Redefined

Neither love nor rejection from the finite will define my worth.
Neither my accomplishments nor my failures will define my value.

 My Creator, my Father, my Savior, my God...He alone holds that right.
He redefines the shame I have felt.
He redefines the lies I have told myself.
I am redefined by His grace.
I am redefined in His truth.

I am all that He says I am.

 

My identity is found in Christ alone.
My confidence is in Christ and who I am in Him.

He is faithful when I am faithless.
He is trust when I doubt.

He is able when I'm weak.
He is love when I am abandoned.
He is wisdom when I don't understand.
He is joy when I am heart broken.
He is forgiveness when I fall.
He is worthy when I don't feel good enough.
He is patience when I'm overwhelmed.
He is hope when I am discouraged.
He is truth when I'm uncertain or deceived.
He is freedom and salvation.
 

God help me to see.

Help me to hear.

Help me to know Your heart.
I am worthy because You have chosen me.
I am rescued.

I am redeemed.

I am restored.
I am made complete in You.
I am Yours.

I am Your Beloved.

In Your Eyes

 

Lover of my soul, I'm coming back to You

Running back to You, stumbling

Lover of my soul, I'm crying out to You

Pleading for Your grace, and when You see me...

 

I'm beautiful in Your eyes

Joy and delight in Your eyes

Perfectly made in Your eyes

Love of Your life in Your eyes

 

Lover of my heart, I'm giving all to You

Offering all of me, surrendering

Lover of my heart, I'm laying down my life

A willing sacrifice, and when You see me...

 

I'm beautiful in Your eyes

Joy and delight in Your eyes

Perfectly made in Your eyes

Love of Your life in Your eyes

 

You don't see the shame that's held me down

You don't see the scars of past gone wrong

There's no more pain and no more night

You've turned my darkness into light

Perseverance

 

I've been through a lot of ups and downs over the years.  We all have. 
Trials take on various forms: 

Pain.  Betrayal.  Hurt.  Sickness.  Disappointment.  Heartache.  Loss.

But James 1:2-4 says to consider all of that pure joy?!  Come on, how can I be JOYFUL when I'm going through my own personal hell on earth??  There's those questions of "why me?!" and "will this ever get easier?!" and even sometimes the question of "where is God in all of this?!?!".

Yet in the middle of it all, I know God is there.  He's walking through it with me; more often carrying me through it.  Holding me when I cry.  Patiently helping me sort through the anger and bitterness that threatens to well up.  Protecting my heart when I throw childish temper tantrums.  Listening to my often times irrational reasonings and attempts to hold on.  Giving me strength to make it through another day or even to just take my next breath.

And then it comes...
It comes when I surrender.  It comes when I let go and quit trying to control.  It comes when I stop selfishly dwelling on how things aren't going the way I planned.  It comes when I forgive.  It comes when I shut up and really listen to God's heart.  It comes when I force myself into a reality check and ask if I'm really trusting God?  Do I trust that God loves me and is working His best for my life?  Do I trust that God will never leave me or abandon me?  Do I trust that God is always in control even when I don't understand?

Sometimes it comes slowly at first, and sometimes it's like an overwhelming wave that crashes and envelops. But it comes...

Joy.

The trial may not go away, but it comes...renewed strength and peace and yes...joy.

I think the part that gets me these days most often is that PERSEVERANCE piece though.  I've been loving how quickly and graciously God seems to bring my focus back to Him.  But just because I trust Him and continue to pursue Him doesn't mean that I don't lose hope along the way.  It's so easy to fall into a cycle.  Completely and genuinely trusting for a while, but then circumstances don't change.  Joy starts waning.  The old voices of doubt creep in.  And before I know it, I'm right back in the thick of things.  It's so frustrating!  But that's the exact point when my faith stirs my heart to keep pressing forward in perseverance.

He's promised He'll give me wisdom (v. 5).  He's promised a crown of life as a reward for my patient endurance (v. 12).  He gives me freedom and blessings as I follow and obey His Word (v. 25).  Every good and perfect gift comes from my heavenly Father (v.17).  And God once again takes my hand and shows me who HE is. He lovingly reminds me of His faithfulness. That He is trustworthy. That He is in control. That He is always working all things together for my good.

And then it comes again...joy.  :-)

It's You

Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

But as for me, I will always have hope;

I will praise you more and more.

My mouth will tell of your righteousness,

of your salvation all day long,

though I know not its measure.

I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, O Sovereign LORD;

I will proclaim your righteousness, yours alone.

My lips will shout for joy

when I sing praise to you -

I, whom you have redeemed.

