitter fuss over a 6.0. Makes me wonder what will happen when Jesus comes. 
I wonder the same thing...

Look, he is coming with the clouds, and every eye will see him, even those who pierced him; and all the peoples of the earth will mourn because of him. So shall it be! Amen. “I am the Alpha and the Omega,” says the Lord God, “who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty.”

Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him.

Stuck

I've been writing these random posts for a few months now, and while a lot of them are things that are on my heart and mind at the moment, sometimes I get stuck.  Like today for instance.  I'm sitting here trying to think of something super deep or some kind of analogy or even something funny.  I got nothin'.  And so, I'm just starting to write about...well...nothing! 
 
It makes me wonder if there are weeks when pastors get stuck?  Then it occurred to me how much I think I take them for granted sometimes.  I know we tend to see it as their "job", and hopefully it's a position that God has truly called them to, but that doesn't mean that they aren't human.  That doesn't mean that there couldn't be times when they just aren't feeling lead to speak on something in particular.  That doesn't mean that every single Sunday's message will hit home with everyone. 

I realize that Sunday mornings are not supposed to be my sole source of spiritual meat throughout the week, and I also realize that I shouldn't be looking to my pastor to spoon feed me either.  At the same time, if we're honest, I'm pretty sure that most of us walk in with some kind of expectations.  While it's unfair to expect sermons to be a home run every week, we kind of hope to at least get something out of it, right? 

Wow.  I don't think I could handle that kind of pressure.

All of that is to say that my mental block has stirred up a new appreciation for what my pastor, Curt Seaburg, does every week.  I am thankful that God has called him, gifted him, and given him the ability to communicate God's Word effectively.  I'm grateful that he's sought God's leading and poured prayer over his sermons each and every week.  I love that he's not afraid to switch up a pre-planned sermon series when God has lead him to speak on a different topic.  I admire his transparency and the fact that he's real about his shortcomings and failures.  I am so very thankful that God has raised up men like Pastor Curt to preach His Word boldly and unashamedly and to point others toward Christ's saving grace.

It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.

Chia

Cha-Cha-Cha-Chia! 

That seems to be my theme song over the summer months, and I was miserably singing it last weekend with all the humidity in the air.  See, the thing is, I happen to have my very own personal Chia Pet on my head.  Humidity makes it grow in epic proportions.  This mop of curls just loves to suck it all in and go wild.  Seriously...watch the commercial.  Watch how each of them sprout and get full and fuzzy.  It's a totally accurate representation of what my poor hair looked like. 

I've been told so many times how "lucky" I am to have all this curl.  People pay good money to get curls like that!  You should be grateful!  Hahaha...well, then why don't YOU try maintaining it for a day and THEN see what you think.  I guarantee that you, too, will soon be singing...Cha-Cha-Cha-Chia!  (kind of catchy, don't you think?  haha)

On Pause

I've been reading in the Old Testament about the Israelites after God brought them out of Egypt.  Every time I've read through those passages, I subconsciously shake my head and laugh at how ridiculous they are.  They could look back and see how God rescued them in miraculous ways.  They could visibly see that God was right there with them...leading and guiding both day and night.  They'd complain about not having water, and God would provide water.  They'd worry about what they were going to eat, and God provided manna.  Then they complained about not having meat, and God provided quail for them to eat.  Time after time after time, God provided.  And yet they still complained. 

Then I stop laughing when I realize that I just read about myself...

Is it just me, or does anyone else have times when it feels like God has hit the pause button?  You feel like you've been obedient and done your part.  You hurry up...then you wait. 

Come on, God!!
Hello?  God??  Are You there? 
Tag...You're it! 
It's Your turn.  Make a move. 
Hello?

[[grand pause]] 
**crickets**

Nope.  Nothin'.
**sigh**

It seems like I can look back over the past and see time after time when God has blessed me in incredibly amazing ways.  I can vividly see that He's been actively working in my life.  I know without a doubt that I'm on the right "path" and following where He's leading.  I can see Him at work in other people's lives around me, and I'm able to encourage them to rejoice in His victories within their lives.  I can see how He's been moving and orchestrating events both in the past and the here and now.  And yet, there are days, which at times stretch into weeks, when I start to lose a little hope. When I get discouraged.  When, logically, I might still trust Him, but I don't feel His presence.  I might even start to complain a little.

