Being Present

I've really been feeling convicted recently to put my phone down, put it on silent, and really focus on the people right there in front of me. It chimes with every notification and incoming message. But why do I feel the need to check email/text/facebook/twitter right in the middle of a conversation that I'm having with someone face to face?! What could be that important that I can't put the world on hold and focus on someone in that moment who actually matters?

We're always distracted. The busyness never seems to end. There are always multiple things vying for our attention all at once. We're always connected, and yet how often are we really connecting? We're interacting on so many different levels with tens/hundreds/thousands of people, and yet I question whether or not we are ever fully invested in anyone? When was the last time we truly spent time with people? Even more importantly, when was the last time we really gave GOD our undivided attention? Do we ever just STOP and listen? What does being present even look like?

I've been mulling over the challenge we received at Catalyst Atlanta this year:
Are you willing to be present??

And I really appreciated their examples of what being present really looks like in a practical way:

• Being present means wherever you are, you are all there. It's our responsibility to embrace what God has put squarely in front of us.
• Being present means when talking with someone, you look them in the eyes and listen. Not looking over their shoulder to see whom else is there. Be all there.
• Being present is about focusing on and embracing the NOW. Not just passing through a moment to get to the next thing, but instead focusing on the right now, the present, the Today.
• Being present is about engaging and listening to those right in front of you.
• Being present means you're all in when you're at home. You engage with your spouse and kids.
• Being present means creating margin that allows for interruptions and moment of inconvenience, which can be moments when God does the greatest work through us.
• Being present means consumed by Jesus and the presence of the Holy Spirit. Because He is Present.
• Being present means balancing a culture of distraction and consumption with a commitment to solitude and silence.
• Being present is about staying. It's about showing up and never leaving. Having presence in a place, location or context. Being connected to an address, a neighborhood, a city, a zip code.
• Being present means embracing the role that God has given you right now, and bearing fruit in and through your life.
• Being present means being involved in the community you are located in. Existing in community and not always trying to "create" community. Knowing and loving your neighbors.
• Being present means being deeply rooted. Having maturity, and tremendous depth. Not being anxious and overbearing or sporadic.
• Being present means being in relationship. Incarnational ministry. Creating disciples. Presence demands relationship. Being available to those around you, and casting self aside and focusing on the needs of others. Knowing those around you deeply.
• Being present is more than just attending an event. It's more than just showing up. It's being a part of a moment. It's a way of life.

And don't be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God's place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there.

The 21st Century

Yeah, communication and technology have come a LONG way!!

Remember this sound???

What??  You can't even remember the last time you heard that?? Well, up until yesterday, living in the land of dial up, that's the only sound my parents heard when they tried to tap into the world wide web. And here I thought I made some giant technological advance when I upgraded from my old regular cell phone to my smart phone?! Funny thing is that up until yesterday, they wouldn't have been able to even watch that clip because it would have taken too long to load! :)

I'd like to officially welcome my parents to the 21st century. There's a whole new world out there just waiting to be discovered!! I think my dad might be most excited because he can finally watch the Guy On A Buffalo videos whenever he wants now.  haha!

I wonder what's next?? Maybe someday they'll get a webcam. HA!! I can just imagine that it might go a little something like this...

Who knows?! Maybe someday they'll even get cable or satellite tv and actually be able to see more than four channels?!  **gasp** Then again, that's probably pushing it...  :)

Annoyed

I spent the first two days of this week in the Lancaster County court house serving my very first jury duty summons...ever.
Ergo, I spent the first two days of this week being annoyed.
Yes, annoyed.

I was annoyed that I had to get up earlier than normal.
I was annoyed that I had to drive into the city.
I was annoyed that I couldn't wear jeans.
I was annoyed that I wasn't able to get my beginning of the week tasks done at work.
I was annoyed that I couldn't remember if I locked my car in the parking garage.
I was annoyed that I had to take off my watch when the metal detector went off.
I was annoyed that I had to wear a red juror button.
I was annoyed that I was sitting in a room full of people I didn't know.
I was annoyed that the chairs were horribly uncomfortable.
I was annoyed that the loudest typer in the world had to write a novel on his laptop.
I was annoyed that everyone had to ask the bobbin lace making lady what she was making.
I was annoyed that the bobbin lace lady also knew everything about everything and wasn't afraid to voice her opinions about every single detail...loudly.
I was annoyed that the bobbin lace lady touted the superiority of New York drivers in the middle of a PA juror holding room.
I was annoyed that people didn't know how to put their phones on vibrate.
I was annoyed that non-smart phone users were texting without silencing them first. (beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, well...you get the picture...)
I was annoyed that I didn't bring my phone in with me the first morning.
I was annoyed that I didn't consume any coffee.
I was annoyed that my non-caffeinated head bobbed several times throughout the morning.
I was annoyed that I couldn't focus enough to read with all the chatter going on around me.
I was annoyed that the smokers got special privileges to go outside.
I was annoyed that I got my hopes up thinking we might get to leave early.
I was annoyed that they made ten of us squish together and sit in one pew.
I was annoyed that the courtroom smelled of a strange horrible mix of fish and urine.
I was annoyed that the judge had to over-explain every single detail.
I was annoyed that people stood up and gave irrelevant answers to the judge's inquiry.
I was annoyed that the courtroom benches were super hard and made my butt fall asleep.
I was annoyed that the courtroom temperature continued to rise to a boiling point.
I was annoyed that we had to come back a second day.

But mostly...
I was annoyed that I didn't know what to expect.
I was annoyed that, in my opinion, my time was being wasted.
I was annoyed that my normal routine was being interrupted.