Psalm 71

There is a light in the dark

That's come to make us new

Come to heal our hearts

God it's You

There is a hope for the weak

That's come to show us the truth

Come to be all we need

God it's You

God of all creation

King of all the nations

The universe declares His praise

Can you hear it rising

Over the horizon

Come and join redemption's song

It's You

God it's You

You are the light in the dark

You've come to make us new

Come to heal our hearts

God it's You

God it's You

God of all creation

King of all the nations

The universe declares His praise

Can you hear it rising

Over the horizon

Come and join redemption's song

It's You

God it's You

You are worthy

You are worthy

You are worthy, God

You are worthy

You are worthy

You are worthy, God

Surrender

I've been thinking a lot about surrender and what that really means. What does that look like practically in every day life? Does it mean completely letting go of dreams? Does it mean defeat and loss? Does it mean giving up completely on desires that run deeply to the core of our hearts?

We hold so tightly to the thought of one day. We try to imagine what it would be like if all our chasings and strivings suddenly would all come together. What would happen if that windfall actually came? What if all our planning actually panned out the way we wanted every step of the way? What if one day finally arrived, and we could be who think we want to be; do what we think we want to do; be with who we think we want to be with. Our dreams of one day turned into reality.

Much of the time the things we hold on to the tightest are those inmost longings. We yearn for something or someone to fill a void...that deep ache of the soul. We scramble to do anything and everything to orchestrate the outcome the way we believe is best. But even when we're just simply waiting on God and praying earnestly like we're "supposed to do", that once truly healthy desire can become an obsession and morph into an ugly oppressive mental trap that eats away at our resolve and robs us of our joy.
Doubts form.
Resentment builds.
Bitterness starts taking root.

I like to think I know what's best for me, but really, I don't have a clue. It's like I keep trying to shove that square peg into that confounded round hole, wonder why nothing seems to work right, and then have the audacity to keep pushing. Maybe I'm supposed to eventually fulfill that dream of filling that space, but until I'm willing to surrender that square peg and allow God to guide me in His good timing, it's only going to be futile and frustrating.

Surrender. I don't think it necessarily means completely giving up on God given dreams and desires. But I do think it means allowing God access to those sacred places that we're not willing to let go of and offering them to Him. Laying them at His feet and relinquishing control. Declaring Thy will be done and really meaning it, because He has promised:

I will lead the blind by ways they have not known,
along unfamiliar paths I will guide them;
I will turn the darkness into light before them
and make the rough places smooth.
These are the things I will do;
I will not forsake them.

Isaiah 42:16

I'm starting to realize that surrender is God's antidote to the cage we create for ourselves as we plan for one day. I'm beginning to experience surrender as something completely liberating. I want to trust my life in God's hands...the God who controls the universe. I want that freedom that's found in surrendering my mediocre way of doing things and embracing His perfect plans and His way of accomplishing them. God's way is always, always better.

Blessed is the man who fears the LORD,

who finds great delight in his commands.

Even in darkness light dawns for the upright,

for the gracious and compassionate and righteous man.

Surely he will never be shaken;

a righteous man will be remembered forever.

He will have no fear of bad news;

his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD.

His heart is secure, he will have no fear;

in the end he will look in triumph on his foes.

Psalm 112

When It Becomes Real...

To sit within the isolation of I'm the only one is oppressive.
To feel the burden of I'm the only one is overwhelming.
To live life believing I'm the only one is a bleak and lonely existence.

But when we're willing to let down our guard
...that's when it becomes real.

When we invite someone into that partitioned inner sanctum of our soul
...that's when it becomes real.

When we reveal that sacred hidden place we can't let anyone see
...that's when it becomes real.

When we uncover the dirt we've tried so hard to beautify
...that's when it becomes real.

When we openly shed tears of grief and pour out our true heart's cry
...that's when it becomes real.

Friendship becomes real, and subsequently, I'm the only one loses its debilitating grip.

Together brings an instant sense of relief and peace. Friendships like no other form out of shared anguish and are bound as battles are fought together side by side. We aren't alone in our struggles. In our fears. Our hurts. Our worries. In our past mistakes.

When we're tempted to listen to the lie of I'm the only one, I pray that we remember the reality found through true friendships. And even when our earthly friendships fall short, I pray that we remember that our faithful Father will never fail us. We are never, ever alone...

The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” 

Second Chance

I can't get enough of this song and the others on the Rend Collective Experiment's newest album. 

Life born from death.

...don’t you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life. If we have been united with him like this in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection. For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin— because anyone who has died has been freed from sin. Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God. In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus.

I'm so thankful for second chances and the unfailing love of my heavenly Father...