I read Jeff Manion's The Land Between several months ago, and I love how he described what God's goal was for the Israelites in the desert...and for us as well:

In the wilderness travels of the Israelites, God was out to grow a specific fruit in this harsh environment: he wanted to produce a relationship of trust.  He desired an intimate relationship with his people, and trust is the glue that holds any relationship together. 

The [wilderness] was intended as the people's training ground, their boot camp.  The desert was to serve the purpose of transforming the people of slavery into the people of God.

Because they were in training to be God's representatives, they were thrust into situations in which either their trust would have to stretch or they would crack.  Their God was asking, "Will you trust me when you have limited water?  Will you trust me when food is in short supply?  Will you trust me when you grow tired of the food I am providing?  Will you trust me?"  Unfortunately, the people cracked - repeatedly.

The wilderness is a great space to be enrolled in the school of trust.  Perhaps if we can grasp the purpose of our [wilderness], we can cooperate with that purpose rather than resisting it.  The purpose is trust.  The purpose is transformation.  God brings us out of Egypt and into the [wilderness] to draw us closer in a relationship of trust and to transform us.  We need true, lasting transformation in our lives.  If we can understand what God desires from these experiences, we can resist a spirit of complaint and turn toward God, crying out to him honestly with our hearts, believing that he hears us.  We can trust him to provide in ways we might not even know to ask for - trust that he sees us, knows our needs, and looks on us with loving concern.

Never Change

The whole world turned upside down

Nothing stays the same

Battered and bruised, so confused

Nothing makes sense to me

Feeling lost, completely alone

Broken hearted again

Pieces crumble like before

It never seems to end

God, You were

God, You are

God, You will always be

My hope, my trust, my security

You never change

You never fail

You never will leave

My constant, my life, my eternity

Lifting my hands to You again

Surrendering my heart

Take this life, make it Yours

And use it for Your plan

Offering up what little I have

Broken and torn apart

But God, You make things new again

More beautiful than before

God, You were

God, You are

God, You will always be

My hope, my trust, my security

You never change

You never fail

You never will leave

My constant, my life, my eternity

No matter what life brings

No matter what the pain

Only One remains the same

My God will never change

Good Amidst Chaos

It never ceases to amaze me how God takes seemingly chaotic situations and always ends up using them for something good.  And yet it's so difficult to remember this when we're caught up in the middle of the chaos.

It happened again this Sunday.  Technology bit the dust.  The internet was completely down at Victory Church's Theater Campus.  There wasn't any way we'd be able to pipe in our live feed of the sermon.  Our video back up message wasn't available due to a prior week's technology glitch.  Pastor Eric's back up sermon notes were at the main campus, which meant he had to drive over there and hopefully be back in time.  Oh, and to top it all off, our senior pastor was there to visit that morning.  The tension level was high, to say the least. 

Thankfully, Pastor Eric made it back in time with his sermon in hand. Of course, that also meant that our video tech had to pull together some kind of last minute background graphic to fit the substitute sermon topic...which, despite the time crunch, ended up being beautiful, as is all his work. I'm completely astounded by the talents that God has given these people and by the grace He's given to them to be able to operate through the mayhem with a smile (well, most of the time, at least...heh). Aside from the fact that we had a live sermon instead of our normal video feed from the main campus, I don't think that most people even knew that there was an issue. But this is where I get floored every time...

After the service I talked to someone who had come to visit our campus for the first time. She was so thankful that she had made it that morning and said that she had been in tears several times throughout the sermon. It had struck home for her. It was exactly what she needed to hear. The even crazier part was that I had just met her for the first time earlier in the week, and I had encouraged her to come check us out sometime. She never thought it would pan out for several reasons, but I guess God had a different plan. Funny how that happens, huh?  :-)

I LOVE HOW GOD BRINGS GOOD THINGS OUT OF CHAOS!!!  I love how He shows up right in the middle of our mess and transforms it into something beautiful.  I love how He can use us even when things aren't going like we planned.  I just wish that I could remember all of that when I'm right in the middle of it.  I wish I could step back, take a breath, remember that God is still in complete control, and totally trust that He will work it all out for good.  Sure, we still need to do our part, but it's so incredible when you can realize in the middle of the craziness that God can and will use it for His glory!