Basically, I am a selfish, spoiled little brat.  :-/

Apparently do everything without complaining or arguing totally went out the window this week. Wow. **sigh**

And now I am annoyed that I was annoyed.  :-/

Give And Take

You split the sky with painted light
Rolling timpani shaking
You echo through the darkest night
Bellowing winds swirling

You shake the earth and trees bend low
Bowing down almost breaking
You churn waves and seas below
Crashing in and overtaking

Your majesty on display

Mighty One
Creator God
Your power can turn night to day
You give and take away

You soak completely my resolve
Breaking through and rebuilding
You pour out overwhelming love
Overflowing and healing

You whisper gently to my heart
Loving warmly and embracing
You'll never leave me or depart
Breathing life into dying

Your majesty on display

Mighty One
Creator God
Your power can turn night to day
You give and take away
Yet even in our darkest hour
Comforter
Loving Father
You're our faithful strong tower
You give and take away

Broken restored
Weak given strength
All glory to You
Shattered rebuilt
Torn mended and new
All glory to You, God

Anniversary

Wow. Yesterday I was reminded of an anniversary that I forgot I had. Well, I remembered that the event took place, and it was, indeed, a very special day, but it's not really something I consistently keep in my mind...especially not enough to celebrate its anniversary. The thing is, it's probably one of the things in my life that's actually worth rejoicing over and commemorating.

On November 7, 1993, I was baptized, and there was much to celebrate! There were six of us who stood up that day and wanted to make a public profession of our faith in front of our church family. I can recall wrestling over the decision for a few weeks beforehand. Did I really want to take this stand? What did I really believe? I knew I believed that Jesus died for me, but had I ever stepped up and made that faith my own? I remember crying in my room...sobbing, is more like it. Mostly, I was scared because I also knew it meant standing up and speaking in front of everyone, but I knew I needed to do it...no, I wanted to do it. It was worth facing that fear. I finally realized that I needed to surrender everything and make a declaration that Jesus Christ was my Lord and Savior.

I love how baptism symbolizes what takes place in our hearts at the time of our salvation:

• We've accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior.
• We've shared in His death and resurrection.
• We've died to our old life (going under the water) and received new life (coming out of the water).
• We were symbolically washed clean and our sins were forgiven by His death on the cross.

What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? Or don’t you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life. If we have been united with him like this in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection. For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin- because anyone who has died has been freed from sin.

I recently saw a few baptisms during a sermon I was watching online, and I loved the pastor's wording that he used.  I just think it so beautifully captures the incredible presence of God in our lives as believers:
I baptize you in the name of the Father Who loves you, the Son Who gave His life for you, and the Spirit that lives inside of You.

60

Wow. Today is my momma's birthday, and it's a BIG one. A whole new decade. It's kind of surreal. Seems like only yesterday we were celebrating her 50th. And the other birthdays weren't that long ago either, were they?

She just told me yesterday that Life is GOOD! And I believe it. Life really is good.

I know I pick on her, and we butt heads at times, but our time here together is so fleeting and way too precious to waste. So not only do I want to say "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOMMA!!!", but much more importantly I want to say "I LOVE YOU!!!"  :-)

Breaking Free

Recently it seems like I've been involved in conversations with several different individuals and groups of people that revolve around our response (or lack thereof) during worship...specifically the time we set aside for singing/music within our respective church services. It's something that I've thought about in the past. Something that's bothered me on occasion. Something that I've wondered whether or not I'm actually justified when it frustrates me.

I've seen a change in my own response, and it's interesting to track the progression that's occurred especially over the last few years. When I think of my response today, compared to my past, there's an amazingly stark contrast. I remember when I was first introduced to "praise & worship" music and how awkward it felt when a scattered few started to clap. And that first time I saw someone across the auditorium raise their hand...bizzare. But now I'm the one clapping and raising my hands...and not just turning my palms up in front of me, but both arms are often flung straight up in wild abandon. I've found that when the Holy Spirit's stirring in my heart, I can't help but respond physically. And I especially can't help the joy that flows out of my heart and spreads across my face.

Like I said, I'm actually bothered now when people don't respond. I've experienced some frustration when I've lead worship, looked out into the congregation, and been met with stone cold expressions. It hurts my heart to think that such a large body of believers can gather together with the express purpose to worship our Father corporately, and yet for all intents and purposes appear to not be moved in any way.

But I've been pondering today if I actually have a right to be upset?? I think the crux of it comes down to a question of each person's heart. And the problem is that I have no way to be able to judge what's going on inside of people at any given time. Maybe it comes so easily and so naturally to me because I'm just an emotive person, and that's the way God's designed me to respond. Is one way of worshiping better than another? I don't think so. Maybe some people aren't singing because they need to take the time to actually stop and soak in the words. Maybe other people are actually responding in their own respective ways, but I don't understand it because we're not wired the same way.

With that said, I do think that in some way we all have a genuine struggle to break free from things that hold us back from really meeting with God. I know that I'm constantly battling the noise of life. There are things that pull for my attention and take my focus off of communing with my Father. For others, it might be an inability to break free from tradition or a fear of change. Or maybe we're just worried about what other people might think. We can be overly conscious of everyone around us, and we can't break free from caring about the opinions of others. I really believe that satan loves to keep us in bondage, and he will do anything and everything to keep us from our relationship with Christ.

I was just reading in 2 Samuel this week about David bringing the Ark of the LORD back to Jerusalem. King David was celebrating in the presence of the Lord. He danced before the Lord with all his might, wearing a priestly garment. (i.e. he was all but naked) Typically there tend to be certain traditions and rules that govern the way royalty is expected to act. When you're the king, people are definitely going to be watching you. And David's wife, Michal, wasn't too pleased with his display. She came out to meet him in disgust saying, "How distinguished the king of Israel looked today, shamelessly exposing himself to the servant girls like any vulgar person might do!" But I love David's response. David retorted, “I was dancing before the LORD, who chose me above your father and all his family! He appointed me as the leader of Israel, the people of the LORD, so I celebrate before the LORD. Yes, and I am willing to look even more foolish than this, even to be humiliated in my own eyes!"

Now I'm not suggesting that anyone go and get naked. Please...don't. :) But what I am saying is that putting everything aside, it doesn't matter what people think. It doesn't even matter if we do, in fact, look foolish to people around us. Ultimately the only thing that matters is God's opinion. He is reason enough to put aside our inhibitions. He is the reason we worship. And there is freedom to be found in surrendering everything to Him. It's my prayer that as we continue to grow in our walk with God, that we'll recognize the things that hold us back, be able to break free from them, and genuinely meet with our Father.