My future hangs on this
You make preciousness from dust
Please don't
Stop creating me

Your blood offers the chance
To rewind to innocence
Reborn
Perfect as a child

Oh Your cross it changes everything
There my world begins again with You
Oh Your cross it's where my hope restarts
A second chance is Heaven's heart

When sin and ugliness
Collide with redemption's kiss
Beauty
Awakens by romance

Always inside this mess
I have found forgiveness
Mercy
As infinite as You

Oh Your cross it changes everything
There my world begins again with You
Oh Your cross it's where my hope restarts
A second chance is Heaven's heart

Countless second chances
We've been given at the cross

Fragments of brokenness
Salvaged by the art of grace
You craft
Life from our mistakes

Black skies of my regrets
Outshone by this kindness
New life
Dawns over my soul

Oh Your cross it changes everything
There my world begins again with You
Oh Your cross it's where my hope restarts
A second chance is Heaven's heart

Countless second chances
We've been given at the cross

Note to Self: Try

It's so simple, really.

No, I don't mean "trying".

I'm talking about "I can't".

It's easy.

Shying away from the difficult.

Refusing to give it a shot.

Remaining comfortable.

Safe.

Saying "I'm not good enough."

"I'm not ready."

"I'll fail."

"I'm scared."

"I can't."

It's easy to stay where you are.

Maintain the status quo.

Unchanged.

Unmoved.

The same.

It's easy.

But what gain is there in that?

What glory can you bring to God?

Is it really about you anyway?

If God asks you to go, don't you dare say "no".

You GO.

If God says, "do", don't say "I can't".

You DO.

God, Who spoke the universe into existence.

God, Who knit together your very essence.

If God is asking,

He will faithfully carry you through.

I don't want easy.

I want God's best.

I want to take a chance.

To answer His call.

To step out in faith.

I don't want easy.

I want the impossible.

What is impossible with men is possible with God.

Note to Self: Pity Parties

Pity parties. I used to be really good at throwing them.

Guest list: me, myself, and I.

They weren't much fun.

I certainly didn't invite God to them. Oh sure, I'd call Him crying. I'd ask Him to make it stop hurting so much. I'd ask Him "why me?!" He'd always show up wanting to help, but I'd never let Him in the door. For some reason every time He came knocking, I decided I liked my party just the way it was. A big, sad, self-pitying mess.

And then somewhere along the way I woke up. I grew up. I realized how much I was missing in my pity party of one. How selfish and self absorbed I was being. I was downright ungrateful. I was miserable. I was denying God the opportunity to take the chaos and confusion and turn it into something beautiful and flourishing.

I still throw my little pity parties at times, but thankfully I'm finding that I'm letting God in more often than not now. Sometimes we just sit and cry together, but I'm finding that He changes the bitter, angry tears to tears of joy and hope. Sometimes in the middle of it all, I just need to be reminded of where I've been and how far God has brought me. How He's faithfully carried me through so much. How time after time He's provided for my exact needs and blessed me abundantly even in the middle of some of the most painful times.

And so I thought I should write myself a little reminder...

Today's Note to Self: Pity Parties - don't talk yourself into hosting one...ever.

Trust

Yes, it's my wrist.
Yes, it's permanent.
Yes, there's a reason behind it...

It sounds like it should be so easy, right?

Just do it.

Go ahead...

Trust

Even after you've been let down over and over and over again.

Even after they've hurt you; maybe even lied to you.

Even after they say "I love you" and then walk away.

They say one thing and do another; make promises they fail to keep.

Trust is fragile. Once broken, repairs may never be possible. And even if the pieces can be picked up and patched together with care, the weakened fracture lines still exist. So we build up our walls in an effort to protect. We rely on our own efforts; our own strength. We resolve to never let anyone close enough to see our weaknesses for fear that we'll once again shatter.

Trust. It's a journey I've been on over the last several years.

Trust. It's a word that's become incredibly significant in my life.

Trust. It's a foundation that's digging deeper in my heart, growing roots, and slowly sprouting new amazing life.

trust
noun
1. reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.
2. confident expectation of something; hope.
3. a person on whom or thing on which one relies: God is my trust.

That's it...right there: #3. I think that's the key. In whom or in what are we placing our trust? Far too often we cling to the tangible. We cling to the finite. We cling to the fallible. And then we wonder why it fails us. We sit in shock and bewilderment when they let us down.

But I love that the dictionary, of all places, states the one true source of hope; the only truly reliable foundation: God is my trust.

There's the Bible verse that says, Trust in the Lord with all your heart. We learned it in Sunday school. And we've repeated it so often we can recite it from memory. But when does it move from repetition to a reality?

God is my trust. It's a statement...no, much more than that...a faith; a foundation; a hope; a way of life that's being interwoven into my heart.

It's more than just letting go. It's surrendering everything.

It's more than just tentatively testing the water. It's jumping in the deep end.