Maybe I'm revealing too much of what really goes on behind the scenes.  Maybe I'm sharing too much of how chaotic Sunday mornings can actually be some weeks.  But I actually think that it's important for us to be real about our shortcomings, our imperfections, our struggles, and our humanity.  Really, it's all God anyway, right?  So maybe we need these kind of Sundays to remind us of that very thing!!

Running

Ok, so hate is a strong word.  I get that.  But seriously, I used to HATE running!  Actually, I kind of still do.  I'll never be Forrest Gump, that's for sure!

I like the concept of running.  I like the results that the process of running produces.  I love the euphoria of accomplishment when I'm all done.  And I actually don't even mind all the sweating that occurs, because I'm sweating for a purpose.  There's just something about it though...I just don't know that I'll ever be able to full out love to do it.  But, at the same time, I know I have to do it.  Nothing else quite measures up.

I bought new running shoes in the spring, and it made a ton of difference.  I was consistently getting out, and I was able to run farther and farther every time.  I think I may have even had a few delusional moments when I said I was actually looking forward to getting out to run?!   I don't think I had ever run more than 3 or 4 miles in the past, but I started averaging around 5 or 6, and I was so excited when I pushed through and started doing 8 or 9 miles.  I don't know what alien life form came and took over my body, but I did it!  And then...July came, and...IT. GOT. HOT.  And the running routine got flushed down the toilet.  **sigh** 

Now it's a month later.  I realized that the elliptical just wasn't quite cutting it, and I really wanted to punch Jillian Michaels any time I saw her.  And so, this week, I've sucked it up, endured the heat, and started running again.  Oh yes, and it's official: I still hate running.

There's good news though.  I'm apparently not alone.  There are other Reluctant Runners out there who aren't terribly thrilled about running...but do it anyway.  haha...and I love their introduction video:

Game of Life

I was talked into playing The Game of Life this past weekend with "the fam" before I had to leave the land of dial-up and make the trek home.  Now I know I've played the game before, but it's been a long, long time.  Wow.  So many choices.  So many paths to take.  So many things that could potentially change the entire course of the game.  And so much of it was dependant purely on chance...spinning the right number...landing on the right spaces...hoping no one would sue you..."investing" money to try to land a windfall. 

Most of the players involved had goals set for themselves at the onset of the game.  Of course, the whole point for everyone was to ultimately try to win, but everyone had a different strategy, and "winning" wasn't necessarily everything.  One player wanted to live in the smallest home and get the best paying job possible in order to gather as much cash as possible along the way.  Another player just wanted to land on all the baby spaces so their car would be filled with children.  And as for me, well...I just wanted to play the game as quickly as possible so I didn't end up leaving too late.  haha

Well, let's just say that out of those three "goals", the only plan that actually ended up panning out was the cash hoarder who ended up eventually winning! Surprise...that's life, right? We all tend to have similar long term goals. We all want to "win" in the end, right? But, for the most part, what constitutes "winning" is going to look different to everyone. Some people want to do it all and have it all and collect as much cash as possible along the way. To live it up. To experience as much as possible. Other people want to settle down, get married, and have children. Their lives are absorbed in family and relationships and the security of familiarity and home. And then there are people who don't really have any goals and float through life. They're not really in it to win it; they're just trying to make it through and make it to the end so it can be over.

How often does life not pan out the way we planned?  How often do we take one path, and seem to always land on the wrong spaces?  How often do we want to live a certain way and accomplish certain things along the way, and luck of the draw just doesn't seem to be cooperating.  Life seems to refuse to line up with your expectations.

In this weekend's game, the player whose whole goal was to land on as many "kid spaces" as possible...of course, she didn't end up landing on any at all.  The most hilarious part was that I could have cared less about the kids, and somehow I ended up with an entire car full!!  Actually, I ended up with so many children that I ran out of room in my car.  So I sent my only "girl" to go ride in her auntie's childless vehicle.  I got free babysitting out of the deal at least!!  And seriously, my whole goal of getting through the game quickly was totally blown out of the water, too.  The one hour game turned into two, which had to be followed up by a two hour drive home.  Fail.

Life may seem like a game at times, but it's really not.  And to treat it as such simply leads to one disappointment, failure, and unmet expectation after another.  I don't know about you, but I don't like losing.  I don't like making plans and not having them work out.  I don't like picking up the pieces after watching yet another dream get crushed. 