Psalm 13

A variation of Psalm 13 rewritten in response to my own heart's cry...

How long will You wait?

How long will it take?

Tell me how long

When will this change?

Will it ever end?

What's the point?

Why the hurt?

The pain?

I don't know what I'm waiting for

But I will trust

I trust in You

In Your unfailing love

And I rejoice

There's joy in You

Joy in Your salvation

I will sing

You've been so good

So good to me

God, give me peace

God, give me strength

God, I need You

Restore my joy

Bring me back again

Return hope

Free my heart

My soul

I know You can deliver me

I will trust

I trust in You

In Your unfailing love

And I rejoice

There's joy in You

Joy in Your salvation

I will sing

You've been so good

So good to me

Rewind

Have you ever wanted to go back and redo certain eras of life?

Sometimes I'd just love to hit the rewind button and totally change everything about my college experience. Well, not my roommate (just to clarify since I know you're probably reading this...haha). And I'm not saying I want to go through the classes and studying part either. BUT seriously, sometimes I wonder what it would be like to go back and relive the social life part as the person I am today rather than who I was back then. Oh man...I would have gotten involved in SO much more...done SO much more...been so much more fun! Why in the world did I hole up in my room so much?! Why didn't I get to know people?! I can't even use the excuse that I was investing time in studying. Nope...I was just flat out lame.  haha

And then there's a whole other level...

Sometimes I'd just love to rewrite portions of life when I made stupid choices; gave into temptations; let other people's opinions speak louder than the truth; rushed ahead with decisions before consulting God's wisdom. Actually, there are even some parts of life that I honestly just want to completely erase. I wish they never took place. I don't even want a second chance to live through them again. Can we just pretend like they never even happened and move on?

But there's something I've started to learn and really understand over the last few years. There's something about the past that's made me who I am today. There are seasons of life I'm not proud of, there are things that I should have handled a whole lot better, and there are moments when I've completely messed up. But without going through those rough spots and working through a lot of painful and hard times, I wouldn't have learned most of the invaluable life lessons that are behind why I'm where I am right now.

There's something to be said about the wisdom that comes as you live life. There's a difference between head knowledge and really understanding through experience. And while it might be nice to be able to rewind and be granted a do-over, I can honestly say that I wouldn't want to trade any of my past if it meant giving up what I've learned through it. And as long as I keep my eyes open to God's leading, He will continue to use every facet of life to continually mold me and help me grow.

Road Trip Drama

You really get to know someone when you're stuck in a car together for 12 hours on a road trip. Granted, most of the time it's always more entertaining and fun to have someone driving with you, but sometimes...well...did I mention that you're STUCK in a car together?!

On my most recent road trip south to Atlanta there was a lot of random silence for some reason. Typically a TON of talking makes time pass quickly, but on the trip down it seemed like we just didn't have much to chat about?? Really weird. (perhaps part of it was that someone was playing angry birds on my iPhone for two hours straight, but nahhhh...it couldn't be that...haha) Let's just say I spent a lot of time listening to music while I drove. If you had asked me at the time, I seriously wouldn't have been able to tell you if I was singing, humming, or whistling with the music along the way or not. I swear I do it unconsciously! It just comes out!

Of course, I learned later in the week that apparently the answer should have been fairly obvious...
The grand culmination: sitting at a stand still waiting to get out of the arena parking lot after our last session of the conference was over. There was a lot to process, so we sat in my car without talking for at least a half hour with Hillsong playing in the background.

Then came the question: Can you ever just listen to music without humming along?

Crap. I'm thinking: Well, if you ask it like that, then I'm guessing it's a pretty rhetorical question, isn't it?

Haha...oh, to be a fly on the wall that day!! Here's how I envision parts of our trip may have looked:

Aaaaahahahahaha!!! Ok, ok...perhaps that's just a touch overly dramatic. Or is it?!  haha! (don't hurt me, Lulu!)

I will say that the trip back north was the exact opposite. It was filled with phenomenal conversation, complete with both crying and laughter. AND there was even exhuberant singing and car dancing with complete participation from all occupants of the vehicle! Now THAT's more like it. And therefore, I have qualified it as one of the GREATEST road trips EVER. :-)

Perfect

Does Mr. Perfect remind you of someone?
Go look in the mirror.
Any resemblance?
No.
Oh, really?!
Interesting. Well, let's keep that in mind...

There's a common thought that a lot of people have about the church that I think is terribly sad. So many think that they need to be perfect in order to set foot inside a church. That if the church really knew everything about them, they wouldn't be accepted. That they'll never escape the sideways glances, the pointed fingers, and the whispered accusations. Their past will always haunt them, and they'll never be good enough. And unfortunately, it seems that the church is often actually the root problem behind propagating this attitude, because far too often these scenarios are exactly what's happened.

It breaks my heart to hear that in the one place where people should be able to experience grace, love, and forgiveness, they are met with judgment, contempt, and guilt. It makes me sad to see how often people who need to be loved on the most are the ones who are shut out most frequently. I know...because I've done it. And it makes me sick to think about how awful that is. It's so far opposite from how Jesus treated people, and it's wrong. It's even more upsetting to realize how many times we as the church get in the way and destroy Jesus' message by being so self-righteous.

No one is perfect. Period.

There's nothing that we could ever do to earn our salvation, and there's nothing that we've ever done that can't be covered by God's grace and love. It's only by the grace of God that we have been saved!

Once you were dead because of your disobedience and your many sins. You used to live in sin, just like the rest of the world, obeying the devil. All of us used to live that way, following the passionate desires and inclinations of our sinful nature. By our very nature we were subject to God’s anger, just like everyone else. But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much, that even though we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!)

So next time you're tempted to think you're better than someone else, think again. The next time you start to think that you're perfect, go look in the mirror again. I guarantee that you won't see Mr. Perfect looking back at you.