It's more than just believing. It's following through and acting on it.

It's more than just fighting a battle. It's knowing the war is already won.

It's realizing that I can't live this life on my own, nor do I want to. So no matter what happens, no matter where He leads, no matter if nothing makes sense...I'm making the declaration: God, You're soveriegn. You have control. You know what's best. It's all Yours. I'm going to TRUST You!

Even in the confusion and hurt: God is my trust.

Even when I don't understand: God is my trust.

Even if it seems impossible: God is my trust.

Even though everyone else will fail me: God is my trust.

Even when all hope seems to be gone: God is my trust.

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High

will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress,

my God, in whom I trust.”

He will cover you with his feathers,

and under his wings you will find refuge;

his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

If you make the Most High your dwelling-

even the LORD, who is my refuge-

then no harm will befall you,

no disaster will come near your tent.

For he will command his angels concerning you

to guard you in all your ways;

they will lift you up in their hands,

so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

“Because he loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him;

I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

He will call upon me, and I will answer him;

I will be with him in trouble,

I will deliver him and honor him.

With long life will I satisfy him

and show him my salvation.”

Psalm 91

A New Perspective

I took an little trip north to New Hampshire this past weekend. I've had an open invitation to visit for the last few years, and for some reason I've never acted on it. It's kind of crazy that I've ventured south multiple times, but never north. I think there were a couple of things that made me resist the thought.

It's cold.

It's dark.

Ok, so somehow I hit it on one of the most balmy weekends they've ever had for this time of year, so I can't complain about the temperature. Although, every time I walked outside I was mentally bracing myself for a breath snatching kind of cold that thankfully was not the case.

But it was dark. Like REALLY dark. And the darkness started closing in around 3:30. It was a little eerie to say the least. By the time 5:00 hit, I was heading up 91N through Vermont along the New Hampshire border, and it just got darker and darker. I could only see the road directly in front of me. There were hardly any other cars on the road. There were no lights anywhere. No nearby towns to shed a little illumination. I couldn't see the moon or stars. Nothing. I kept waiting for a moose to appear out of nowhere. The darkness was enveloping. Oppressive. All encompassing. Penetrating.

Contrast that with my drive back south Monday morning in the daylight. That same stretch of road took on a whole different feeling in the light. It was absolutely glorious! Breath taking! Completely gorgeous! I couldn't believe how much I had missed seeing on the way up because I just plain couldn't see it in the dark. I just kept looking around and soaking it all in. God surely outdid Himself with those incredibly beautiful mountains.

The sun decided to paint the sky with the type of rays that filter down through the billowing clouds in streams. The trees were a mix of those that had shaken themselves free from their autumn leaves and the evergreens that live up to their name. And while the snow wasn't laying as thickly as is pictured above, there were patches of white dotting the landscape combined with ice formations clinging to the sides of the rock face that had been exposed in order to make way for the highway.

I just kept repeating "Wow, God, WOW!!" and thanking Him for the gift. I couldn't help myself. It was majestically beautiful!

What a difference light makes. I gained an entirely new perspective. I kept thinking about how much I could have missed if I wouldn't have had the opportunity to drive through that area in the daylight. The oppressive darkness of the night was lifted and turned into one of the most glorious scenes I've ever witnessed.

And then I started wondering how much I could have missed if I wouldn't have God's light opening my eyes to the beautiful things He's been doing and orchestrating along this life journey of mine. What a difference His light has made in my life. His light has illuminated the most amazing and miraculous things. I know I have an entirely new perspective on everything that happens.
A new perspective on the people around me.
A new perspective on my purpose; my passions; my goals.
A new perspective on morality; on my actions, thoughts, and words.
A new perspective on compassion.
A new perspective on pain; hurt; disappointment; worry; tragedy.
A new perspective on contentment; joy.
A new perspective on failure.
A new perspective on friendships; community; relationships; marriage.
A new perspective on change; waiting; anticipation; growth.
A new perspective on everyday miracles; sunrises; ocean tides; babies; stars.
A new perspective on thankfulness; grace; mercy; faithfulness; trust.
A new perspective on life.

I'm so thankful for my Savior. I'm so thankful for the opportunity to walk through this life in His light. I'm so thankful He broke through the oppressive darkness that shrouded my heart and turned my life into something beautiful...something even more glorious than the scenery I witnessed this weekend.

“Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the LORD rises upon you. See, darkness covers the earth and thick darkness is over the peoples, but the LORD rises upon you and his glory appears over you."

2011 Best Of - Top 20 (part 3)

Continued from yesterday...

Here they are. The top 6 posts!