The only real strategy that I've seen pan out is when I've surrendered all of my goals to God, given up control, and put all my efforts into running hard after Him.  He's guaranteed that we will win if we do so.  He's promised that we will win eternal life with Him.

So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it.   

I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. 

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.

Love Me Just The Same

You know me more than I know myself

You see the depths of my heart

You hear the thoughts I never speak

You watch as I play the part

And still You love me just the way I am

And long to take me in Your arms

You show me grace and mercy

You carry my burdens

You wipe the past clean

And You love me just the same

You watch as I stumble through the dark

You see the mess that I've made

You know the struggles I have in life

You watch as I walk away

And still You love me just the way I am

And long to take me in Your arms

You show me grace and mercy

You carry my burdens

You wipe the past clean

And You love me just the same

Reconstruction

Every morning on my normal route to work for the past several months I've passed a bridge that's been under construction.  The road has been closed practically all summer long.  It seems like it's taking a really long time, and I'm sure it seems like it's taking even longer to the people who had typically used that road in the past.  It would be one thing if the bridge were just being repaired or patched or reinforced, but that's not the case.  The bridge that had been there was completely destroyed and removed all the way down to the ground level, and now this new one is being totally reconstructed starting from the foundation on up.

I remember when the original bridge was demolished. The whole process of tearing it down and destroying it literally only took a day or two. There was a sign announcing that the road was going to be closed, then I saw a crew show up one morning, and then practically the next day the entire bridge was gone. It's amazing to me how quickly it was dismantled in comparison to how long it's taking for it to be reconstructed.

I'm sure that there was a reason that bridge needed to be torn down. Everything eventually wears out. I'm sure the water that runs underneath it had eroded its foundation. I'm sure there was wear and tear from all the traffic that had driven over it. I'm sure the weather and just plain old time passing by caused it to weaken and start to fall apart.

It got me thinking about life, of course. I have a half hour drive to work...there's lots of time for thinking (when I'm not singing along with my music, that is). It got me thinking about how quickly our lives and relationships can be demolished, seemingly overnight sometimes. But the fact of the matter is that it's hardly ever something that "just happens".   It's those little things.  How the pressures of life chip away at our resolve. How negative attitudes can wear us down. How the people we hang out with leave their mark and will weaken our standards if we're not careful to surround ourselves with quality, healthy friendships. How sin eats away at our foundation unless it's addressed and dealt with.

Putting your finger in a cracked dam will only hold back the water for so long.  Putting a band-aid on a gaping wound does nothing.  Repairing potholes and cracks in a bridge will only fix the problem temporarily.

More often than not, it seems like it takes hitting rock bottom for us to acknowledge that we can't "fix" this on our own.  I love that God graciously provides us with a solution for this demolished, messed up life of ours.  I love that while we may be sitting amidst a pile of rubble in our lives, He has the ability to take those shattered ruins and rebuild our lives from the ground up.  He sees through our facade that we've patched up and tried to unsuccessfully repair ourselves.  And I love that we have a God who steps in and offers us a plan for complete and total reconstruction. 

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions–it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith–and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God– not by works, so that no one can boast.

Friday

YES!!  It's FRIDAY! 
But I can do one better:  It's a FRIDAY in the SUMMER!! 

Actually, it's been really hard to come to the office on Fridays and stare at my computer and be productive.  Life outside my office window beckons me.  Sunshine tempts me.  Fridays seem sooooooooo long. 

Wait.  What am I saying?!  I haven't worked a full Friday since the beginning of March!  ha!  Half day flex Fridays every other week combined with fully sanctioned PTO the other weeks...it's been grand!  So what was I "complaining" about again??  :-)

I do still have to make it through the morning, of course.  So maybe I'll have to pull some Jim Halpert pranks to pass the time...