My apologies for the implied cuss word, but I love how Perry Noble lays it out so well in one of his blog posts:  “This Sh_t Is Awesome!”

Back Again

 She walked away at seventeen
She didn't wanna be anything He had for her
She took off running thinking freedom was somewhere else but in His care
Running away from His arms of liberty

But He never left her side
He never gave up tryin' to get through
How much He loves her still the same
And wants her back again

He's calling her

My love, come back again

She messed it up at twenty-one
She never thought she could repay the damage done
She took off running thinking there'd never be forgiveness for this shame
Running away from His arms of mercy

But He never left her side
He never gave up tryin' to get through
How much He loves her still the same
And wants her back again

He keeps calling her

My love, come back again

Now she's here at thirty-three
She's learned some things about life and Jesus along the way
She took off running thinking there's no other way to make it through
Running straight into His open arms of love

You see He's never left her side
He never gave up tryin' to get through
How much He loves her still the same
And wants her back again

Now He's holding her

My love, you're back again

To Whom Would I Go?

Often there are things that happen in life, and no matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to make sense of them. Trials come. Heartache overwhelms. Tragedies threaten.

Why would God allow someone so young to die?
Why would God let that marriage fail?
Why would God not step in and save her from abuse?
Why would God take that newborn before he has a chance to live?
Why would God leave her lonely year after year?
Why would God not provide a job after searching for months?
Why would God not heal the wound, provide for the need, and fix the problem?

It's times like these when we find ourselves facing a decision. It seems like it would be so easy to just give up. To just stop believing. To walk away from God and look for answers somewhere else.

In John 6, Jesus' disciples had been listening to things Jesus was teaching them, and they were finding it incredibly hard to swallow. They didn't get it. They didn't understand. They didn't believe. People who actually saw Jesus in person and witnessed His miracles...even those people had their doubts. They found themselves facing a decision. And John tells us their response: At this point many of his disciples turned away and deserted him.

This was a breaking point for a lot of people, and there will come a point in all of our lives when we, too, will have to make a choice. John continues: Then Jesus turned to the Twelve and asked, “Are you also going to leave?”

What will you do? Will you abandon Him, too? Will you stop believing? Stop trusting? Will you give up and walk away because it hurts too much and you just can't make sense of it? You don't understand, so God can't possibly be in control, right? So you give up and try to find some other solution.

I just love the way Peter responds to Jesus' question though: “Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words that give eternal life. We believe, and we know you are the Holy One of God."

For Peter, there's no other alternative. There's no other answer. There's no other solution. Jesus is the source of life and the reason to persevere, and Peter's only viable response is to follow Jesus' lead even if it doesn't always make sense.

Personally, I've found that when I'm facing those walls of bewilderment and frustration and confusion, the only time I find peace is when I come to the same conclusion that Peter does. There's a moment of surrender when you lay it at Jesus' feet. Lord, to whom would I go...if  not to You? There comes a point when you have to believe that He is Who He says He is and trust Him. Trust that He is bigger and wiser and more powerful than anything you might be facing. He's in control, and He has your best interests at heart. It's in that moment when peace breaks through all the things I don't understand, and somehow I know it's going to be ok.

Guy On A Buffalo

So, I was recently introduced to the guy on a buffalo by some new friends from South Carolina.  I must admit, at first I was sitting there with an incredulous look on my face thinking: Really? This is supposed to be funny?

But now I can't help but laugh.  It's so ridiculous, and yet hilarious all at the same time! 

Guy On A Buffalo - Episode 1 (Bears, Indians, & Such)

Guy On A Buffalo - Episode 2 (Orphans, Cougars, & Whatnot)

Guy On A Buffalo - Episode 3: Finale Part 1 (Origins, Villains, & The Like)

Guy On A Buffalo - Episode 4: Finale Part 2 (Rehab, Vengeance, & What Have You)

Hahaha...ok, so if you stuck with it and actually suffered through all four episodes, there's a chance that you still don't think it's funny.  But let it reuminate for a while, and you just might find yourself randomly singing guy on a buffalo without even thinking about it, and that, my friend, is the true joke! :-)

Appreciation

Going south and being away from the normal routine for a week really gave me fresh perspective on several fronts. For instance, I didn't realize how much I needed to be recharged, poured into, and refilled on a spiritual level. Yes, I go to church every week, and I love my church. But to me, being a part of a church is more about giving than receiving. But by volunteering in the area where I'm currently serving for the majority of Sunday mornings, church doesn't usually end up being the place where I'm "fed". So I'm realizing that if I'm not seeking other sources for personal spiritual enrichment, my tank slowly starts to deplete. If there's no source of input, then it's not going to take long before the quality, energy, and effectiveness of my output starts to suffer. And that's just not healthy. I want to serve in excellence and always give out of my best.

October is Pastor Appreciation Month, and based on what I've experienced serving within the church as a volunteer, it's made me wonder how much more our pastors need to be recharged, poured into, and refilled. Pastors certainly have been given an amazing gift. Ephesians speaks to a few of the spiritual gifts that God's given certain people: It was he who gave some to be...pastors and teachers, to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up.

Have you ever stopped to think what a monumental task God's entrusted into the hands of your pastor? He's commissioned them to safeguard His people. He's empowered them with His vision. He's delegated incredible responsibility on their shoulders. And He's called them to an even higher standard within that position of leadership. We tend to look up to them and without realizing it, we set them on a pedestal. But do we ever realize that even though God has gifted them for this very purpose, they, too, are human? Pastors not only take on the spiritual burden of their flock, but in the process, they also often end up taking on their emotional and physical burdens as well. It's just the nature of the position.

Pastors have terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days. But in our minds, they're not allowed to be grumpy or get annoyed. They're not allowed to just plain not like someone. They're not allowed to get ticked off and cuss someone out. They go through normal every day life trials just like we do. They, too, hit spiritual lows.  But the difference is that while we have the option to just show up on Sunday, serve, and leave, pastors, on the other hand, rarely get a day off. Ministry is their life, and while it can be incredibly rewarding, it is not easy. So I wonder again how much more do our pastors need to be recharged, poured into, and refilled?