And I'm just a little concerned by how popular buffalo are among people who've stopped by my blog. ;-)

#6 - Transparency  ...loving the sweet freedom I've found in being open and real!

#5 - Breaking Free  ...recognizing the things that hold us back from really meeting with God.

#4 - Guy On A Buffalo  ...still singing his song and finding it hilarious! :-)

#3 - Standards  ...remaining steadfast and determined to never compromise, walking in obedience, and trusting that God's plans and timing are always best!!

#2 - Church vs. Culture  ...relating to the world we live in while retaining God's standards.

#1 - Sunday's Excitement  ...doing something more than just taking up space, serving, and letting God use you...it's EXCITING!!

2011 Best Of - Top 20 (part 2)

Continued from yesterday...

#13 - Kissing Stones  ...stop making excuses and start trusting our faithful Father.

#12 - Valuable  ...the one thing I wish I could communicate to women of all ages.

#11 - Worth It  ...never, ever settle for anything less than God's best.

#10 - I Love This Church  ...God deserves our excitement and our celebration!

#9 - Change  ...resting in God's peace no matter what He might ask me to change.

#8 - Goodbyes  ...saying goodbye to people you love and respect is never easy.

#7 - A Sure Bet  ...another 6 months, and I'm still in the clear! ;-)


(#6 - #1 tomorrow...)

2011 Best Of - Top 20 (part 1)

It's that time again...
The end of another year is fast approaching.
It's time to reflect.
Time to take inventory.
Time to see where we've been; how far we've come; where we'd like to be.

They say hindsight is 20/20, so I thought I'd take a look back on some of my posts that got the most traffic throughout the year.

It's interesting to see how all along I've actually been tracking where I've been; how far I've come; and where I'd like to be. I've loved watching the progression throughout the year. And I most especially love how vigilance and awareness of this progression have actually brought me so much closer to "where I'd like to be" in the process.

God is so good!  :)

#20 - Fear Not  ...resting in the peace of God's promises and trusting He's got it all under control.

#19 - Training  ...running the race that God's set before me and learning to run it well!

#18 - Noodling  ...a challenge and empty threats :)

#17 - Game of Life  ...how are you going to play?

#16 - Fleece  ...asking God to prove Himself and being ready to respond.

#15 - Being Present  ...where you are right now is God's place for you.

#14 - Flat Tires  ...so thankful for God's grace and salvation!!


(#13 - #7 tomorrow...)

2011 Best Of - Waiting

It seems like a long time since I compiled my thoughts on what I've been learning through the process of waiting.  I think it's one of the major themes of this last year.

Waiting...

I'm still waiting...

I'll probably always be waiting for something...

So I went back and read over my thoughts from earlier this year.
It's good to review.
And as I read, I'm seeing that they still hold fast and true.

It's something that will consistently continue to be ingrained in my heart. Something that I'm so thankful to still be learning and growing in as time flips forward into the new year.

Waiting...

Waiting...in Contentment

Waiting...with Expectation

Waiting...in Worship

Waiting...in the Interim

Waiting...with Shattered Dreams

2011 Best Of - Music

Music runs through my blood.
Sometimes raging.
Sometimes whispering.
But always circulating.

Notes.

Rhythms.

Songs.

Lyrics.

It's in my head all the time.
It flows through my heart all the time.
It comes out of my mouth all the time.

This past year produced some great new albums from some of my all time favorite artists and bands. I also made a few artist discoveries...some of whom have been around for a while, but I was sadly in the dark. There is always way too much music floating out there for me to pick an all time favorite, but here are a few of my favorite albums that came out this year.

2011 Year in Review -Best of: Music addition... 

Gungor - Ghost Upon The Earth

Matt Redman - 10,000 Reasons

Sleeping At Last - Yearbook Collection

Mat Kearney - Young Love

Hillsong - God Is Able

Eddie Kirkland - Here & Now EP

Coldplay - Mylo Xyloto

  

Bethel Live - Be Lifted High

Seryn - This Is Where We Are

 NeedtoBreathe - The Reckoning

You Are The Reason

The stars hang in the sky

The newborn's first cry

The world turns a new day

The rain waters this clay

My life has meaning

My selfishness fading

My heart softens

My sin's forgotten

Jesus You are

You are the reason

The waves break on the shore

The birds high above soar

The rest found in the night

The sun giving us sight

My past is no more

My future's open door

My hope renewed

My purpose restored

Jesus You are

You are the reason

You're the reason I live

The reason I breathe

The reason I sing in the darkness

You're the reason I praise

The reason I dance

The reason I find joy in sadness

Time Off

I think it's time for a little break.

Inspiration is fleeting at times, and right now it's on the lam.

Plus, I'm heading south for a bit.  :)

No worries. I will return...at least that's the current plan.  haha

'Tis the Season!