Shoot...my boss reads this sometimes.  Well, knowing her, she'll probably join me.  ;-)

Rest

I'll run to the arms of my heavenly Father

I'll find shelter from this raging storm

I'll rest in Him through the waiting

And trust in His love for me

My soul finds rest in God alone

My hope comes from Him

I'll find strength

I'll find courage

I'll find peace

As I wait upon the Lord

Hide me in the cleft of Your rock

Cover me with Your mighty hand

Remind me that You'll never leave me

Guide me to Your loving heart

You're my rock and my salvation

My fortress that will not be moved

You're my refuge and my stronghold

My defense that won't be destroyed

(Psalm 62:5-6; 27:14)

Stick

On Sunday, Pastor Curt talked about how God performed a lot of miracles through Moses, and for a majority of them, He told Moses to use his staff...or as Pastor Curt called it, his stick.  God turned Moses' staff into a snake.  God initiated over half of the plagues on Egypt by telling Moses to stretch out his staff.  God parted the waters of the Red Sea by telling Moses, "Raise your staff and stretch out your hand over the sea to divide the water so that the Israelites can go through the sea on dry ground."  Later on as they were traveling through the desert, God tells Moses to strike a rock with his staff to provide water for the people. 

There was an ancillary point that wasn't the main theme of the sermon, but it's something that made me stop and think...

How easy would it have been to start looking to the stick as the source of power behind the miracles that were happening?  It's a key component of the majority of them.  Every time Moses used his staff, something out of the ordinary happened.  There had to be something special about that stick, don't you think?  There had to be a bit of an awe-factor seeing Moses walking around carrying the stick.  How easy would it have been to forget Who was actually the authority behind the supernatural phenomenon...especially when you're seeing something tangible producing amazing wonders right in front of you?

And then I started thinking about how easy that is in the here and now.  How easy is it to start looking to tangible things today that produce incredible outcomes?  How easy is it to lose sight of the Creator behind the talents and gifts that people possess?  How easy is it to focus on how eloquent a pastor is; how moved you are by a song; how talented an artist is; how well a teacher imparts knowledge; how gifted a writer is; how many people come forward when an evangelist gives an altar call; how a doctor heals a patient; how you were encouraged by that person who showed up at the exact time you needed them.  How easy is it to focus on the person that God uses or to focus on the object that God uses?  And how easy is it to forget Who is actually the source of power behind the miracles that are still happening around us everyday?

We have an amazing and powerful God who orchestrates all things together for our good!  May we never attribute the extraordinary of our amazing God to the ordinary of the tangible!  May we never focus on the stick and lose sight of the One who created it and chooses to use it as a vessel for His power!

Tick Tock

It seems like every time it turns to a new month, someone always says that they can't believe it.  It happened again this week.  When did it get to be August?!  Where is the summer going?  I feel like I just got done wrapping up the prior month's financial statements at work, and now I have to start the next month already?  (ok, ok...granted, I was a little behind the eight ball last month, so I literally did just get done wrapping up the prior month. haha) 

Why does time seem to go by faster and faster the older we get?  I remember feeling like I had to wait FOR-EHHHHH-VER for Christmas to come when I was little.  That was the grand event of the year.  It was the one big thing that we always waited for, and it could never get here quickly enough.  And now I'm sitting here thinking, oh my word, Christmas is less than five months away?!  It will be here before we know it!

And, by the way, how in the world did I get to be so old already?!  Have I really been out of college for over 10 years?!  ...and out of high school for 15?!

It kind of all makes me wonder what I've done with all that time?  We were talking the other day about how it seems like we're always focused on that next big thing.  Whether it's planning for a vacation, getting married, completing a level of education, having babies, celebrating a birthday, working toward retirement, or merely working for the weekend.  But what happens when those milestones actually happen?  There's all this build up and anticipation, the event takes place, and then what?  Sure some events snowball into a continuing time of adjustment and the excitement extends past the catalyst of the initial change, but it usually doesn't take long before we're looking ahead again and asking what's next.

I'm not sure if I like this scenario.  I don't like looking back over the day and wondering what I accomplished...much less looking back over a week, a month, a year, or a whole lifetime.  I'm not wired with a "driven" type A personality.  I don't feel the urgency to always be on the go.  I don't feel like less of a person if I haven't achieved some major goal during the day.  BUT...that doesn't mean that I don't want to do something with my life, and it doesn't mean that I don't want to use my time wisely and make a difference in this world and in people around me.  And I certainly don't want to be sitting around waiting for that next big thing and waste the precious time I've been given or not appreciate the incredible blessings that God's given me in the here and now.

And so, I guess the whole point is to remind myself to slow down.  To remember to be thankful for each moment God's given me.  To stop focusing so much on someday and start making the most of today.  Life is too short and way too precious to waste.