Encouragement can be extended in multiple formats, but I think one of the easiest ways is typically the one that's most often neglected...to simply convey our appreciation. To express our gratitude. To just say thank you.

So, I'd like to say thank you to my pastor, Curt Seaburg, at Victory Church.
Thank you for running hard after God's heart and leaning into Him and His leading first and foremost above all else. Thank you for stepping up and delivering God's Word week after week. Thank you for your passion for the lost and your desire to see every single soul come to know Jesus as their Savior. Thank you for loving your wife and displaying an amazing example of what God designed marriage to look like. Thank you for being real, honest, and transparent. Thank you for granting us "permission" to lighten up and laugh in church. :) Thank you for pushing us to step outside of our comfort zones and really grow in our relationship with God. Thank you for pursuing excellence across the board. And thank you for pointing us to Christ every single week.

Sufficient

Have you ever been reading through Scripture and caught yourself glazing over the passages that you've known all your life.  They're so familiar that you don't take the time to stop and really let them sink in. But I love when those exact same verses coming roaring back with renewed meaning and strength during certain seasons of life. God's Word is living and active, and I'm so thankful He still breathes life into our hearts through His Word.

I watched a North Point service online this weekend, and one of those verses has caught my heart and mind with a new depth.

Paul writes in 2 Corinthians how he pleaded with God multiple times to take away a "thorn in his flesh". It was a torment to him. But despite his prayers, God says "No" outright.

Wouldn't you think that with all the incredible work that Paul was doing to spread the gospel, God might step in and help him out?  Wouldn't you think that Paul would be so much more effective if God would take away the thing that was ailing Paul?  Wouldn't you think God would want to make Paul as strong as possible so that he could do even greater things through him?

But God said, "No." 

Really?!  Why, God?! 

And then in verse 9, we see how God spoke into Paul's situation and Paul's subsequent response:

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

I love how Andy Stanley explains it: While we have permission to ask God to remove our thorns, God has the right to say no to our requests. God may choose to showcase His power on the stage of our weakness, but the question lies in how we are going to respond.

Are we going to question if God exists? Will we question His wisdom or falter in our willingness to trust Him? Do we continue to struggle to deal with the situation in our own strength? Or do we instead submit to God, trust that He is in control, and accept His answer of no. Because when we do, God gives us something in return - sustaining grace. His strength in our weakness is proof of His presence in our life. In our weakness, we will find that His power will sustain us through even our most difficult circumstances, and His grace is sufficient to cover every need.

Fear Not

I sat and absorbed a ton of amazing and encouraging thoughts from speakers both during the Catalyst conference and the awesome church services we attended when we were in Atlanta. And now I've come back home with a head full of swirling thoughts.

Some of them are probably fleeting.
Some of them need proper attention and follow through.
Some of them require some serious thought and prayer.

I've wondered off and on what thoughts are from God, and what are my own musings. I've wondered if God's driving certain desires, or if it's just a high that's been hanging on since I've gotten pumped full amazing goodness from the conference. I've wondered what change might look like, and I've been weighing the costs of remaining the same. I've wondered if some things that seem like crazy coincidences are actually God opening doors and setting up opportunities. I've wondered what the risks are...on both sides of the coin.

I went for a walk this weekend. I left my iPod at home. I just needed some time for silence. For solitude. For prayer. I can't say that I came back with some grand revelation, but I did come back with one overwhelming thought.

Somewhere along the way, God started breathing over my thoughts: Fear not. I will be with you wherever you go.

Seriously, God?  You're not going to tell me what to do?  You're not going to tell me where to go? You're not going to give me a clue?

Fear not. I will be with you wherever you go.

Ok, God, but what about "this" scenario? Do You think that's better than the other one? The other one would be harder, but maybe it could open some really amazing doors? But maybe You're orchestrating some really cool opportunities with "this" idea?

Fear not. I will be with you wherever you go.

Sometimes God doesn't really answer prayer flat out. Sometimes He lets us continue to search for Him and His direction and feel it out. Sometimes there really is no "right" answer. But I love it when despite all of the uncertainty we might still be facing, His promises flood in, quiet the voices raging in your head, and bring peace.

I'm sure my head will continue to swirl off and on, but I'm so glad that I can rest in God's promises and trust that He's got it all under control no matter what.

The Lord replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”

Godz Bodz

Tripp and Tyler do it again!  :-)

Who knew a worship service could be a full fledged workout session?!

I can't even begin to explain how funny I think this is...

Haha!  "Non-denom"!  :-)

Psalm 51

Generous in love- God, give grace! Huge in mercy- wipe out my bad record. Scrub away my guilt, soak out my sins in your laundry. I know how bad I've been; my sins are staring me down.

You're the One I've violated, and you've seen it all, seen the full extent of my evil. You have all the facts before you; whatever you decide about me is fair. I've been out of step with you for a long time, in the wrong since before I was born. What you're after is truth from the inside out. Enter me, then; conceive a new, true life.

Soak me in your laundry and I'll come out clean, scrub me and I'll have a snow-white life. Tune me in to foot-tapping songs, set these once-broken bones to dancing. Don't look too close for blemishes, give me a clean bill of health. God, make a fresh start in me, shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life. Don't throw me out with the trash, or fail to breathe holiness in me. Bring me back from gray exile, put a fresh wind in my sails! Give me a job teaching rebels your ways so the lost can find their way home. Commute my death sentence, God, my salvation God, and I'll sing anthems to your life-giving ways. Unbutton my lips, dear God; I'll let loose with your praise.

Going through the motions doesn't please you, a flawless performance is nothing to you. I learned God-worship when my pride was shattered. Heart-shattered lives ready for love don't for a moment escape God's notice.