I can't believe it's already December!

Thanksgiving has come and gone.

It's time to pull out the Christmas decorations.

Cut down the tree.

Hang the stockings.

String up the lights.

It's time to get in the festive, holiday spirit.

Tradition, tradition, tradition.

Cookies become a food group in and of themselves...with hot chocolate, of course.

It's the one time of year that everyone actually wants it to snow...at least on the 25th.

Rudolph and Frosty the Snowman animated classics never get old.

And, of course, it's time to start playing Christmas music 24 hours a day!

So I thought it was the PERFECT time to revisit some awesome Christmas season service openers that North Point Community Church has done.

Last year's iBand!

And in 2009, they collaborated all of their campuses and created a live streaming experience of "The 12 Days of Christmas." North Point Church's East and West Auditoriums, Buckhead Church, and Browns Bridge Church were all singing together and displaying the live streaming video of the other campuses to create a complete song. Notice on the screens the video switches in between campuses. Awesomeness!!  :)

I can't wait to see what they pull off THIS year!

Break My Heart

I've been hesitant to write this.
I feel like I'm exposing a little too much.

Of course, I'm always saying that I'm a big proponent of transparency, so now is not the time to start hiding. Honestly, I think I'm feeling a little hypocritical, because I feel like I've also touted the desire to live out my faith. But right now I'm struggling with that. Actually, I'm not sure what I'm struggling with exactly, but something has definitely been bothering me this week, and it's not the first time it's bothered me.

We watched the film 58: at church on Sunday. It's a global initiative that's seeking to unite Christians to end extreme poverty in our lifetime by living out the call of Isaiah 58 to fast, shout, and give, and then to celebrate what God has done for the poor and in our hearts and lives. The film documented several impoverished people and families and encouraged the church to rise up and act. The cause is an incredible one. It's a godly one. It's ambitious and yet attainable. God calls us to care for the needy. He commands us to take care of the poor.

I'd like to say that I sat there on Sunday watching these stories play out in front of me, and I was moved to tears. That I was stirred to rally for the cause. That I came away fired up and ready to take action to fight poverty alongside this movement.

No. Instead, I sat there and felt nothing. I sat there repeatedly praying in my head, "God, break my heart for what breaks Yours. God, break my heart for what breaks Yours." Nothing stirred. My heart felt nothing. "GOD, BREAK MY HEART FOR WHAT BREAKS YOURS!!" Still...nothing. And then, after it was over, I did nothing.

Then I started reading Mark Batterson's book, Primal, this week, and he ironically spends some time focusing on compassion: things that break Christ's heart and how they should, in turn, break our hearts. He repeats the same words that I was repeating to myself on Sunday.

When you give your heart to Christ, Christ gives His heart to you. That new heart gives you a new appreciation for life. You humbly acknowledge your responsibility to honor Christ. You literally feel different. Why? Because you feel what Christ feels. And chief among those sanctified emotions is compassion. Your heart begins to break for the things that break the heart of God. And that is the heart of what it means to love God with all your heart.

I'm typically a fairly generous person. My heart does, indeed, break over a multitude of things. I've felt led to give to multiple causes, organizations, and people...and I've given. But there have also been times when I've been a part of an event or conference when I've not answered a particular organization's call to take action, and I haven't supported the cause that was being promoted. And I've felt guilty. I felt guilty on Sunday, too. I want my heart to break over the things that break the heart of God, and it bothers me that I haven't been moved to give at times in the past. It bothers me that I wasn't moved this past Sunday.

I realize that we're all wired differently, and God's given us different hearts and passions, and I think that also leads to different COMpassions. But I've struggled to know if that means that we only need to give to causes that we feel compassion toward? Or are we obligated and responsible to always give toward certain things? Am I interchanging compassion vs. God's leading and getting hung up mixing two different issues? I do actually care. I have given and will continue to give to causes and organizations that are, in fact, fighting poverty...not only because I've felt led by God to do so, but also because I believe it's an area that requires obedience whether or not we FEEL like it. But I still struggle when I don't give to everything. I know we can't all support every cause. We can't all do everything, but we all can and should do something. But saying no to some still bothers me. Is it ok to say no sometimes? I'm not sure I know what the answer is...

Do you?