Your Will Be Done

Overwhelmed by the unknown

Uncertain where to go

But You're so much bigger

So much greater

Greater than the understood

Greater than what I know

No matter the cost

Let Your will be done

If everything's lost

Let Your will be done

Take all that I am

I'll follow Your plan

Whatever it takes

Lord, have Your way

Let Your will be done in me

Overcome by fear and pain

Questions overflow

But You're so much bigger

So much greater

Greater than the unseen

Greater than what I know

No matter the cost

Let Your will be done

If everything's lost

Let Your will be done

Take all that I am

I'll follow Your plan

Whatever it takes

Lord, have Your way

Let Your will be done in me

You're so much bigger

So much greater

So much wiser

So much stronger

Just help me trust You

Help me trust in You

Catalyst Craziness

The Catalyst Conference isn't all serious intensity.  There's a ton of random crazy creativity thrown in the mix every year too.  It's one well rounded experience.  And it's awesome! 

Haha...and here are just a few of the crazy stunts that were included in the Catalyst East 2010 experience:

And I think this one was my favorite stunt of all:

Catalyst Atlanta 2011

The time has finally arrived! The day is finally here! We've been waiting all year for this amazing annual event!!

Catalyst Atlanta 2011 begins TODAY!!! 

I know I posted about my excitement over this back in June when I registered, but now that it's finally here, I am even more pumped up! I can't wait to sit and absorb all of it again this year!!  What a phenomenal line up of speakers:

Andy Stanley

Jim Collins

Priscilla Shirer

Dave Ramsey

Judah Smith

Mark Driscoll

Francis Chan

Dr. Cornel West

Blake Mycoskie

Joel Houston

David Kinnaman

Derreck Kayongo

Katie Davis

Learning invaluable leadership insights. Being refueled and inspired. Worshiping. Growing. Being challenged. Just plain having fun.  ...these just a few things that I'm looking forward to once again this year!

Here's just a small glimpse into what happened last year. I'm sure it will be just as awesome this time around! I can't believe I get to be a part of this TODAY!!!  :-)

Thinking Biblically

If your sole purpose is to follow Christ's leading, what benchmark do you use to measure how you're doing? When you look at your life, how do you determine if you're on the right track? Do you compare yourself to the standards of the world and culture around you?  What if we would instead place our life story within the context of the Bible?  Maybe what appears to be "weird" by today's standards, might look completely normal when you start thinking Biblically?

I love how Francis Chan put it during his talk at last year's Catalyst conference, and I'm so looking forward to hearing him again this week at Catalyst Atlanta 2011!!

Don't Jump

I love this little excerpt from Margaret Feinberg's Hungry for God:

A few years ago, my husband Leif and I adopted a little puppy. As soon as the soft brown ball of fur crawled into the palms of my hands, I was in love. We named him Hershey.

After extensive training, Hershey was ready to go anywhere and everywhere. If dogs earned airline status, he'd be triple platinum. Though it sounds silly, sometimes God uses Hershey to teach me spiritual lessons. My furry friend is a living, breathing example of unconditional loyalty and love.

Because Hershey weighs less than five pounds, I carry him with me rather than use a leash. When Hershey stands still and trusts me, I scoop him up in a single motion. But sometimes he thinks I need his help. As I'm leaning down, he'll try to jump up, creating a klutzy moment in which I have to scramble so he doesn't fall. In the split second I'm trying to grab hold of my dog, I've sensed the Holy Spirit whispering, You do this sometimes too.

Like Hershey, I don't always trust my master. I think he needs my help. When I jump to take matters into my own hands, rather than trust God, I find everything falling apart. God is faithful and gracious enough to prevent me from thumping on the ground, but these moments remind me of the importance of relying and waiting on him.

Noodling

So here's the story. A month or so ago I was told by an ATL friend: "Don't worry. The Braves will be in the playoffs, and we will beat you guys...mark my words!" That was only one of many audacious statements he made touting the triumph that the Braves would eventually ultimately achieve over the Phillies in the post season. The grand culmination came a few weeks ago when I challenged his empty threats, and it was determined that a wager needed to be set. And that's when I was backed into potentially having to do one of the worst things I can possibly think of! Silly me...here I was thinking along the lines of a free dinner or some kind of royal treatment.

Nope. Not even close...

If the Braves took down the Phillies, I would have to go noodling!

Yes. That's right. I said NOODLING!!! I instantly regretted raising the challenge.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with what noodling entails, just watch. I'm thinking you'll understand my incredulous reaction.

And if that doesn't convince you, try it bare handed!! Are you insane?!?!

So you can imagine that I've been rooting extra hard for the Phillies over the last several weeks!  And, while I know it's neither kind nor becoming to kick someone while they're down, I probably was a touch too exuberant when I rubbed in the Phillies sweep of the Braves to finish off their season. (please count this as my public apology!) BUT, in my defense, I was honestly mostly just ecstatically relieved that I was off the hook for the noodling excursion!!!

And now you might be wondering what amazing prize I will be rewarded as the obvious victor?! Yeah...let's just say that somehow in my flabbergasted state of shock, we never got around to establishing my side of the deal.
Shoot. ;-)

Worth it

I wrote earlier this week that I wish every woman would come to realize just how valuable they really are. And I would especially love to drill that sense of significance straight into the heart of every young girl. You are worthy of respect.  You are worth waiting for. You deserve to be treated with honor. You are precious. And you should be cherished and pursued. I long to see you radiate self assurance, a sense of self sufficiency, and a knowledge that you are, indeed, worth it.

Please don't misunderstand me. I am the farthest thing from a feminist. I'm not getting up on any soapbox as an advocate for woman's rights. I'm not rallying for female dominance. And I'm completely sold out to the Biblical command, "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord". I'm just saying that I'm also totally sold out to the rest of the command, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church".

It flat out breaks my heart to see so many women who don't see themselves the way that God sees them. It breaks my heart when I see women settling for less than God's best for their lives. It breaks my heart to see women close themselves off so tightly and put up so many defenses that they never allow themselves to be known and truly loved. It breaks my heart to see women diving into unhealthy relationships to avoid being alone. It breaks my heart when I see women jumping at anyone who will show interest in them. It breaks my heart to see women giving away pieces of their heart and their bodies that they can never get back.

So to the young woman who is searching for love, looking for acceptance, longing for someone to fill that empty space...please know that you are worth more than a one night stand. You deserve to be treated well. You should never be made to feel little and discarded. You are worth being pursued. Your boundaries are worth keeping and need to be respected. You need to hold tight to your standards. And if you're currently in a dating relationship where you're belittled, where you have to walk on eggshells, if you're just flat out not able to be you, and especially if he hasn't made Jesus a priority in his life...RUN AWAY...NOW!!! I know it will hurt. I know it sucks to sit at home on a Friday night with nothing to do, but trust me...staying is only hurting you more. God has SO much more for your life. You are precious to Him, and He wants only the best for His daughters. Run to Him. He loves you more than any person here on earth could ever begin to love you. He accepts you just the way you are, and only He can truly satisfy that empty space. You are worth it!

In Ephesians, God gives us an amazing picture of the way you should be treated by comparing our earthly relationships to the way Christ relates to us:

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church– for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery–but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

I realize that's a pretty high standard, and humanity will never be able to perfectly mirror Christ. But I also don't believe that God put this in the Bible without expecting us to do our best to follow it. I believe this is what God intended for all of us to experience. THIS is God's best for us, and I firmly believe that He will honor your commitment to pursue His best for your life. You are worth it!!

And if you're interested, I love how Perry Noble comes straight out and addresses dating/relationships without holding back.  These posts he's written are awesome:

• Every Single Dude and “Dude-ett” Should Read This!!!
• How To Be Pursued By A Guy
• Six Signs The Dating Relationship Is In Trouble…
• Five Things A Single Dude NEEDS To Know…
• 10 Reasons I Should Not Be Dating Him/Her
• How To Pursue A Young Lady–Four Things You Should Know
• Top Five Temptations Single People Face When Considering A Relationship
• Advice For Single People!!!
• I/We Should Break Up Because…
• 18 Myths Singles Believe…And A Quick Note About Sunday

It Is Good

I love this excerpt from the last chapter of Shauna Niequist's Cold Tangerines:

I have to remind myself that [life] is good. I have to create hope in my life, because there's something inside me that has radar for the bad parts of life. I walk into the kitchen and all I can see are crumbs on the counter, and I look in the mirror and don't even see my face, I just see all the potential wrinkles forming. I have a dark, worst-case scenario sensor, and it takes over. It's all true. There are crumbs on the counter. I am definitely getting wrinkles. I just don't want to live in only that reality.

Because there is another reality. A better one. Hope and redemption and change are real, and they're happening all around me. So I choose to act out of that reality, because the other one makes life too hard, day after day. Life is painful, and we carry with us so much disappointment and heartbreak. But I'm fighting to save some space inside me where I can create hope. I can't live there in the disappointment anymore. I've missed whole seasons of my life. I look back and all I remember is pain. I guess I went to work or class during that time, but I don't really remember. I wasted a lot of time wishing I was different. I didn't love the gift of life because I was too busy being angry about the life I was given. I wanted it to be different. But being angry didn't change those things. It just wasted time. I can't take away the things that have happened to you or to me, but what we have, maybe as a reward for getting through all the other days, is today. Today is a gift. And if we have tomorrow, tomorrow will be a gift.

It's rebellious, in a way, to choose joy, to choose to dance, to choose to love your life. It's much easier and much more common to be miserable. But I choose to do what I can do to create hope, to celebrate life, and the act of celebrating connects me back to that life I love. We could just live our normal, day-to-day lives, saving all the good living up for someday, but I think today, just plain today, is worth it. I think it's our job, each of us, to live each day like it's a special occasion, because we've been given a gift. We get to live in this beautiful world. When I live purposefully and well, when I dance instead of sitting it out, when I let myself laugh hard, when I wear my favorite shoes on a regular Tuesday, that regular Tuesday is better.

Right now, around our house, all the leaves are falling, and there's no reason that they have to turn electric bright red before they fall, but they do, and I want to live like that. I want to say, "What can I do today that brings more beauty, more energy, more hope?" Because it seems like that's what God is saying to us, over and over. "What can I do today to remind you again how good this life is? You think the color of the sky is good now, wait till sunset. You think oranges are good? Try a tangerine." He's a crazy delightful mad scientist and keeps coming back from the lab with great, unbelievable new things, and it's a gift. It's a gift to be a part of it.

Let's echo his words, and let our lives speak those words: It is good.

Valuable

There's one thing I wish every single female out there would come to realize, take to heart, and truly embrace...

I think if we look long enough and hard enough in the mirror, we'll all see a scared little girl staring back at us. I don't care how self-assured you are. I don't care how much you seem to have your life put together. I don't care if you've got a Barbie figure and an Einstein mind. When we start to peel back the layers we've built up around our hearts, there are always insecurities of some sort.

I don't know when it started for you...

• Some little girls have been scarred early on in childhood. It might not have been something traumatic. Sometimes she just doesn't have the privilege of crawling up into her daddy's lap and knowing that he loves her. She's not shown how precious she really is. And a few bricks start being laid around her little heart to protect it from disappointment.
• Some girls grow into adolescence and start comparing themselves to all the other girls around them. She's trying to climb the ladder, but never seems to be good enough or pretty enough. She alters her image. She tries to fit in and be popular. And a few bricks are laid around her heart to protect it from insignificance.
• Some girls grow up in a relatively safe environment, but start to flounder when facing the realities of facing life alone. She sees her friends all get married, and she starts to wonder what's wrong with her. She starts dating someone who doesn't meet standards...just so she won't be alone...and she gives away pieces of herself that can't be taken back. And a few bricks are laid around her heart to protect it from guilt and shame and regret. 
• Some girls marry the man of their dreams, and then the dream crumbles in the harsh reality of life. She wilts during arguments and pulls away during conflict. She can't understand why the fairy tale isn't coming true. And a few bricks are laid around her heart to protect it from abandonment and loneliness.