When You Came

The people living in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned.  ~Matthew 4:16

Light has dawned in the shadow

Life has shattered the dead

Glory has overcome darkness

Sight has revealed what's ahead

Truth unveils the deception

Grace eclipses the shame

Mercy forgives transgression

Found recovers the strayed

You came to bring freedom

You came to bring change

You came to bring light into this darkened world

And nothing remained the same

When You came

You came to bring healing

You came to bring hope

You came to bring life like we've never known before

And everything changed

When You came

Peace has overwhelmed turmoil

Love has drowned out hate

Joy has broken through sorrow

Strength has encouraged the faint

Comfort supplies the needy

Clean washes the stained

Freedom bursts through the chains that have held me

Hope heals all the pain

You came to bring freedom

You came to bring change

You came to bring light into this darkened world

And nothing remained the same

When You came

You came to bring healing

You came to bring hope

You came to bring life like we've never known before

And everything changed

When You came

We were lost

We were broken

We couldn't find You

We were blind

We were wandering

We didn't see You

Until You came

Fleece

Is it ok to question God?
Is it ok to test what you think God's leading you to do?
Is it ok to wonder if you're hearing God correctly?
Is it ok to ask God to prove Himself?

Enter Gideon and his fleece.

In Judges 6, God comes and has a little chat with Gideon saying that He is going to use Gideon to rescue the Israelites from Midian. Gideon flat out sees the LORD face to face, and yet he still questions God and asks Him to prove Himself...and not just once, but twice.

Then Gideon said to God, “If you are truly going to use me to rescue Israel as you promised, prove it to me in this way. I will put a wool fleece on the threshing floor tonight. If the fleece is wet with dew in the morning but the ground is dry, then I will know that you are going to help me rescue Israel as you promised." And that is just what happened. When Gideon got up early the next morning, he squeezed the fleece and wrung out a whole bowlful of water. 

Then Gideon said to God, “Please don’t be angry with me, but let me make one more request. Let me use the fleece for one more test. This time let the fleece remain dry while the ground around it is wet with dew." So that night God did as Gideon asked. The fleece was dry in the morning, but the ground was covered with dew.

I've come up on two different sides of this coin. On one hand, there have been times when I've thrown caution to the wind, plowed full steam ahead, and run after what I think is best. I think it has to be what God's best is for me, because for all intents and purposes it looks good on the surface. And honestly, there's nothing even wrong with it. It really is good. But I've never stopped to consult with God on the matter. I've never given Him the opportunity to speak into the situation. I've never asked Him if it really is what He's calling me to do. I've never asked Him to prove Himself. And then I've found out that what I thought was His voice, really was just my voice telling me what I wanted to hear.

There have also been times when I've over analyzed. I've asked God to show me what He wants me to do. I've prayed. I've poured over the Scriptures. I've asked for signs. I've questioned if it's God speaking, or if it's just me trying to convince myself. I've mulled it over. Talked to other people. Tested the waters time and time and time again. After all that, I've still felt the same call on my life, but then I didn't do anything. I didn't take any action. I remained in my comfort zone...still waiting for God to prove Himself...when, in reality, He already had. I was just too afraid or just too plain comfortable to follow.

I believe that it's not only wise, but it's also necessary to seek God's direction in our lives. It's foolish to come to rash conclusions without consulting Him first. Decisions should be made with prayerful consideration combined with affirmation from His Word. And setting before Him a "seemingly impossible, only God could do this" fleece of a test can sometimes be the most prudent and godly action we can take. But, in conjunction, I also believe that if you're going to test Him, then you also better be ready to take action and follow Him.

The very next verse that follows Gideon's fleece test reads: Gideon and his army got up early and went. Gideon didn't go and ask other people what they thought. He didn't keep thinking about it. He didn't over analyze.

Gideon asked for a sign.
God answered Gideon.
Gideon went.
End of story.

Actually, that's not the end of the story. It's just the beginning. The rest of Judges 7 tells of how God used Gideon to defeat the Midianites. God worked through Gideon to rescue the Israelites just like He promised He would.

So go ahead. Ask God to prove Himself. Lay out your fleece before Him. But when He speaks, make sure you're ready to respond. He's going to work through you just like He promised He would!

I've seen how God has specifically answered the prayers one of my former pastors more than once as he's placed his fleece before God with an open heart and feet ready for action. (You can read his blog posts here and here.) I just love how God continues to speak to us today and show us His will.

All He Says I Am

There are so many voices out there telling us how we should act...what we should look like...who we should be.
It's so easy to get lost within the lies of those voices.
To never actually hear and know the truth of who we are.
To never hear the only Voice that matters.
To never hear the truth of who we are in Christ.
To never know the love, freedom, and abundant life that's found through knowing Him.

So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.

Our identity is in Him and Him alone.
We are His beloved children.
Redeemed. Restored. Whole. ALIVE!!

No, I will not abandon you as orphans—I will come to you. Soon the world will no longer see me, but you will see me. Since I live, you also will live. When I am raised to life again, you will know that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. Those who accept my commandments and obey them are the ones who love me. And because they love me, my Father will love them. And I will love them and reveal myself to each of them. 