Your story may be something completely different, but it's still led to a similar fundamental weakness. And if the right buttons are pushed long enough and hard enough, your determined resolve will disintegrate. Your story may be different, but I think all stories come back to the same bottom line issue...to the same underlying question: What is the foundation of your self-worth?

If there was only one thing that I could communicate to women of all ages, it's this: "You are valuable." 

The problem is that we tend to look for our value in all the wrong places. We look for approval from people. We try to fit a certain mold; look a certain way; maintain a certain weight. We seek happiness in relationships; in accomplishments; through children. And yet we never get to know who God created us to be as individuals. We never learn to find contentment in Him. We never realize how unique and wonderful He's made us. And ultimately, we fail to realize that we are beloved daughters of the Creator of the universe, and as such, we are significant and valuable.

There is nothing here on earth that will satisfy that longing in your heart, and you will continue to find futility in searching for significance outside of a relationship with your Father who loves you more than anything. Let that sink in. It's seems like such a simple concept, but it's one that holds depth beyond comprehension: Jesus loves you. [He has] loved you with an everlasting love. He loves you just the way you are. You are beautiful. He's calling, "Arise, come, my darling; my beautiful one, come with me." You are a priceless treasure, and you are exceedingly valuable.

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

5k Run

I never thought this day would come, but it's official. I'm finally doing it. I'm running in my very first 5k on Saturday. I've run off and on over the last few years. Granted, most of the time it's more off than on, but still. I've moaned and complained about how much I hate running. Seriously, when I would run while playing soccer in high school, it was a completely different ball game (no pun intended). It was totally different than running just to run. There was a point. There was something to run after. Now that I think about it, I've even whined in a blog post or two about how much I loathe running. And yet, I keep doing it. Because it's good for me. *sigh*

And now I'm actually running in an organized event?! I'm running with a bunch of other people?! I'm actually being timed?! Oh boy. I must be crazy. OR...it must be for a good cause!! Yeah, I think that's a much better explanation by far! Because it is, indeed, for an incredible cause...for an amazing little boy!!  Check out his story and details for the race here.

Come out and run, walk, bike, skate, or even crawl with us. Just come out. Come and support this wonderful family.

Side note: I love the crazy, awesome staff at Victory Church. This video truly captures two of them in all their glory. haha

Child Proof

I've owned my home for...well, let me think...  Wow.  It will be 10 years in December.  Oh my word.  I must be getting old. ;-) 

I've made changes here and there. I've painted. I've slowly pulled together coordinating pictures and accent pieces over the years. But for the most part, the main large pieces of furniture have remained the same. Let's just say that when you live somewhere for that long by yourself, there can be a tendency to get used to the way things are. And if you're like me (God help you if you are...haha), you can walk through your every day routine without even thinking, because everything has a specific spot, and it will most certainly be right where you left it when you go to reach for it the next time.  There's also a tendency to not even notice particular items and totally overlook them, because that's just where they've always been. That is...until you bring a child into the picture.

A few weeks ago, I was finally able to hang out with some dear friends that I don't get to see nearly enough, and they brought their precious wee ones with them to my house for the afternoon. Granted, one of them is still a baby, and he could do no more harm than to drool on my carpet. :-) But the same cannot be said of the sweetest one year old toddler girl I know. She really was so good, but everyone gets a little naughty when they're way overdue for a nap, right? And it was that afternoon when I realized how child proof my house is NOT. My collection of wooden elephants that my grandfather got me overseas became the first fun target of attention. Oh, and all the pretty buttons on electronic media equipment are so fun to push. The porcelain teapot on the bottom shelf, of course, just had to be touched. Then when all breakables were finally put up out of reach, those stairs...ohhhhh those stairs were there just asking to be climbed. And I will never understand what draws kids toward electrical sockets. Their tiny holes are like magnets for little fingers!

Seriously, when I invited my friends over to hang out, I never once thought about any of those things! Apparently I'm a touch inexperienced. haha!  And in my friend's defense, she really handled her daughter's curious fingers so amazingly well. She disciplined out of love, and she said "no" to protect her daughter from harm. I loved watching her parenting skills in action. I have so much to learn, and I'm so glad I have great examples all around me!

It's surprising how many things there are in our own lives that we've lived with for so long that we just start to overlook them. We get comfortable in our routine. We don't even realize it when we have things that need to be cleaned up in our hearts. And if we actually do recognize that there's mess, we're the only ones who see it. We can justify it. We can sweep it under the rug. And no one is the wiser. That is...until you bring a friend into the mix. Someone to hold you accountable. Someone who will point out those areas in your life that are fragile. That are dangerous. That need to be cleaned up. That really should be off limits.

We're all a work in progress.
We can all tend to be blind to our own deficiencies.
We all need a wake up call from time to time.
We're all in need of a little child proofing in our lives.

I have so much to learn, so I love surrounding myself with friends who are great examples of God's grace, love, mercy, and truth. Friends who will hold me accountable. Friends who will not only point out my weaknesses, but will, in turn, help me child proof my heart. And I love planting God's Word within my mind. Setting it like a seal over my soul. Because it's for my good. It's for my own protection.

Proverbs 4
Listen, my sons, to a father’s instruction;
pay attention and gain understanding.

When I was a boy in my father’s house,
still tender, and an only child of my mother,
he taught me and said,
“Lay hold of my words with all your heart;
keep my commands and you will live.
Get wisdom, get understanding;
do not forget my words or swerve from them.
Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you;
love her, and she will watch over you.
Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom.
Though it cost all you have, get understanding.

Hold on to instruction, do not let it go;
guard it well, for it is your life.
Do not set foot on the path of the wicked
or walk in the way of evil men.
Avoid it, do not travel on it;
turn from it and go on your way.

The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn,
shining ever brighter till the full light of day.
But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness;
they do not know what makes them stumble.

Above all else, guard your heart,
for it is the wellspring of life.