I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.  

I love Cody Carnes' song All He Says I Am that expresses all of this so incredibly well. I could just sit and listen to it over and over and over. In fact, I have...

He whispers in my ear

Tells me that I'm fearless

He shares a melody

Tells me to repeat it

And it makes me whole

It reminds my soul

I am all He says I am

I am all He says I am

I am all He says I am

And He says I am His own

I was blinded by scales upon my eyes

And He came like a light

And burned up all the lies

Oh He set me free

He reminded me

I am all He says I am

I am all He says I am

I am all He says I am

And He says I am His own

Chains are broken, scales are on the floor

Truth is spoken, I'm no orphan anymore

Chains are broken, scales are on the floor

Truth is spoken, I'm no orphan anymore

Chains are broken, scales are on the floor

Truth is spoken, I'm no orphan anymore

I am loved

I am new again

And I am free

I'm no slave to sin

And I'm a saint

I am righteousness

And I'm alive!

I'm alive!

I'm alive!

I'm alive!

I'm alive!

I'm alive!

Oh I'm alive!

I'm alive!

I'm alive!

I am all He says I am

I am all He says I am

I am all He says I am

And He says I am His own

Black Friday

I can't say that I ever remember actually going out and shopping on Black Friday before...well, at least not at some ungodly hour of the morning. I think it takes a special kind of person to actually really enjoy that kind of mayhem. And special, I am not! Well, not that kind of special at least. :o)

So I'm curious...if you are one of the special ones and you actually enjoy the craziness, do you do anything in particular to prepare for your outing? Do you plan exactly where you're going and map out your route? Do you head out in the morning, or do you camp out over night? Have you ever gotten into a fight over the "last one on the shelf"? Do you go by yourself, or is it a group event?

I was thinking that if I ever decide to go out and brave the chaos, I'd need some tips to help me figure out the best course of action. Since we finally have our very own Target that just opened up in town, I found their commercials from last year, and I think I'm all set now. Of course, I can't tell exactly, but I think this lady might be on crack. So now I'm second guessing her suggestions, and I'm not so sure that taking advice from the Crazy Target Lady is really the best idea after all???
But she certainly is special, isn't she?! :o)

Tip #1: Practice Reverse Psychology

Tip #2: Visualize Your Path

Tip #3: Check The Weather

Tip #4: Use A Utility Belt

Tip #5: Draft To The Doorbusters

Tip #6: Make A List & Check It Thrice

Oh my word. Apparently in 2010, they only opened at 4am. But now in 2011, they're opening at 12am!! Absolutely crazy. Hope you're ready!! :o)

Happy Thanksgiving!

I'm thankful for a ton of things. Obviously, there are those big ticket items like my relationship with God, my family, friends, a good job, my home, etc. where God has poured out abundant blessing upon my life. But there are lots of little things too...most of them might even be considered trivial. But I'm still thankful for them none-the-less.

Coke Zero - zero calories with less "diet taste" than diet.

iPhone - I never have to be disconnected...EVER. I think I'm addicted.

Hillsong/Jesus Culture - putting out some of the best worship music out there (I could list several more, but these probably top my list at this particular moment)

christianbook.com - just a click away from an amazing new book, and it's ALWAYS fun to get packages in the mail...even if you've sent them to yourself.  :-)

Lucky Jeans - simply awesome

Cadbury Mini Eggs - why such an amazing form of chocolate is only available for a couple months out of the year, I'll never understand.

College football - Saturdays in the fall are never boring, and I will forever be a Penn State fan...WE ARE!!

Ann Taylor & Banana - the OUTLETS, not the real stores. My closet thanks you!

Pumpkin Spice Lattes - Starbucks, I am eternally grateful.

The iPod jack in my glovebox - it has forever changed my car music experience.

Brooks sneakers - I love you, and I curse you. You have made me able to run pain free, and now I have no more excuses.

The elliptical in my basement - being able to exercise no matter the weather (also affording me no excuses...shoot)

USATF - now I actually know how far I'm running, AND it's fun to map new routes.

Elf - Christmas (and, honestly, the rest of the year) wouldn't be complete without it!

Great blogs - Perry Noble, Pete Wilson, Rick Glass (when he actually writes...ha), Tripp Crosby, Jon Acuff, Carlos Whittaker, Steven Furtick, Plywood People, Leading and Loving It ...and that's just to name a few.

Heated Leather Seats - there's nothing else that needs to be said.

Special K with Red Berries - my dinner staple 75% of the time.

I could go on and on. It was hard to narrow down my list, but I might be most thankful that my Thanksgiving day will NOT be like this... 

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

:)

What trivial things are you thankful for??  :)